Blood Lust
by Hank's Lady
Summary: 21 year old Jacob finally admits to best friend Embry that he likes guys, leading to a trip to a club where he finds himself unexpectedly attracted to one of the acts there, leading to complications for him and the pack. Rated M for language and sex of the slash variety, possibly fighting later.
1. Chapter 1

**And now for something completely different. My first ever fic including a vampire as one of the main characters. Just a little idea that came to me and unsure how it will turn out or how long it will go on, but I hope you enjoy. All reviews and feedback greatly appreciated and as per the summary, note this is M/M (slash), so if that's not your thing, turn back now. It's also rated M for language, lemons and possible violence so under 18's better click on the 'x' and read something else :o)**

**I will still be updating Never Too Late until it's finished and there will be a new chapter up shortly, but thought I would throw this into the mix as well. Hope you like.**

CHAPTER ONE

It was only a matter of time before I got sprung by Embry. He had been my best buddy since kindergarten and I don't know how long I thought I would be able to keep it a secret. He wasn't blind or stupid, but I never said anything and he never asked. Somehow I had always managed to keep my thoughts suppressed when the pack was phased although none of us had done that in over four years. Embry finally opened his mouth on my twenty-first birthday when there was practically an orgy going on in my house and I was keeping out of it.

"You ok?" he asked, catching up with me in the kitchen where I was digging more beers out of the refrigerator.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're hiding in here," he pointed out.

"So?"

"There's half a dozen girls out there panting for you," he added.

I shrugged. "You know I don't fuck around," I muttered.

"I sometimes wonder if you fuck at all," Embry said. He leaned against the kitchen counter and stared at me. "Are you gay?"

I opened my mouth and nothing came out of it. I closed it again and swallowed. "Why do you say that?"

"Just wondering. I don't think I've ever seen you get it on with a girl. Well, when we were sixteen maybe, but not since."

"Maybe that just means I'm not a slut," I grunted, bending down and sticking my head in the refrigerator while I grabbed some more bottles, hoping my face didn't look as red as it felt.

"Come on, Jacob, I thought we told each other everything," he said. I straightened up, wondering if I should just tell him. I glanced at the open door. He followed my eyes, stuck his foot out and kicked it shut. Then he folded his arms and fixed his not-giving-up stare on me. "Well?"

"Why's it so important?" I prevaricated.

"It's not. You're the one who's making a big deal out of it by acting like you've got some big secret going on, so I figured, either you're in love or you're gay and I doubt it's the former since I never see you with anyone."

"So you assume I can't possibly be in love, so I must be a fag?"

"You can just say you're not, you know," Embry said with a grin.

I glanced at the closed door again.

"You think I'll tell the others whatever you tell me?" he said, his grin vanishing to be replaced by a slightly hurt expression.

I shook my head. "Sorry, no. Alright, I like guys, okay? I like both. Are you happy now?"

Embry grinned again. "Jeez, Jacob, it's like pulling teeth with you," he said. "Did you think I'd have a problem with what you're into?"

I shrugged again and stared at the cupboard to the left of him.

"You're so uptight," he continued. "What the hell does it matter? If you like girls or guys or goats, for Christ's sake, I don't give a shit. So are you seeing anyone?"

"No," I said.

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm picky, you know that part," I said.

"Yeah, don't I," he laughed. "The only girl you ever showed any interest in at school was Bella Swan."

I grinned despite myself. Bella's Dad was a cop and very protective of his little baby girl. I'd spent the best part of a year trying to get into Bella's panties. I wouldn't give up though, despite the fact that several other girls were after me and I could have had any one of them instead. In the end I got around Bella, took her to the prom and deflowered her. I avoided her like the plague afterwards, having discovered she was a whining, clingy depressive sort, and I had been lucky her Dad didn't find out and shoot me. It was right around then I decided the thought of cock was much more enticing than pussy.

"How long have you liked guys?" Embry asked.

"I don't know," I lied. "Years."

"Yeah, but do you just think about it and wonder, or do you do anything about it?"

"What do you want out of me? Every little detail?" I grumbled. I was embarrassed at the thought of telling him anything about me and guys. Admitting it was hard enough. I still had visions of him running straight to Quil, the other guy we were both closest to, and bursting out with, 'hey, did you know Jake bats for the other team?' or something similar.

"A couple of vague hints would be better than nothing. Like how many guys have you screwed? Something like that."

I opened my mouth and then shut it again as the door burst open and Paul came in looking for beers.

"Just getting some," I said, passing him a couple of bottles.

"Thanks." He retreated and I made to follow him.

"Jacob!" Embry exclaimed. I glanced over my shoulder.

"Two," I said and made my escape.

That was all he said on the subject for the rest of the night, but he continued to be a thorn in my side until I agreed to let him drag me to the Sun Lounge in Port Angeles one Saturday night. I spent the whole drive over there thinking it was a lousy idea. I had never been to a place like that in my life and had no idea why I had agreed to it, but after an hour or so I didn't feel particularly uncomfortable about it any more. The Sun Lounge wasn't exactly a gay club, but more gay people than straight went in there. I guess you would call it a kind of strip joint. They had both male and female dancers, alternating between the sexes. Embry wasn't interested in guys, but he wanted to shove me into getting some action and I decided at least the club would be fun. He enjoyed himself watching the female strippers which cavorted about constantly and the scantily clad barmaids.

We sat at a cocktail table close to one of the dance podiums, which at that point had a girl on it wearing cat's ears, a long fluffy tail attached to the back of her panties, thigh high black leather boots and nothing else. Embry watched gleefully and I alternately watched her and grinned at him. When she stopped and waited to see if any customers would give her a tip, Embry rose, a slight blush on his face and tucked a twenty dollar bill into the side of her panties. She treated him to a sexy smile and left the podium.

It remained empty for five minutes and then the next dancer appeared and climbed up on it. This one was a guy and my attention was immediately caught. It wasn't much to do with what he was wearing, which wasn't a lot. He had on a black lycra G-string, black suede cowboy chaps with fringes, cowboy boots and a stetson. His hair was collar length and a kind of dirty blond. I stared and was immediately aware of Embry staring at me. I glanced at him and raised one eyebrow. He just grinned.

I looked back up at the dancer. He moved with the music, but I mainly looked at his face when it was turned my way. His skin was incredibly pale, eyes a curious swirling gold colour, although that could have been the lighting. What struck me most was that I'd never seen anyone look so lost and hopeless and so desperately unhappy. He looked like he would have given anything to be somewhere else.

He seemed to realise I was paying more attention to him than any of the other club goers and he turned more towards our table, not catching my eye, but appearing to stare at the bottle of beer on the table in front of me. I smiled slightly and tried to make it obvious I wasn't leering. The poor guy looked as if he would run a mile if someone tried to touch him.

When the music changed it was the end of his dance and he paused for a moment for tips. No one else was really paying him any mind.

"Go on, then," Embry said with a grin. "Give him a tip."

"Fuck off," I muttered, but I got up and pulled a bill out of my pocket. I sure as hell wasn't going to tuck it into his underwear. I put it into his hand. I didn't actually touch him, but pulled my hand back before his fingers closed over it.

His eyes met mine for a moment. I was right, they were a honey gold colour and almost seemed to be glowing.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

He gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, but didn't speak.

"What's your name?"

"Jasper."

"Jacob." I gave him another smile and tried to think of something else to say, but the next performer was approaching the podium and he was forced to step away.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." He walked away slowly, head down and I returned reluctantly to the table, following Jasper with my eyes as he walked off. He glanced back once over his shoulder before he disappeared through a door to the left of the bar.

"Jeez, Jacob, don't get with a stripper, he's probably riddled," Embry groaned, wrinkling his nose.

"I can look, can't I?" I said idly, grabbing up my beer and draining the last of it from the bottle.

"You don't have to have a conversation with the little slut. Add to that, he's a leech."

I turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. I must have drunk more than I thought if I hadn't picked that up.

"Couldn't you smell him?" Embry added, pulling a further disgusted face.

"No, actually. And it was your idea to give him a fucking tip," I reminded him.

"Yeah, well I thought you were in danger of sitting there all night doing nothing," smirked Embry. "I don't think much to your taste though."

"Go to hell. Want another?" I tilted my empty bottle in his direction and he nodded. I got up and headed for the bar.

"Two beers, thanks," I said to the girl wearing only a push-up bra and shorts behind the bar as she leaned towards me. She nodded and snagged two bottles from the chiller behind her. I handed over a bill and told her to keep the change, just as a guy in a suit appeared at my side, a sly smile on his face. My eyes narrowed.

"Yes?"

"I'm Steven, the manager here. You and your friend enjoying the dancers?" he asked.

"I guess."

"You can book a private dance for a hundred bucks."

"No, thanks."

"Fifty a piece if you don't mind sharing," he added.

"Yeah, well we don't have the same taste." I grabbed one of the bottles and gulped some of the cold beer.

"Jake, how long does it take to get a couple of beers?" Embry grumbled, appearing at the other side of me suddenly and snatching the second bottle.

"Excuse me, I was just discussing our private dancing options with your friend," Steven said, looking past me at Embry. I groaned inwardly.

"Oh, were you?" Embry grinned. "How much?"

"Shut it, Em," I hissed.

"A hundred per dancer."

"How about I shout us both?" Embry smiled wider and pulled out his wallet.

"Em, forget it, ok?" I growled. "What's wrong with you?"

"Might as well make the most of it since we're here." He ignored me and began counting out the bills. "The kitten and the pale guy in the cowboy outfit, ok?"

"Embry, Jesus!" I hissed. "Make you mind up, you said the guy's probably riddled."

"Yeah, that was when I thought you were about to run after him and ask for his number, or a date, God forbid," he said quietly.

"Certainly." Steven whisked Embry's money out of his hand in a second and began walking towards the back of the club, one hand raised to beckon us to follow him.

"Em, I'm going to kill you later," I muttered, following reluctantly.

"Yeah, you'll love it. About time you had some excitement."

"Not this kind."

"You know, for a cool rock singer, you're a hell of a bore," Embry pointed out. "Just go with it for once. You don't have to do anything, do you?"

"Fine." What would it hurt, I thought. I liked the look of the guy, didn't I? Leech or not. Embry was right, sometimes I was too uptight for my own good and the thought of the little vampire dancing just for me had my pants beginning to tighten.

The pair of us were led out of the main club down a narrow corridor, a doorway every few yards, some with curtains drawn across.

"Shit, this is so seedy," I said under my breath. "What the hell am I doing?"

Embry was marching ahead behind Steven and I just knew he was grinning from ear to ear thinking about getting a lap dance from the cat girl. I actually couldn't imagine anything worse. I didn't want or need to pay for anything and this was nothing short of embarrassing, not that my cock seemed to agree at that moment.

"Jessica! In here, babe!" Steven called out suddenly, halted outside one of the unoccupied rooms and a moment later the kitten appeared at the end of the corridor and began to bounce towards us, a huge smile on her face, her breasts bouncing in time to her steps. She ducked into the room and Embry followed eagerly. The curtain was drawn across and I was left there in the corridor with the manager. He ushered me into another room and I hovered uncertainly for a moment, then sat down on the velvet couch to one side of the room.

"Jasper!" Steven bellowed.

"Do I have to?" I heard a timid voice outside ask a moment later.

"Don't argue with me, you worthless little shit! Get in there!"

My eyes widened in horror and my half-erection subsided rapidly as I wished again that I hadn't agreed to come to the damned place. Jasper lurched into the room suddenly, almost tripping and the curtain was yanked across the doorway behind him.

"I...um...hi, Jacob," he stammered. He looked as if he wished the floor would open up and swallow him and I guessed if he had been capable of blushing his whole face would have been suffused with colour.

"Hi."

"You paid for me?" he said, sounding surprised.

"My friend did."

"Oh. I've never...um...done this before. I've only been here a couple of weeks." He went to the hi-fi in the corner, selected a track and switched on the music.

"You look like you wish you were somewhere else," I commented, noting the way he trembled slightly.

"Yeah, well, I need the money." He stood in front of me, avoiding my eyes.

"Do you get any of the hundred bucks for this?" I asked.

"Yes, half."

"Sit down and talk to me," I said suddenly, scooting along the couch to make room for him. His mouth fell open.

"But...I'm supposed to dance."

"You don't want to."

"But you paid..."

"I paid for your time, so I guess that means you do what I ask so long as I don't touch, right? So sit down and forget about dancing."

I must be going soft I thought, as he perched himself gingerly on the cushion next to me. I didn't particularly want a lap dance, but I could have at least got something out of it. But no, I had to go and feel sorry for the little leech like the fool I was. Embry would fall on the floor laughing if he could see me.

"What do you...um...want to talk about?" Jasper asked shyly.

"Anything. You. How did you come to be working in this shit hole?" I turned to look at him and waited for him to answer, eyeing him curiously. He looked young, probably no more than eighteen, or at least no more than eighteen when he was changed. For all I knew he may not even have been born in this Century.

"It was all I could find to do. I'm kind of...new in town. I needed something to pay the rent."

"You're a newborn?" I asked.

"Near enough, but...you know? Are you worried that I might...? I mean, I won't, but...you know, they'd fire me if the clientele started disappearing."

"No, I'm not worried. I'm a wolf," I told him. "I could probably hold my own."

His eyes widened and he edged away from me.

"I didn't know. I mean, I couldn't tell. Normally I can...uh..." he stammered.

"Smell dog?" I grinned. "Yeah, well normally I can smell vampire, but not with you strangely. I'm no threat to you. At least not unless you get hungry."

"Well, I feed on animals, not humans, or wolves even," he said. "So I'm no threat either."

"That's good to know." I knew the Cullen family near Forks, a strange bunch of vampires living in the woods, did the same thing and called themselves vegetarians. Weird as hell, but at least they had never been a threat. "So how long do I get for my hundred bucks?" I asked him now.

"Um...until you...get off, I guess."

"I got a lot of self control," I grinned. "Might take me a while."

"So, can I ask something about you?" He treated me to a small smile and flashed impossibly white and sharp looking teeth.

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Well, you look sort of familiar somehow. Like I might have met you before. Are you famous or something?"

"Not yet," I snorted. "Maybe one day. I sing in a band. Wolfpack. Pretty original, huh? We've played clubs around Washington and Oregon and I guess we got our pictures in the music press a few times."

"Rock music, right?" Jasper smiled wider. "I saw you in Portland maybe a year ago. Jacob Black, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Is that where you're from? Portland?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been...? You know."

"A leech? You can say it. Three hundred and forty-one days. It was my nineteenth birthday." His smile disappeared. "You don't want to hear about that."

"Yeah, I do. I paid for you to talk, remember." I looked at his sad face and wished I could have reached out to touch him. Ridiculous that I would feel sorry for a vampire and a seedy little stripper at that, but I couldn't help it. He had sparked my interest and I wanted to know more.

"Jacob, are you done yet?" To my intense annoyance Embry's head appeared around the curtain and his mouth fell open as he noted us sitting on the couch, a couple of feet between us, looking anything but sexy. "What the fuck are you doing? Hell of a waste of a hundred bucks. Jesus, you really need to loosen up."

"Will you fuck off?" I snapped.

The curtain was yanked aside and Steven appeared beside Embry. "Clearly we're done. Jasper, get back to work. Collect your money at the end of the night."

Jasper sprang up and scuttled out of the room without a backward glance and I got to my feet, scowling.

"I hope he gave you your money's worth," Steven frowned.

"He was _well _worth the money," I said firmly. "I was just saying thanks. In fact I was going to give him a tip, but I guess I didn't get around to it. Here." I pulled an additional twenty bucks out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"That good, huh? It was his first booking," Steven said in surprise.

"Yeah, that good. I'll be back." I stepped out of the room quickly and began to hustle Embry away before he could say anything.

"You'll be back? What the hell is the matter with you? You weren't even doing anything. Or rather he wasn't. Did you seriously just sit there and talk to him?" Embry said in amazement as we walked out of the club into the fresh air.

"Yeah, so? Did I say I wanted a lap dance? No. I felt sorry for the kid, alright? He didn't want to do it any more than I wanted him to."

"He's a fucking stripper, Jacob, it's his job," Embry snorted. "Plus he's a leech. You're not supposed to feel sorry for them, they're disgusting."

"Yeah, alright, you can drop it now. Here." I pulled more bills out of my pocket and held out a hundred towards him.

"What's this?"

"You think you wasted your money," I grinned.

"Jerk." He ignored the money and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I just wanted you to loosen up. You can pay for the motel rooms."

"What, we're staying over?"

"Duh," Embry rolled his eyes. "How many beers did you drink? Even more than me so neither of us can really drive. Besides, I'm not sitting in the car for over an hour with fucking sticky pants."

"You're an animal," I grimaced.

"No, just got my money's worth, that's all. Are you really coming back here again?"

"Maybe," I said.

Would I come back, I wondered? Did Jasper really interest me that much? Did I want to risk spending any more time with a bloodsucker? Somehow I found the idea exciting and I guessed that I probably would come back although I doubted I would tell Embry when I was doing it. That would have to remain my little secret.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

I did go back. I spent the next week talking myself out of it and telling myself not to be such a dick, but it didn't work. I couldn't seem to get the little vampire out of my head and it infuriated me, but by Friday night I knew I had to see him again. Every time I saw his face in my mind I longed to put a smile on it and when I thought about him smiling at me I felt a flutter in my stomach, a mixture of excitement and arousal. I couldn't help myself; I wanted him.

No one had any plans for that night, the band didn't have a show booked and none of the other guys asked me to join them for anything. Embry and Quil had both picked up girls at my birthday party and were taking them out and Paul and Jared were doing their own thing.

"What are you doing, Jake?" Quil asked me without much interest as we all parted in the early evening.

"Nothing much, quiet night for me," I shrugged. I was surprised that Embry hadn't said anything to me, but as I hadn't mentioned Jasper since the morning we left Port Angeles, he seemed to have either lost interest or simply forgotten.

An hour later I was showered, changed into tight black jeans and a white shirt and setting off in my Volkswagen Rabbit towards Port Angeles. I really needed to do something about my car, I'd had the old heap for five years and it did absolutely nothing for my image. I guess I'd spent so long building it up - blood, sweat and tears sort of thing that I was reluctant to part with it.

Ninety minutes after that and I was in the Sun Lounge, sipping a beer and sitting at the same table Embry and I had used before. The kitten was on the podium in front of me gyrating to a tune I didn't recognise and I watched with feigned interest, my eyes darting around every few seconds in search of Jasper. My stomach was full of butterflies and I did my best to quell them. What the hell was I doing coming over here to see him again? A leech? I must have something wrong with me. I still felt sorry for him and I hoped no one had booked him since I last saw him, firstly because I knew he would hate it and it secondly because I was...I wouldn't let myself use the word 'jealous', but it was a close thing.

The kitten finished her dance and someone sitting nearby got up to give her a tip. She shot a look in my direction, her bottom lip protruding in a pout before she walked away. I smirked to myself; Embry would have been up like a shot with a tip. She was replaced by a young male dancer and after him, a bunny girl. Jasper didn't appear at any of the other podiums either and I wondered if he was even working, which made me feel more stupid for driving seventy miles to see him.

I went to the bar for another beer and resumed my seat as the bunny left the podium and disappeared behind the bar. It remained empty for a few minutes and I scowled into my bottle, my eyes darting around the club again. When I faced front once again he was right there, stepping up onto the podium, wearing shamefully tight white lycra shorts which disguised absolutely nothing and white boots. I couldn't suppress the wide grin which stretched my lips apart as I looked up at him and his unhappy expression immediately lightened and he gave me a shy smile as he began his dance.

I didn't know if it was his smile that made the difference, showing he was glad to see me, or the outfit. Every wrinkle in his cock was outlined against the damned white lycra, which could well have been painted onto him. Whatever it was, my jeans grew uncomfortably tight as I watched him perform for two or three minutes and the second he stepped down I was on my feet with a tip in my hand, unconcerned about whether he noticed the effect he was having on me.

"Hey, Jasper."

"Jacob. I didn't expect to see you again."

"Couldn't help myself." I pressed the bill into his hand and this time his fingers closed over mine before I took my hand away. Even though I knew what he was, the coldness of his skin against the heat of mine startled me and sent a shiver down my spine. It was like touching something straight out of the refrigerator. I let go slowly, wondering what that cold hand would feel like stroking my cock. I trembled at the thought.

"I'm back on in about thirty minutes if you..."

"Jasper, get out of the way, I'm on now!" a girl in a babydoll nightdress snapped at him from behind before stepping up onto the podium. Jasper withdrew reluctantly and disappeared.

Maybe ten minutes later the table to the left of the podium became occupied by a large guy in a suit. Large was a pretty polite way of describing him, he probably weighed three hundred pounds and not an ounce of that appeared to be muscle. I grimaced and concentrated on my beer until Jasper returned for another performance, still in the same outfit.

I noticed the fat guy lean forward in his seat, eyes bulging and licking his lips. I scowled, clenching my fists in my lap as a moment later he loudly began to make lewd comments to Jasper, causing him to look more and more uncomfortable. As soon as he finished his dance I was up again, another bill in my hand.

"Please don't give me any more money, you're making me feel guilty," Jasper begged, his eyes meeting mine.

I reluctantly put the money away and noticed Fatman get to his feet and walk up behind the vampire, a chubby hand suddenly extending to smack and then squeeze his lycra-clad butt. Jasper gasped in shock and jerked away, his startled movement making him bump into my chest and suddenly I had him resting against me, his coolness penetrating my thin shirt. I put my hands on his waist to steady him, marvelling at the smoothness of his skin. It was all I could do not to begin stroking my hands over his body; as it was I moved one to the small of his back and briefly held him there against me.

Steven suddenly appeared, a frown on his face and Jasper stepped slowly away from me, his eyes lingering on my face for a moment.

"Jasper, get out of here!" the manager snapped.

The vampire hurried away and Steven eyed first me and then Fatman.

"No handling the merchandise, either of you."

"How about a private booking?" Fatman suggested with a grin.

"Fine, it's a hundred dollars, but still no touching."

"Done." He pulled out a wallet and plucked a hundred dollar bill from it.

"I'm willing to pay one-fifty," I interrupted. Damned if I was going to let Jasper dance for this slimey fat creep who had already shown he couldn't keep his hands off.

Steven eyed me curiously. "My, he must have made an impression on you last week."

"Two hundred," Fatman put in. "I want to see what all the fuss is about."

I glowered. "Two-fifty." I thanked God Embry wasn't there with me. I felt like a complete jerk bidding for Jasper like he was an animal at an auction, but I found myself unable to drop it.

"Fuck it," muttered Fatman. "No one's worth that unless they're going to give some proper action." He dropped back into his seat which creaked loudly under him.

"You better be good for this," Steven warned me.

"You better make sure the kid gets half of it," I responded, counting out five fifties.

"Keen, aren't you? Maybe we can come to some arrangement; you know, for more than just a dance," he said in a low voice. "We have rooms upstairs."

"Go to hell," I growled, horrified. "Cops know you're running a sideline as a pimp, do they?"

"Uh...of course not, it's nothing of the sort, I was merely offering you a favour, you know, for a good customer," Steven blustered, flushing.

"Right. I'll find Jasper myself." I headed off towards the door to the side of the bar and a moment later I found the room I had been taken to before. It was empty and I paced about for perhaps two minutes until Jasper suddenly appeared and pulled the curtain closed behind him.

"You know, you shouldn't keep spending your money on me, you haven't even been getting anything out of it," he said shyly.

"Price went up tonight too," I said with a grin. "Fatman out there was after you, I outbid him."

"But why?" His mouth dropped open and he gazed up at me. He was probably two or three inches shorter than me, I guessed.

"You hate this fucking job, you shouldn't be working in here," I grumbled.

"Well, like I said, I have to pay the rent. You don't owe me anything, Jacob. I should really do something for you," he added. "Like I'm supposed to."

"Only if you want to." I gave him a smile. Part of me wanted to tell him not to; to just sit and talk to me again, but I was horny and I couldn't help being curious about what would happen if he were to dance just for me.

He smiled back. "I don't mind doing it for you. I've been practising."

"Not on the customers, I hope," I teased.

"No. No one else bothered with me."

I felt stupidly relieved and went to sit on the couch now, my cock stiffening in anticipation at the sight of the ridiculously tight shorts he wore and the memory of the feel of his skin under my hands.

By the time he had selected a track on the CD in the machine in the corner and begun to gyrate in front of me, I was rock hard and aching and when he turned away, bending slightly, his firm shapely butt practically in my face, it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself. I gripped the arm of the couch with one hand, my other fist clenched on the cushion beside me as he lowered himself over me until he rubbed against my crotch. A groan escaped me and I ground my teeth together. Damnit, I was a pervert and I was loving every second.

He drew away quickly and spun around, a few more gyrations in time to the music and then he was kneeling astride me on the couch, one hand gripping the back of it behind my shoulder, his crotch bumping against the hard-on which was deperately trying to burst out of my jeans. I couldn't stop myself any longer. I put my hands on his cool thighs and then slid them around to his butt, pulling him tighter against me.

"Jacob, don't, you can't," he protested, not making any effort to pull away.

"Sshh," I panted. I doubted Steven would say a word if he even noticed us after my veiled threat about the cops. I stroked my hands over the shiny lycra and around to his firm thighs again, closing my eyes as he continued rubbing himself against me and cursing myself for wearing such stupidly tight jeans. When I came, just before the end of the song, I came hard, unable to suppress my groans. I could feel my face colouring up before I even opened my eyes and looked at him.

I sniggered uncomfortably, feeling as if I ought to apologise. One thing I had noticed was that he hadn't become excited at all throughout the whole thing and I wondered suddenly if his apparent liking for me was faked all along and he was simply doing an incredibly good job. Maybe the comment about only doing this for me was really just bullshit. I took my hands off of him quickly and he got to his feet. I was a fool and an embarrassed one at that. For all I knew, a vampire, in effect the walking dead, may not even be capable of getting hard. That was something that hadn't occurred to me earlier.

"You're angry with me," Jasper said softly. "I'm sorry, I thought it was what you wanted." He looked crestfallen and ashamed.

"Is this all an act?" I asked. "The reluctant shy thing?"

"No," he said at once. "How could you think that?" He sat down suddenly on the couch next to me. "I guess that was a stupid question, the dancers all have some kind of persona for the customers. This is really me, I hate it here. I just...I like you. You're the only person who's ever been nice to me." His lips trembled and he looked down at the floor.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't do this sort of thing, you know? And you seemed like..."

"...I wasn't enjoying it," he finished. "I'm just nervous. And in case you're wondering, yes, everything does work like it should do...I mean like it would if I was normal...human." He laughed suddenly and put his hands over his mouth like a kid who had just told a naughty joke.

I grinned at him. "When do you finish work?"

"Uh...in about an hour, why?"

"Because I want to be able to talk to you somewhere other than this godawful place," I said. "So how about I wait for you and..." I had no idea what I was doing. Maybe I was just swept up in the moment, hormones raging, my cock still half hard in my pants, the image of him straddling my thighs in those damned lycra shorts, the feel of him against me, but I wanted to spend some time with him; proper time where I wasn't paying for it and he wasn't on a clock. Whatever the reason, I felt the most overpowering urge to be with him.

"I can't do that," he said, getting to his feet quickly.

"Why not?"

"Because of what we are. We're supposed to be sworn enemies. You're supposed to want to kill me, not...anything else."

"Well, believe me, killing you is the furthest thing from my mind," I said with a smile.

"You'll regret it," he said.

"I won't."

"It's just a fantasy. You don't see what I'm really like. I don't want you to hate me, it's better that you only see me like this," he protested.

"Better for whom? Look, either meet me, or I'll come back every damned night and pay for your time until I've used all my savings; how's that? Would you rather feel guilty over sending me bankrupt or humour me by spending a couple hours with me?" His excuses were only making me more determined.

He sighed heavily. "Ok. I have to go out there one more time in about twenty minutes, then I can get changed and leave."

"I'll go back to the table and wait," I said, getting to my feet and grimacing, Embry's comment of 'fucking sticky pants' coming to mind. I decided to make a detour to the restrooms and clean up the best I could.

"You're crazy," Jasper said, smiling now.

"Probably." I also felt stupidly as if I'd won a prize. What the hell was going on with me? I left him to it and in ten minutes I was back at the table. I couldn't resist sending a self-satisfied smirk at Fatman who was still sitting there. He glowered back.

"Got more money than sense, you," he remarked. "Is he coming back out?"

"Don't even think about it!" I snapped.

"Who the hell gets possessive over a stripper?" Fatman sneered.

I ignored him and tried not to question my irrational feelings about Jasper. I barely knew him, he was a bloodsucker and he would probably feed on me given half the chance, never mind the fact that he claimed to be vegetarian. Human blood was supposed to be irresistible to them if they got the smell of it. I should have been revolted and putting as much distance between us as possible, but the thought of his cold marble-like skin under my hands and his body pressed up against mine had me stiffening again in a moment. I wanted to know what it would be like kissing him, feeling his cool hands on my hot skin, his body under me. I chewed my lip and grimaced as my cock squirmed its way upright again, pressing against the damp patch in my shorts.

My frustration wasn't helped by the fact that the girl on the podium stepped away at that moment and the object of my fantasies replaced her for the next three minutes. This time I didn't get up to give him another tip, although Fatman made a great show of tucking a bill into the back of his lycra shorts. I wanted to jump at him, but forced myself to sit still and ignore it. In seconds Jasper was walking off and I waited only ten minutes before he reappeared, now wearing light blue jeans and a black shirt. I got up quickly and met him halfway to the door.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I don't know; there's a coffee house two blocks down, we could go there."

"You drink coffee?" I said in surprise.

"No. I mean, I can, but I tend not to. It's a decent place to hang out though."

"Ok."

The coffee house was perfect dimly lit with small lamps around the walls, each table separated from the next by woven partitions and climbing plants. There were only two couples in there, close to the front. We went right to the back and took a corner table. A waiter wearing a long apron appeared in seconds with a menu and a notepad. I took a quick glance and ordered a large mochaccino. Jasper asked for a glass of water and then sat in silence, eyeing me shyly until the waiter returned moments later with the drinks.

"How long have you been...you know, a wolf?" he asked softly when the man had walked away.

"Since I was sixteen. I first phased a couple of months after my birthday. Haven't done it in about four years, though, it halts your aging," I blurted.

"Well, I guess I'm always going to be nineteen," Jasper said wistfully.

"Sorry. Can I ask how it happened?"

"Alright. It was my birthday and I went out with my friends. I told them I was gay about a month before that and they were cool with it. They took me to a club, determined they were going to hook me up with someone. I wasn't really up for it, but I had some drinks and hung out for a few hours. My friends found some girls and this guy came over to me; I knew he'd been watching me and he seemed nice. He looked like everybody else; I guess the lights in the club disguised the fact that he was really pale. His eyes were weird though, totally black. I was a bit drunk and I thought I was probably just seeing things. Anyway, I decided to leave and he said he would walk me home. The minute we got outside I had a bad feeling about it, but it was too late by then. There was no one around, he grabbed my hand and he was ice cold. He dragged me around the side of the building and the next thing I knew I was leaning against the wall with him biting me. It was like it wasn't really happening and I was watching myself like a character in a movie. I passed out and when I woke I was...like this." He smiled wrily. "That's a fairly diluted version."

"I'm sorry," I said. Even having known a little about the Cullens, it had never crossed my mind before to consider how a vampire really came into being, what they might feel like. To me and the rest of the pack they had always just been disgusting leeches who lived for and because of blood.

"Have you killed before?" he asked suddenly, the words shocking me. "I guess you must have or you wouldn't have phased, right?"

I nodded. "They were killers. It was necessary. There are others where I'm from who live on animals like you. I would never have called us and them friends, but we fought on the same side."

"There are others?" Jasper's eyes widened. "Others like me?"

"Yes, a family; the Cullens. Carlisle, he's a doctor and his wife, Esme. Emmett and Rosalie who are a younger couple, supposedly adopted son and daughter. Then there's Alice who can see the future. And Edward and Bella." I cringed as I spoke Bella's name. I'd been so obsessed with her for that year I'd spent chasing after her and she got over her misery at being dropped like a hot potato by getting it on with a vampire instead. Could I really blame her now? After I'd begun to do exactly the same thing?

I told Jasper more about the Cullens and my life growing up on the Reservation; the pack, or the band as they were now; my home, the fact that I was bisexual, but I'd only ever been with the one girl years before so I guess I could really say I was gay. He told me about his young teenage years; a loving family; parents, a brother and sister, school friends; the first few months after he was changed, still living in Portland and occasionally seeing members of his family from a distance, having to let them go on thinking he had simply disappeared and finally leaving Portland so he didn't have to keep seeing them. The more I heard, the more sympathetic I felt. His life had been cut short at nineteen and now he was living in a rough part of town, earning the rent by stripping. I hated it and I vowed I was going to get him away from it somehow.

Hours passed and although he continued chatting to me avidly, his eyes darted about, avoiding mine as much as possible and he fidgeted and shuffled, picking at his finger nails, dragging a hand through his hair, shivering and beginning to look as if he would rather be somewhere else.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" I asked eventually.

"No...uh...I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I hadn't touched him during the time we sat there talking, but now I slid my arm around him and drew him closer to my side. He went rigid and tried to pull away immediately.

"Don't, Jacob."

"So tell me what's wrong, then."

"I just...I have to go, ok, I shouldn't have come here with you."

"If you tell me you haven't enjoyed the last few hours, I know you'll be lying." I gripped his chin in my hand and turned him forcibly to look at me. His eyes were jet black pools, his face anguished.

"Please...you have to let me go," he whispered. He licked his lips and shuddered. I let him go; I knew I was missing something and when he next spoke I could have kicked myself. We had been sitting there talking about vampires and I didn't even realise.

"I need to feed."

My mouth opened and no sound came out of it for a long moment. It was long enough for him to assume I was horrified or whatever it was he thought and he turned and ran out of the coffee house. I jumped up and raced to the door, but when I looked outside he had completely vanished.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to just leave, but Jasper could be anywhere and may not be back for hours. Since he fed on the blood of animals he had probably gone outside of the city. I paid for the three coffees I had drunk throughout the night and stepped out onto the street. It was four o'clock and I wasn't really tired yet, used to staying up most of the night with band practise or shows, but I wouldn't have minded a shower. I had an overnight bag in the Rabbit, just in case I had told myself when I packed it, and now I made my way back to where I had left the car and drove to the motel Embry and I had stayed in the week before.

I took a room and got straight in the shower, glad to be putting on some clean shorts at the very least. Then I sprawled on the bed, the window open, listening to the sounds of the city and thinking about Jasper. Had I made a huge mistake getting to know him? The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him, but how could we be together? The band would be appalled and their wolves would just want to kill him. He was a loner, but the likes of the Cullens would be equally horrified at such a pairing if they heard about it. Or maybe they wouldn't. Bella was with Edward after all. In fact she had become one of them. Not that I had any intention of doing the same thing. Maybe I should just pack up, go home and forget about him, although that would be easier said than done. I continued to let my thoughts wander and time passed, dawn gradually lighting the room.

I jumped as Jasper's feet landed lightly on the floor just inside the window and I bolted upright, my heart in my mouth.

"Fuck!" I hissed.

"I'm sorry I startled you." He bit his lip and his eyes met mine. They were back to their usual golden colour and he almost had a slight glow to him. "I'm sorry about before," he added. "I'm surprised you're still here."

"How did you find me?" I asked, swinging my legs off the side of the bed and sitting up properly.

"I don't know, instinct I suppose." He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "You know, you should just go home and forget about me."

"Yeah, I thought about doing that, I just don't seem to be able to," I told him.

"But I can't be anything to you, not really," he protested.

"Well, maybe you already are. Come here." I patted the bed next to me, but he shook his head. "Jasper, sit down," I urged.

He hesitated another minute and then crossed the room slowly and sat down beside me.

"What do you want from me?" he asked.

"I want to see you stop looking so damned miserable," I said. "I don't want to come back to the Sun Lounge again and see you dancing for some fat asshole who can't keep his hands off."

"I don't have any choice," he protested. "Where else am I going to find work? Huh? It's easy for you; wolves can blend in, be normal people, no one would ever know what you are unless they royally pissed you off. They don't ask questions in the Sun Lounge; you do as you're told, you get paid, that's the way it is."

I was tempted to offer to pay his rent just to keep him out of the damned place, but I knew he wouldn't accept it. Then an idea which I guessed had been edging into my subconscious all night popped into my head.

"What if I could find you somewhere else to live?" I said.

"Where? With you? As what? Your pet? Your friends would try to kill me and you'd finish up hating me, there's no way..." Jasper babbled.

"Woah, wait, that's not what I meant," I protested, grabbing his hand as I sensed he was about to spring up and probably vanish again. For a second he tried to pull away, but then his hand relaxed in mine and I glanced down at his slim white fingers entwined with my thicker russet ones. "Remember I told you about that family? The Cullens?"

"Yes, they're vegetarians and have some kind of treaty with you and your...pack."

"Well, maybe they could find a place for you," I said, wondering if Carlisle would consider it. He was known for being extremely caring. His coven had been formed of people who were dying that he had wanted to save or simply lost ones who needed help. He treated them like family and they all loved him; even Bella who saw him as a father-in-law.

"A complete stranger? I could be anyone. Why would they even consider taking me in?" he said.

"That's what they're like. They're not killers, Jasper, they're kind people."

"Vampires."

"Whatever. Isn't it worth asking?"

"You'd really do that for me?" Suddenly he looked hopeful and his hand gripped mine tighter, almost crushing my fingers.

"Yes, if you promise you won't go back and work in that club again," I said almost fiercely.

"But..."

"If you have to pay rent in the next couple of weeks, I'll give you some money," I interrupted.

"Jacob, you can't do that," he protested.

"Yeah, I can. How much is it?"

"I won't let you give me money," Jasper sighed, pulling his hand free of mine.

"Then think of it as a loan." I took my wallet out and counted out a few hundred dollars. "If you don't take it and you go back to work I'm just going to come in there tonight and book you for the whole night; how much do you think that's going to cost me, huh?"

"Why are you so determined to help me?" he asked.

"Maybe I just like you. Maybe because you spent half the night telling me how much you hate everything that's happened to you in the last year. If I can fix even a tiny bit of that, isn't it worth it?"

"Yes, ok, thank you," he agreed suddenly, taking the money I held out to him. "I must be crazy; a vampire trusting a wolf." He grinned now.

I felt ridiculously delighted. I was getting way ahead of myself, imagining Jasper moving in with the Cullens, me being able to see him any time I wanted, the band... despising him and telling me I was a fucking idiot. Well, I would deal with that part later. I shoved it out of my mind and slid my arm around him suddenly, realising I hadn't even kissed him yet and now I had the most overpowering desire to do just that.

I raised my free hand to touch his face, letting my fingertips glide over the cool skin. I brushed my thumb along his bottom lip and his eyes slid shut, his lips parting slightly. My heart was pounding unevenly and I began to get hard almost before my lips met his, just from anticipating how it would feel to kiss him. I leaned closer and our mouths touched. His lips were softer than I imagined; soft and cool and moist as they caressed mine.

I cupped his cheek in my hand, my other arm tight around him, his cold hands on my warm chest, his teeth gently nipping my lower lip. I wondered if he would bite and the slight fear mingled with excitement, making my cock stiffen more, curving up against my stomach inside the cotton shorts. He didn't bite, but his lips parted eagerly as I thrust my tongue in, tasting him, feeling his tongue stroking over mine. I had never been so turned on in my life by a mere kiss; I positively ached and I pulled away briefly, sliding backwards onto the bed and drawing him down with me. His body came to rest against mine and I felt immediately that he was as excited as I was. I began to kiss him again, more heatedly than before, groaning into his mouth as my head was filled with images of us naked together, his legs wrapped around me, my cock plunging into him.

I pressed myself more firmly against him, feeling his hardness inside his jeans nudging me, pre-cum leaking from me and dampening my clean shorts. He was holding onto my neck with both hands, but now one slid down over my chest, his chill fingers tracing my pecs, resting for a moment over my heart before stroking lower. He moved away from me a few inches, and his hand glided over my stomach, then continued down over my cock, rubbing me through the shorts. I let out a sound which resembled a whimper and tore my mouth away from his, gasping for breath. He took his hand off me and his lips touched my cheek.

"God, don't stop," I moaned, opening my eyes to meet his.

"I wasn't," he smiled and grasped the waistband of my shorts, beginning to lower them. I raised myself a few inches so that he could pull the fabric out from under my butt and a moment later I kicked them off and his icy fingers wrapped around my heat, beginning to pump me with long slow strokes.

"Fuck..." I gasped, rolling my head back. His hand on me felt incredible, better even than I imagined when I had thought about him doing exactly this. His thumb rubbed over the head at the end of each upstroke and when he reached the base, his hand would tighten like a vice, almost painful, but not quite. I held him tight in one arm, my fingers digging into the hard flesh of his back, my other hand fisted in the bed covers as he drove me rapidly towards the edge. Hell, if it was this good getting a simple handjob, what would it be like fucking him? I shuddered at the thought and a second later I came, spurting into his hand and all over my stomach and chest.

"God, Jasper," I panted.

"You liked that?" he asked and as I opened my eyes again I saw a shy smile.

"Are you kidding?" I let go of him reluctantly and grabbed the shorts to clean myself up. I would just have to go commando on the way home. "I'm going to need another shower," I said.

Jasper slid away from me and sat up and when I got off the bed he stayed where he was.

"Hey, come with me," I said.

He shook his head slowly and I went over to him and grasped both of his hands, pulling him to his feet.

"Come on, you think you can make me feel that good and not get anything out of it in return?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I want you."

"No one's ever touched me," he said. "Nor even kissed me before you did."

My heart lurched unevenly and I felt foolishly happy that I was the first to kiss him.

"I won't do anything you don't want," I said. "You can trust the wolf, remember?"

He grinned suddenly, but pulled his hands free of mine and sat down on the bed again.

"I'll just wait here, if that's ok."

"Sure," I agreed reluctantly. "Whatever you want." I headed for the bathroom and paused at the door. "You're not going to disappear again, are you?"

"No. Promise."

I dived into the shower, scrubbing myself vigorously and listening hard for any sound that might tell me he was leaving, despite his promise. I figured he was just reluctant to do anything with me yet - he said he'd never even been kissed after all - but somehow things didn't feel quite right and I didn't know why. So I hurried, grabbed a towel and peeked through the crack between the door hinges while I dried myself. He was still there, sitting on the bed where I left him. I tossed the towel into a corner and headed back into the bedroom naked.

"You should get some sleep," Jasper said.

"You saying I look tired?" I said and then yawned and laughed at the same time. Jasper smiled.

"It's six-thirty," he pointed out. "You've been up all night."

"Yeah, I guess I should crash for a few hours." I threw the sheet back and slid under it. "What about you?"

"I don't sleep."

"At all?"

"No. But I'll stay while you do. If you like."

"I like." I pulled him down beside me and drew the sheet over us. He turned away from me, curling up with his back to me, his head resting on the pillow just inches away. I slid one arm under his neck and the other around his waist, edging closer until my body was moulded to his. He still wore his jeans and shirt and I could feel the coldness of him through the layer of clothes. I almost expected him to pull away, but he nestled back against me with a sigh.

"You're so warm," he murmured. "I miss warmth."

I couldn't imagine what it must be like to go through almost a year alone; a year without physical contact with another person; not even so much as a hug. It didn't seem to matter to me that we were supposed to be on opposite sides of some invisible line. I didn't want to let him go and now I held him tighter, pressing my face into his neck, brushing my lips against the cold skin inside the open collar of his shirt. I moved my hand from where it rested on his stomach and unfastened a shirt button, then another and another, slipping my other hand inside to touch his chest. He was very lean, but toned and I rested my hand over his heart, still finding it a surprise that he had no heartbeat.

Jasper's hands came to rest over mine as if to keep them there to feel the heat and I let my eyes close, exhaustion battling with excitement until the latter gave in and let me succumb to sleep.

When I woke some hours later my arms were empty and I jerked my head up, fearing he had left while I slept, but he was sitting cross legged on the end of the bed, his eyes on me. I licked my dry lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching you sleep." He dropped his eyes. "I guess that's kind of creepy."

"No." I shot him a smile and sat up. I was still tired and I would have killed for some strong coffee at that moment. I grabbed up my cellphone from the table beside the bed and checked the time. It was approaching ten-thirty and just as I was about to the put the phone down again, it rang in my hand.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Jacob, where the hell are you?" It was Embry.

"I'm in bed; where are you?" I grunted.

"Huh, well, you're not in your own bed. I'm in your house raiding your refrigerator. Come on, spill. Who are you with?"

"Fuck off, Em," I frowned.

"I didn't even know you were going out last night. Did you have a date? Or was it some casual pick up. I hope you took rubbers," Embry snorted down the phone.

"Jesus. I didn't need any, I just stayed with a friend, alright?"

"What friend? Me and the guys are your friends."

"I do know other people, Em, I'll see you later," I told him and hung up before he could continue. "That was the guy I came to the Sun Lounge with last week," I told Jasper.

"I guess he wouldn't understand you being with me," he said, smiling slightly.

"No, but he's going to have to get used to it." I grabbed my jeans and began to get dressed. "We better get out of here, I think they kick you out at eleven."

"Ok, I'll get out of your way." He moved from the end of the bed to the window in the blink of an eye.

"Wait, don't just disappear. How am I going to find you when I come back for you?" I said. "Have you got a cellphone?"

"No." Jasper shook his head and then grabbed the notepad and pen from the bed table. "I'll give you my address." He scribbled something and tore the top sheet of paper off the pad, passing it to me. "You're really coming back?"

"I said so, didn't I?" I shoved the note into my pocket and pulled him towards me. "We have a show Friday, I'll come back Saturday."

"Thank you," Jasper said softly.

I brushed my lips against his, then backed off reluctantly and began gathering up my things. By the time I had collected the few items I had left in the bathroom, he had gone.

"Damnit, I hate that you just vanish," I said to the empty room, cramming things into my bag. I went to close the window before I locked up the room, then returned the key to reception, got in the Rabbit and set off back to La Push.

I felt strange on the drive back. When I was with Jasper it had been like he had some kind of hold over me, both last night and this morning. It was only now that he was gone and I was on my way home that it lifted and I realised I hadn't felt quite like myself for some hours. I shook myself and rolled my eyes. I was over-tired and had gotten hooked on him so fast I didn't know where my head was at.

"Jerk," I said to myself.

I reached my house just after twelve-thirty and found Embry still there, sprawling on my sofa, watching my television and eating the contents of my refrigerator. I shoved his feet off of the coffee table and threw myself into the nearby armchair.

"What are you still doing here? What's wrong with your own house?" I said.

Embry sat up straight, resting his elbows on his knees, an eager look on his face.

"You think I'm going to leave before I find out where you've been?" he grinned.

"I told you, I was with a friend." I snatched the jar of chilli dip out of his hand along with the bag of chips on his lap and shoved some into my mouth.

"And I asked what friend and you avoided the question and hung up, which tells me you want to keep it a secret. Which of course only makes me more curious. Who could you have been with that you don't want me to know about, huh, Jake?"

I chewed my lip. He was going to find out soon enough when I brought Jasper back here; I might as well lessen the shock by at least giving him something.

"You were with that fucking creepy little leech, weren't you?" he blurted before I could open my mouth again.

"Jasper. Yes," I said.

"Hell, Jake." Embry made a vomiting noise. "You're out of your mind. You spent the _night_ with him?"

"Yeah, but not the way you're thinking. I like him."

"He's a stripper!" exclaimed Embry. "And he's probably just waiting for the opportunity to sink his teeth into your neck. Or your dick."

I grimaced and scowled. "He's quitting the job," I said. "I told you he hates it. I'm going to ask Carlisle Cullen if they can find a place for him."

Much to my surprise, Embry laughed. "He really saw you coming," he said. "Cool, sexy guy - not that I think that myself - flashing his wallet around, paying to talk to him, being all sweet to him...he must have been creaming himself thinking what he could get out of you."

"Get out," I growled, dumping the chips and dip onto the table and getting to my feet quickly.

"What?"

"I said get out, Embry," I repeated. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you talk shit about him. I'm going to get enough of that from the likes of Paul and Jared. You're supposed to be my best friend, Em, a bit of support wouldn't go amiss."

"Hey, I'm sorry." He held his hands up. "Don't fight with me, I didn't mean anything by it. I just don't want to see you get fucked over, that's all. I guess I didn't expect you to actually start seeing the guy. You're asking for all kinds of trouble getting it on with a vampire, even if he is genuine."

"I know that. But I like him, ok?" I frowned, wondering why I had lost my temper so fast. I was one of the most laid back people I knew for the most part. I went over what Embry had said in my mind and wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that his words had made me question things. Was Jasper really as sweet and innocent and unhappy as he seemed? Could he possibly have seen in me someone to take advantage of; to make use of? Was I being taken for a fool the way Embry suggested?

"Fine," Embry said now. "I won't say another word. I'll even be nice to him if I see him, ok? Just don't expect the others to be quite so accepting. I think you might have a hard time preventing Paul from trying to kill him."

"Yeah, I thought of that, but if he's with the Cullens he'll be part of the treaty," I said.

"You think that'll stop Paul if the leech is on our land and he gets hungry?" Embry warned. "I know he's supposed to be a vegetarian or whatever they call themselves, but there are limits, even for them. If he's starving will he really turn down human blood if he gets the smell of it?"

"Carlisle and the others do," I reminded him. "How many of us has Carlisle fixed up? I mean humans, not just the pack. He has blood on his hands every day and he deals with it."

"He's the only one that does," Embry pointed out. "The little one that sees the future can't control it so well. I don't know about the others."

"Well, so far Jasper has been fine," I said. "Can we drop this now? I have things to do." What I wanted more than anything was peace and quiet and some strong coffee.

"Sure, I'll get out of your way." Embry grabbed the chips and dip to take with him. "Don't mind, do you?"

"Don't you ever buy food?" I grumbled.

"Not if I can eat yours." He grinned and made for the door. "Call me later."

"Sure." I shifted from the armchair to the sofa, kicked my boots off and put my feet up, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Jasper. Embry's words echoed in my head and I couldn't help wondering if Jasper had as much control as it appeared. What if he got the smell of my blood? Would he bite? I had thought that when we kissed and the idea of it still turned me on, as disgusting as that should have been. I was probably playing a reckless game by wanting him in my life, but I couldn't seem to help it and I couldn't wait to see him again.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

I went to see Carlisle Cullen on Sunday afternoon. Saturday night we had band rehearsal which went on until three or four in the morning, after which I slept through until lunch time. By the time I woke I was starving, irritable and all I could think about was Jasper. I showered, made coffee and dug out whatever Embry had left in the refrigerator, which wasn't a whole hell of a lot. I scrambled eggs, made a pile of grilled cheese, topped the whole lot with beans and shovelled it down my neck. I left the house at three and drove over to the Cullens', hoping I wasn't going to get a welcoming committee from the whole family.

Bella opened the door when I rang the bell and my heart sank immediately.

"Hey, Jake." She gave me a small wary smile.

"Hey."

"It's a while since we saw you."

"Yeah." Damnit, I couldn't think of a thing to say to her and I hated smalltalk. "Is Carlisle in?"

"Yes, he's playing chess with Edward."

"Chess? Rivetting," I grunted.

"Would you like to come in?" Bella asked stiffly.

"Thanks."

She stepped back to let me pass and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. She gave me the creeps. Strange because I couldn't wait to get my hands on Jasper, but the rest of them still turned my stomach.

"They're in the rear parlour," Bella told me.

"Parlour? Jesus." I supposed she had picked up on the rest of the family's odd century-old language. I walked away from her and made my way through the house to the room she indicated.

"Check mate!" I heard Edward announce as I pushed the partly open door wider.

"Damn you, Edward," Carlisle laughed. Both their heads turned towards me a second later.

"Jacob." Edward gave me a curt nod. I nodded back and then looked at Carlisle.

"Sorry for the intrusion."

"No problem." Carlisle got to his feet, smiling. "What can I do for you?"

"Excuse me." Edward disappeared quickly as I headed into the room and I pushed the door closed after him, wondering if there was any point. He could read my mind after all, which didn't make me any less uneasy.

"Can I talk to you? Man to man?" I said to Carlisle. He was actually pretty easy to get along with as vampires went, if you didn't count Jasper.

"A little old for a facts of life talk, aren't you, Jacob?" Carlisle said with a teasing smile.

"Funny, Carlisle. Look, I met someone...a vampire. A vegetarian like yourselves."

Carlisle's mouth opened in a round silent 'oh' and his eyes widened. "Go on," he prompted.

"It's a long story."

"I have plenty of time, Jacob. Have a seat."

He sat down again on the chair he had vacated and I lowered myself onto the one Edward had occupied. Then I launched into a shortened version of what Jasper had told me, finishing with the fact that he had left Portland to avoid the pain of seeing his family and wound up stripping to pay rent.

"He hates it," I said. "I gave him money for rent until I could go back. He needs a place to live, Carlisle. Someone to care for him."

"Am I right in thinking you have feelings for him?" Carlisle said pleasantly.

"Yeah. But I can't take him to my house, at least not yet; the guys will probably attack him and I don't know how to help him properly. He's alone and he hates what he is. I told him about you."

"Bring him here," Carlisle said firmly. "That's what you were going to ask, isn't it?"

I nodded, unable to believe it had been this easy. Carlisle didn't even hesitate, but merely asked a few more questions about Jasper before telling me to fetch him from Port Angeles when I could and tell him he would have a home with them.

I left in under an hour and went home, a stupid grin on my face. I only wished Jasper had a phone so I could call him and tell him the news. As it was I would have to wait until the following weekend when I could see him.

The week passed much faster than I expected. We had rehearsals every night and a show on Friday - just a small club in Forks, but it was packed to the rafters and proved to be a great night. I recognised the Forks Herald photographer to one side of the stage snapping away and guessed we would have our faces in the paper the next day.

By the time I got home after the show it was almost dawn. After the performance we had mingled with some of the crowd, letting our followers take photographs, chatting and in Paul and Jared's case, picking up groupies and heading for the nearest motel.

When I walked into the house I pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, grabbed a packet of cookies and headed for the lounge. I didn't see any point going to bed. I wouldn't sleep anyway, pumped from the show and full of butterflies as I thought about going to get Jasper in just a few more hours. I still hadn't talked to the other guys about him, despite Embry nagging me several times during the last few days, but I knew I would have time for that while he was settling into the Cullens' place.

I sat down, put my feet up, gulped some of the beer and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket. It was still off after the show and I pressed the power button, waiting for the screen to light up and show me if I had missed any calls or messages. After a minute or so, the phone began to bleep insistantly and several messages showed up. Surprised, I opened the first and then the others. They were all from Sue Clearwater telling me first that I needed to call her, then that Dad was sick, an update that she had taken him to the hospital and another saying he was ok, but had a bad turn and that it was something to do with his heart problem caused by the diabetes.

"Oh, fuck! No!" I exclaimed, catapulting off the sofa, scattering cookies and spilling beer. I shoved my feet back into my boots and called Sue's number as I flew out of the house again and unlocked the car. She didn't answer and I put the phone into my pocket and headed back to Forks again, my heart hammering in panic. I was convinced he was going to die before I got there; before I could talk to him once last time. I always thought the worst when faced with some dilemma. If Sue had told me Dad got a paper cut I would have imagined him bleeding to death.

I called Embry's number now as I drove to the hospital.

"What's up? I'm about to go to bed," he yawned.

"Dad's in hospital!" I cried. "I'm on the way back to Forks. Sue left me like a dozen messages. It's his heart! Shit!"

"You want me to come over there too?" Embry offered, instantly sounding more awake.

"You don't have to..."

"Don't be stupid, Jake, I'll pick Quil up and we'll be there in thirty minutes." He ended the call without wasting time saying goodbye and I put the phone down again, relaxing a fraction. Em and Quil could always be relied upon to be my shoulder to cry on when needed - we had always been that to each other, since we were five years old and Quil and me protected Embry from bullies.

I reached the hospital in record time and parked up beside Carlisle's car, glad to see he was on duty. I might not like the vampires too much, but I would rather have him than anyone else treat my Dad. I asked the reception desk where to find Billy Black and was directed upstairs to the cardiac unit. I ran up the staircase three at a time, my stomach knotting with worry. Hurtling down the corridor, I almost ran into Sue Clearwater with a paper cup in her hand and I skidded to a halt, panting.

"Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine, Jacob," she said at once. "He had some chest pains and difficulty breathing. They have him on a ventilator, but he didn't have a stroke or lose consciousness or anything. Carlisle is with him now. Here, sit down and drink this. It's sweet tea." She pushed me towards a nearby row of chairs and I sank onto one gratefully, my legs suddenly feeling weak.

"When can I see him?" I asked.

"As soon as Carlisle has finished doing some tests he'll come and find us. It shouldn't be long." Sue sat down to keep me company and I sipped the tea, grimacing. I hated tea.

Fifteen minutes later Embry and Quil arrived, galloping thunderously up the hall towards us until Sue jumped to her feet and gesticulated at them to calm down. She went looking for Carlisle and left them with me. The pair dropped onto the seats either side of me.

"Is he ok?" Quil panted.

"I think so. Sue says he's having a hard time breathing," I said. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"Of course we're going to be here, your Dad's always been like a father to us as well," said Embry.

They kept me company for another twenty minutes until Sue came back with Carlisle and the doctor took me in to see Dad. Things weren't anywhere near as serious as I had feared - apparently he had been overdoing things which resulted in the shortness of breath and pain, which was to be expected in his condition. Although he was on oxygen at present, they expected him to be fine to leave the hospital in twenty-four hours and Sue had already decided to stay with us for a few days. As a nurse she would be well equipped to make sure Dad was ok.

I spent perhaps a half hour with him and then returned to the guys to let him sleep. I sank onto the chair between them with a groan.

"God, I should have been here," I said, filled with guilt. "We're so busy with the band and since I got my own place I see him much less than I should. He's only like this because he was spring-cleaning the kitchen; can you believe that?"

"We're all as bad as each other," Quil said at once. "Up until last year all of us were round your place - your Dad's place - virtually all the time."

"I for one am going to start visiting him more often again," Embry put in.

"We all will," added Quil.

"Guys, he's my Dad, I should be more responsible. I've been too busy running off to Port Angeles the last couple of weeks to think about..." I broke off, aware that Quil was staring at me curiously. Then another thought came to me and I swore under my breath. Jasper. There was no way I could go to him now; I needed to be with Dad.

"Jake?" It was Embry's voice and I straightened up and leaned back in the seat.

"What have I missed?" asked Quil.

"He's seeing..."

"Em!" I hissed.

"...somebody..." finished Embry.

Damnit. I may as well tell him now. At least part of the story.

"Who is she?" Quil was quick to ask, eyebrows rising. "Do we know her?"

"It's a guy," I almost whispered, not looking at him.

"What? What did you say?"

"I'm gay," I said a little louder.

"But...but..." Quil's mouth flapped for a moment. "Since when?"

"Hell, I don't know, the only girl I ever liked was Bella," I sighed. "Years, I suppose."

"Why did you never say anything? You think we'd have not wanted to know you or something?"

"Well, it's not exactly easy to just come out with it." I snorted suddenly at my unfortunate choice of words.

"How long have you known?" Quil asked Embry.

"Couple of weeks."

"Right. So you're seeing someone?" Quil turned back to me again. "Who is he? Do we know him? How long has it been? Are we going to meet him?" he babbled.

"You don't know him, I met him in Port Angeles. His name's Jasper," I said. "He's nineteen."

Embry raised a single eyebrow at this and I frowned at him. I wasn't quite ready to tell Quil the rest of the story. It was all going to come out soon enough when Jasper came to live with the Cullens. If he ever did. What would he think when I didn't show up? Would he wait for me? I had told him I would come get him, that he could trust the wolf and now I was having to let him down. I struggled to sit still and not leap up and pace about.

"Wow, how did you meet him?" asked Quil curiously.

"He's a...um...he works in a club we went to," Embry said tactfully.

"You two went to a club without me?"

"It was full of gay guys, you wouldn't have liked it," said Embry, grinning.

"Yeah, ok. But we still want to meet this Jasper guy," Quil urged. "When are you going to bring him over here?"

"I don't know. Soon, maybe." I looked up as Sue came towards us again.

"Jacob, your Dad's settled for the rest of the night, I would go home and get a few hours' sleep. I'll call you if anything happens, although there's no reason to worry."

"I'd rather stay here," I said at once.

"You look like hell, Jacob, you should go and sleep," Embry said. "I'll come over and stay if you like."

"Yeah, you just want to eat all my food again," I said with a faint smile. "Alright, I'll go home. You will call me, Sue, if...?"

"I promise," she said.

Thirty minutes later I was home. Embry did stay with me and the first thing we did was find something to eat. Well, Embry ate, I watched, my stomach a knot of anxiety both over Dad lying in hospital thanks to me not being there to help him and Jasper waiting for me in Port Angeles, not yet knowing I couldn't go after all.

"You should have some of this," Embry said, indicating the stack of peanut butter sandwiches he had made. "Your Dad'll be fine, you heard what Sue and the doc said."

"Yeah, I know, I can't stop feeling guilty though. And I'm supposed to be going to get Jasper in a few hours; I won't be able to and..."

"Going to get him? You're bringing him _here?_" Embry gasped.

"I went to see Carlisle like I said I was going to; they're giving him a home."

"Just like that? They don't even know him. Nor do you actually."

"You know what Carlisle is like; he wants to help Jasper. Only now I can't go and he'll be waiting."

"You got a phone, don't you?" Embry said with a sigh. "Call him. He's not going to be mad you can't go when your Dad's sick."

"He doesn't have a phone," I groaned. "Shit. I _promised _him."

"Call the Sun Lounge," suggested Embry.

"He won't be there, I told him not to go back." I pulled out my cellphone regardless and searched for the number of the club on the internet. The phone rang for perhaps a minute before anyone picked up and I asked to speak to Steven.

"Who is this?" Steven's voice asked moments later.

"My name's Jacob. I'm calling about your dancer, Jasper."

"What about him?"

"Is he still working there? I need to get a message to him."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't give out any information about our employees," Steven said stiffly. "I don't know you from Adam."

"I'm the guy who...um...bid for him last week against that fat guy," I said awkwardly, avoiding looking at Embry.

"I see. Well, you won't find him here, the little waste of space quit on Monday," snapped Steven and then hung up.

I was partly relieved and partly more worried that I couldn't use that avenue to contact him.

"You had a bidding war for the leech?" Embry said, aghast.

"Yeah, look, never mind that." I was almost tempted to ask Embry to go over there and find Jasper, but given how Em felt about the situation, I knew it was a lousy idea. I would just have to hope that Dad would recover fast and that Jasper would wait.

"This might be a blessing in disguise," Embry said then. "A wolf and a vampire is never going to work; not in a million."

I didn't answer him. I felt a small niggle of doubt that he might be right. I could bring Jasper over here, move him in with the Cullens and see him, but the others were unlikely to ever accept him. If Embry was this vehemently against it, the others would only be worse and Dad...he would hate it. He did know I liked boys and as always he supported me, but to have his son taking up with a vampire? It would probably give him a heart attack, quite literally.

I tortured myself with my thoughts over the next few days, not knowing what to do for the best. Sue and I fetched Dad home less than twenty-four hours after I had been to the hospital to see him and I temporarily moved in with him again, as did Sue. Dad repeatedly told me not to be silly, that I should be in my own home and that I worried too much. He begged me to stop feeling guilty, which I couldn't do and told me to get back to work and concentrate on the band, but I stubbornly stayed there, fussing around him and trying not to let myself dwell on the fact that four days had passed since I was supposed to collect Jasper. Whatever decision I made about him, I couldn't even let him know and I felt sick over it.

It was Thursday morning when Dad tackled me. Sue had gone home for a few hours to clean her house up, knowing Leah and Seth who both still lived at home would have turned it into a bomb site by then. I made Dad a snack and sat down with a mug of coffee, staring into the steaming liquid and chewing my lip.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" Dad asked. I looked up and his eyes bored into me. "Don't tell me nothing, son. I know you too well."

"It really is nothing," I said.

"Bull. You're worrying about something and it's more than just my stupid ticker. Spill."

"I met someone," I sighed. He would just hound me until he got it out of me, but I was loath to tell him the whole story.

"And you miss them because you haven't left the house in days, looking after me," Dad said. "Jacob, I am fine. Sue is here, the other boys keep coming in every other day and you need to get back to your own life. Come visit when you want, but go home, please. And call whoever it is and arrange to see them. Are you going to tell me anything about them?"

"It's a boy, he lives in Port Angeles," I said.

"Uh huh. Does he have a name?"

"Jasper. Dad, don't ask anything else, ok? It's not going to work, so I should just forget about him." My stomach turned over at the thought of not seeing him again and I knew my face was giving me away.

"Why wouldn't it work? You obviously like him; does he like you?"

"Yeah, but I let him down. And there's a complication we can't get around."

"Like what? Anything can be got around if you want to enough," Dad reasoned.

"Not this one. He's a..." Shit, I knew he was going to think I was a complete idiot. I didn't know why I was even contemplating telling him.

"A what?" prompted Dad.

"He's like the Cullens."

"Oh." There was a long silence and I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing myself for even mentioning Jasper's name. I had been right. Dad thought I was a jerk.

"That's a little awkward," Dad said. "Does he know what you are?"

"Yes, of course, I told him. Embry already thinks I'm out of my mind. The others don't know. I only told Quil a few days ago that I like guys. It wasn't like I went looking for a vampire, it just happened," I said wistfully, remembering the first time I saw him, his sad face, how sweet and shy he was when he stumbled into the private room and I told him I only wanted to talk.

"So what are you going to do now?" asked Dad.

"Forget about him, I suppose, like I should have done in the first place instead of going back, making him promises that he could live with the Cullens and that..."

"Sounds serious," Dad interrupted. "You talked to Carlisle about this?"

"Yes, he said he would give Jasper a home; he hates his life, he was taken away from a loving family a year ago; he's alone, doing a job he hates to pay rent."

"You're a fool, Jacob," said Dad.

"I know," I groaned. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just...really like him."

"You're a fool because you really like him and you're sitting here grovelling to me and making excuses," Dad went on, much to my surprise. "Why haven't you fetched him like you promised? Because of me being a touch under the weather? I hope you called to explain."

"He doesn't have a phone," I said dumbly. Dad was supporting me in this? I wondered for a moment if I could be dreaming.

"So the boy has been waiting for you to turn up, not knowing why you haven't?"

"It's probably for the best."

"Best for whom? You? Him? I have to admit, it's not the best situation I've ever encountered, but have you seen yourself? I've never seen you look so miserable, Jacob. If he's that important to you, then figure the rest out later."

"The band will probably want to kill him," I said doubtfully.

"He'll be part of the treaty, won't he, if he's with the Cullens? You seem to forget that one of my best friends has a vampire for a son-in-law. He got used to it eventually. It wouldn't be impossible for me to do the same if he's what you want."

I had almost resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going to see Jasper again and now my heart began to hammer and butterflies filled my stomach, but at the same time I worried. What if he didn't want to see me after I let him down? What if he wasn't even there? For the next three hours as I talked to Dad a little more, then took a shower, changed and drove over to Port Angeles in the Rabbit, my heart was in my mouth.

I easily found the address Jasper had given me. It was a small apartment block not far from the Sun Lounge; a run down looking building with a beggar sitting outside. There was no security door on the building and I headed up the filthy stairs to the third floor, walked along the landing to Apartment B and pressed the buzzer. I heard no sound and I knocked, waited and then knocked again. Nothing. I pushed the door and it swung inwards slowly with a slight squeak. Shit.

"Jasper?" I stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind me. I was in a small lounge room with two doors opening off of it. One stood open and revealed a bathroom. The other was closed and I tapped on it before I opened it too and looked inside.

"Jasper!"

He was huddling on a narrow bunk, his arms wrapped around himself, his body shaking. Now he sat up slowly, staring at me with jet black eyes as he hissed a response.

_"Stay away from me!"_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - Lyrics from Nickelback quoted later - I am not pretending they are mine ;o)**

CHAPTER FIVE

"I'm so sorry I didn't come Saturday," I said. "My Dad was sick, I..." I stopped, horrified by the look of him. His skin appeared translucent, eyes like coal and he seemed weak, shivering, his teeth clenched. I realised I knew nothing about him and his kind except for how to kill them; I could only guess that he was like this because he was starving.

"What can I do?" I asked.

"Go," he said through his teeth.

"You think I'm going to leave you like this?"

"Please. I don't want you seeing me this way." He turned his face away from me. "And I don't know how long I can control myself."

"How long is it since you...fed?" I asked.

"I don't know, I don't know what day it is. I went out Friday night. Please go, Jacob, you're putting yourself in danger."

"No, I won't go. I came to take you to the Cullens' like I promised. Why haven't you been out since Friday?" It was six days ago, I realised. How long could a vampire go without feeding before it suffered? Obviously not six days.

"I kept hoping you would show up, I didn't want to miss you. I left it too long."

I felt terrible. He was in this state because of me and I had no idea how to help. Ignoring what he had said I crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, gripping his upper arms.

"Don't." He made to pull away, but then slowly leaned towards me, his eyes closing. "You smell so good," he whimpered.

It happened so fast I simply sat there unmoving for several long seconds. One instant he was sitting there, his head hanging, his whole body shaking and the next, his mouth was on my neck, teeth breaking the skin and I could feel my blood being drawn from me in powerful gulps. My pulse sped up and my blood seemed to race through my heart and towards the point in my neck from which Jasper was sucking my life force. I found I was holding my breath and my pants were growing uncomfortably tight. I tried not to even think about that part. Being fed from shouldn't have been a turn on; I must be pretty deranged.

A moan came from Jasper's lips as he sucked more blood into his mouth and my cock twitched from both the feeling in my veins and the sound of him. Then he wrenched himself away from me, flew backwards across the room and hit the wall, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes were wide with shock.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, get out of here, _please,_" he begged.

I touched my neck and felt nothing. The small wound had aleady healed and my fingers came away clean. He hadn't spilled a drop. I stood up, uncomfortably aware that it was pretty obvious I was aroused. Luckily Jasper didn't appear to notice. He barely seemed able to bring himself to look at me at all.

"I'm not going back without you," I said. "The Cullens are expecting you. They'll help you."

"How can you even want to help me? I disgust myself!" Jasper exclaimed. "I vowed I would never drink human blood."

"You were desperate," I said.

"I still am. More so now I got the taste of you." He closed his eyes and shuddered.

"Come with me now," I said firmly.

"You're not going to give up, are you?" he asked, looking at me through still lowered lashes.

"No."

"Then you're going to have to put me in the trunk of the car," he said. "I wouldn't last a minute sitting in a car with you."

"I can't do that!" I protested in horror, imagining him crammed in the Rabbit's small trunk.

"You must."

"It's over an hour."

"All the more reason."

It was clear he wasn't going to go anywhere with me unless I did as he said and I nodded reluctantly and stepped out of the bedroom, waiting for him to follow me. He pushed himself away from the wall and in a flash he was at the apartment door, pulling it open and heading out onto the landing. Apparently the brief few mouthfuls of my blood had given him enough strength to move like lightning again.

I followed and by the time I was out of the apartment door, he was down the stairs and had left the building. I ran down the stairs and found him standing outside, the beggar staring up at him and asking if he had a spare dollar. Much to my surprise, Jasper tossed him a handful of coins before he turned to look at me. The Rabbit was parked at the kerb and I unlocked the trunk quickly.

"Are you sure about this?" I worried.

"Yes. And don't stop until we get there, whatever I might do." He climbed in quickly and folded himself into the cramped space. I stared down at him, hating doing this, thinking he looked like a small helpless child curled up in there. I took a deep breath and slammed the trunk closed.

"Hey! You kidnapping him?" the beggar called out.

"Fuck off!" I snarled, pulling open the driver's door. I felt horrible. Worried for Jasper, angry that he was in this mess because of me, longing to go and unlock the trunk again and pull him into my arms. Instead I stuck the key in the ignition, fired up the engine and stamped heavily on the gas. It was going to be a hell of a long drive back to Forks.

Around thirty minutes passed and despite keeping my ears pricked for the slightest sound, I heard nothing from Jasper. It didn't make me feel any better and I urged the little Rabbit as fast as it would go, watching the miles go by on the counter. We were past the halfway point when I heard a sound from the truck; a light thud, then another. I listened hard, picking up choking sounds and scratching. Oh fuck, what if he was suffocating in there?

'Vampires don't breathe,' I thought to myself. 'Don't be stupid.'

The sounds continued, interspersed with thumps and bangs and I chewed my lip, my heart pounding with anxiety as I continued to drive. After a few minutes it was silent again, but then I heard his voice.

"Jacob...stop, please...let me out."

My foot eased up on the gas. I couldn't help it, despite the fact that he had told me not to stop for anything. He sounded desperate and I took one hand off of the wheel and chewed my nails as the speed of the car gradually reduced.

"Please...I'm dying in here." This was followed by a sob and my foot drifted to the brake. Shit. We were still almost thirty miles from the Cullens' house. He had said don't stop. If I let him out he might vanish...or attack me...or...

"We'll be there soon," I called out and stomped on the gas pedal again.

_"Get me the fuck out of here!" _he screeched and I ground my teeth together, both from his yell and the sound of nails scoring metal which followed. It was impossible to ignore him, but I kept my foot on the gas determinedly, pushing the little car as hard as I dare until at last the forest on the outskirts of Forks came into view. There were constant bangs, screams and howls coming from the trunk by then and I was damp with sweat, my heart slamming against my ribs and my stomach rolling with nausea at the sound of his suffering.

I slowed the car and turned up the long driveway, following it up between the trees towards the house. They were expecting me; I had made a brief call to Carlisle on my way to Port Angeles earlier and both he and Emmett were outside when the Rabbit slid to a halt in the gravel and I threw the door open. Alice and Rosalie emerged from the house as I walked around the car towards the trunk.

"He's in a bad way," I said, dragging a hand through my hair.

"Give me the key, Jacob," Carlisle said. "Step away. How long since he fed?"

"Six days. Except for a little bite out of me before we set off."

"Shit," muttered Emmett, exchanging glances with his foster father. "Jake, back up. Get over to the house."

"Alice...supplies," Carlisle instructed.

"What are you doing?" I wondered as the little girl vampire vanished into the house quicker than I could blink and then reappeared in mere seconds holding a tray with six foam cups on it. "What are those?"

"Blood."

"Oh, God," I groaned. I went to stand by Rosalie, who eyed me with distaste.

"Keep your distance, mutt," she sneered.

"Rose!" growled Emmett.

"Sorry, darling." Rosalie gave me a sweet and exaggerated smile instead, then pursed her lips up, watching as Carlisle approached the rear of the car with the key. The small vehicle was rocking slightly and a volley of bangs was sounding on the underside of the trunk lid.

I watched, my heart in my mouth, as Emmett stepped up beside Carlisle, the trunk lid rose rapidly, Jasper virtually exploded out of the small space and both Cullens caught him, gripping him tight by the arms and wrestling him towards the house steps. He fought them, kicking and clawing, yelling at them to back off, but the two together were much stronger and bore him to the ground, sitting one either side of him on the lowest step and holding him there while Alice bent forward above him, leaning down with a cup of blood in her hand. After a few more seconds I turned away, unable to watch Jasper greedily slurping the contents of one cup after another. Rosalie smirked at me.

_"This_ is what you want in your life?" she said. "Five years knowing about us, Jacob, and you still know so little. Did you think you could make him your pet and feed him soup like a human?"

_"Rose!" _Emmett bellowed. "Put a lid on it!"

"Well, really, whoever heard of a dog and a vampire together, it's ridiculous."

"Rosalie, that's enough. Go inside, please," Carlisle said quietly, releasing Jasper now and standing up.

I risked a glance again and noticed Alice removing the empty cups, Jasper sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and his head down. I took a step forwards, but Carlisle shook his head.

"Leave him with us for now, Jacob. Call me tomorrow."

"But..."

"Come on, Jasper, I'll show you your new room," Emmett said, jumping up and pulling Jasper to his feet.

Jasper looked dazed, I noticed, as if he didn't know where he was. I wanted more than anything to go to him and I willed him to at least look at me. He began following Emmett up the steps to the house, his head turned to the side. As he reached the top he did look at me and his eyes locked onto mine for a second before his rather vacant expression rapidly turned to one of mortification and he shot away from Emmett in a blur and disappeared indoors.

"He'll be fine, Jacob, don't worry," Carlisle said. "Do you want to tell me what happened before you got here?"

Guiltily I told him Jasper had remained in the apartment waiting for me, refusing to even go out to feed and then latching onto me for perhaps fifteen seconds.

Carlisle and Alice exchanged glances and Rosalie, who was still hovering in the doorway, laughed now.

"You're going to have fun and games, doggy. You know now he's got a taste for you, he'll want more. Human blood - or even yours - is like a drug; once we get a taste, it can never be enough."

"You are such a bitch sometimes," Alice snapped. "Jasper's a sweet boy, he just needs some love and care, that's all." She turned to look at me. "I don't see anything bad, Jacob, just ignore Rosalie. Go home now and call Carlisle tomorrow like he said. We'll take good care of him, I promise."

"Yeah, thanks, Alice," I said doubtfully.

I hated to leave. I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I could talk to Jasper, but the look on his face told me that wasn't going to happen, certainly not today. He had looked as if he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Carlisle handed me the car key and I went to close the trunk, noticing the deep score marks on the inside from Jasper's nails. I grimaced and slammed it closed.

"He'll be alright, Jacob, you did the right thing bringing him here," Carlisle told me, giving me a pat on the shoulder. "I should go in."

"Yeah, of course. Thanks, Carlisle." I hesitated another moment and then reluctantly got back into the Rabbit and headed for home.

Typically Embry was there when I got in and Quil with him, both tucking into something they had dug out of my freezer.

"Where've you been?" Embry asked, his mouth full. "I asked your Dad, he just said you had gone out."

"I did go out," I said, flopping into the armchair opposite them. "Guys, if you keep eating me out of house and home, I'm going to change the locks, I swear."

Quil snorted and crammed a piece of a garlic baguette into his mouth.

"So where've you been?" repeated Embry. "Port Angeles?"

"Yeah, if you must know."

"And?"

"He's here."

_"Here?"_ Embry glanced at the door as if he expected Jasper to walk through it at any moment.

"Well, you know..."

"Will you two quit talking in code and tell me what's going on?" Quil demanded.

"The guy I'm seeing," I said. "He's a vampire. A vegetarian like the Cullens."

"What the fuck?" Quil's mouth fell open. "What the hell is wrong with you? A _leech, _Jacob?"

"I guess I expected that kind of reaction," I said. "I already got it from Em. I like him, ok?"

"You need your head read. What happens when the rest of us run into him, huh? Our wolves won't just stay asleep, you know."

"He'll be protected by the treaty," I said. "Carlisle Cullen's taken him in."

Quil turned to look at Embry. "Did you know about this?"

"Not all of it. Look, give him a break, Quil, no one can help who they fall for," Embry said.

"Sorry, Jake," said Quil. "I don't care one bit that you're gay, but really, you have shit taste."

"You're always going to think that, Quil, unless you suddenly decide you like guys," I blurted.

Embry snorted. "Maybe we should take him to the Sun Lounge and let him see those boys in G-strings, you never know."

"Are you for real?" Quil wrinkled his nose. "I'm going to start worrying about you, Em, if you keep talking like that. So, Jake, how are you going to tell Paul and Jared about this? And your _Dad?"_

"Dad already knows," I said. "It was him told me to get my ass over to Port Angeles earlier. As for the others - if they don't like it, it's just too bad. I never met anyone I liked this much before, so no one is going to wreck it for me."

I didn't know then, but I didn't need any of them to wreck it for me and as it happened, it was a while before I had to deal with Paul and Jared. I saw Dad later that afternoon and told him Jasper was at the Cullens', although I didn't tell him anything about the dramatic journey. He said he hoped that things would work out for me and I would have been willing to bet he would be the only person to say so, whether they actually thought it or not.

Somehow I slept that night, although I woke early in a state of nervous excitement, anxious to see Jasper although I had to at least do a few hours' work before I could get away. I still worked the garage around six hours a day and it made decent money. Contrary to popular belief, small clubbing bands that hadn't yet caught a break would have starved without day jobs. I serviced two vehicles and completed small repairs on two others, then locked up at three o'clock, spent an hour with Dad and went home to call Carlisle. I figured it had been long enough for Jasper to have settled in and I was all set to race over there. However, the conversation didn't go as I hoped and my heart sank when Carlisle spoke.

"Jasper needs a few days to adjust. It's best you don't come over just yet."

"Is he ok?" I asked at once.

"He's fine. He's ashamed of his behaviour yesterday."

"He couldn't help that," I groaned. "I blame myself; if I'd gone to Port Angeles when I said I would..."

"It's not your fault," Carlisle interrupted at once. "But give him a little time, he's not ready to see you yet."

"Yeah, ok." I was beyond disappointed. I was longing to see him, to wrap my arms around him, run my hands over his coldness and feel his hands on me. I shuddered and adjusted myself in my tight jeans as I remembered those few minutes in the motel room two weeks before.

"...call you then," Carlisle was saying.

"I'm sorry, I missed that," I said.

"I said I'm sure he'll want to see you in a few days and I'll call you then," Carlisle repeated.

It was a brush off and I fumed as I said goodbye and ended the call. I supposed I could understand Jasper feeling embarrassed about me seeing him in the state he had been in, but it didn't make it any easier for me to wait. I resolved to try and be patient, but I continued calling each evening to find out how he was doing.

It wasn't always Carlisle who answered my calls, but sometimes Esme or Edward. Even Rosalie picked up on Thursday - a week after I had left Jasper with them.

"What do you want, mutt?" she said coldly when I announced who I was.

"What do you think? I want to talk to Jasper."

"He's not here."

"Well, where is he? Is he ok?"

"Why should I tell you anything?" Rosalie said.

"If you won't, then hand me over to one of the others."

"Fine. He's out hunting with Emmett and Edward. Becoming quite the little brother too. Can't see why he would want to bother with you any more actually. He's with his own kind now, mutt, he doesn't need you any more."

"Rosalie, what are you doing? Give me the phone!" I heard Alice's voice say. A moment later she spoke to me. "Jacob? Ignore her, you know what she's like. Of course Jasper wants to see you."

"When?" I demanded.

"I don't know..."

I still didn't get anywhere and I determined that I would simply turn up at the Cullens' house on the weekend and surprise him. If discomfort was the only thing keeping him away from me then he was just going to have to face it and get over it. If there was another reason, then I wanted to know about it.

The band had a show on Friday night in Port Angeles. We all finished work early, took all the equipment over there in Paul and Jared's trucks and set up in the club, did a sound check and then went out to get some food. My mind wasn't really on the show that night - all I seemed to be able to think about was Jasper and I wasn't really in the mood to perform. Embry and Quil knew what was going on, but I still hadn't told Paul and Jared.

I glanced over at the guitarist and drummer now as they sat in the corner of the dressing room, Paul still tuning his Fender for the tenth time and Jared tapping his drumsticks on his ankle where it rested on his other knee. I would talk to them after the show I decided. At least I would tell them the part about me being gay. I would see how that went first.

We could hear the noise of the crowd as the club filled up and began getting ourselves ready. I was never nervous about going on stage, but tonight I was. I was convinced I would fuck up, forget the lyrics or something stupid and for once I wished I could hide behind an instrument like the others. Usually I liked being the front man and I dragged my hands through my hair and groaned. I just wanted it to be over.

"Jake, come on, we'll be on in five minutes," Embry said, grabbing his bass. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine. I guess I'm just not in the mood." I got up, glanced at myself in the mirror and leaned against the wall of the small dressing room as we waited to be called.

Three minutes later and Jared was on his way to the stage. We heard cheering as he took his place behind his drumkit and a minute later the other three guys went out. Paul on lead guitar always took the left side of the stage, Embry and Quil on bass and rhythm to the right. I waited while they began the intro to one of our songs, then took a deep breath and ran out to take my place behind the microphone. The already noisy crowd increased in volume until I began to sing and then the yells and screams changed to the words of the song which was a popular one that most of them seemed to know.

By the end of the first song I was relaxed again and enjoying myself, but I still couldn't stop thinking about Jasper. I wanted to see him so much and a small amount of dread had been creeping into my mind the last few days - dread that maybe he wouldn't want to see me at all.

We performed twelve songs and then left the stage, waiting for the screams of 'encore' and the applause to increase to sufficient volume before we went back out for two final songs. We usually sang covers for the encore and tonight the final song was to be Nickelback's 'If Today Was Your Last Day'. Paul picked that. He was the tough guy, the one who would much rather fight than anything else and hated anything soft and romantic and yet he picked a poignant song that was more like a ballad than anything else - one that always brought a lump to my throat when I sang it.

_"My best friend gave me the best advice, he said each day's a gift and not a given right; Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind; And try to take the path less travelled by; That first step you take is the longest stride..."_

It seemed to have more meaning than usual, I thought as I launched into the chorus. Maybe it was just me; maybe I was just applying it to my situation like thousands of others probably did.

_"If today was your last day would you make your mark by mending a broken heart? You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars regardless of who you are;_ _So do whatever it takes 'cause you can't rewind a moment in this life; Let nothing stand in your way 'cause the hands of time are never on your side..."_

Damnit, there was that lump again - that part of the song always got me. The fucking Cullens weren't going to stand in my way any longer, I would see Jasper the next day and not waste any more time.

"Jake..." Embry's mouth was to my ear and I paused as Paul and Quil started singing the final chorus. "Look left, at the end of the stage..."

I turned my head and looked past Paul and the stack of amplifiers and there was Jasper, his black clothes making him look all the more pale, his eyes fixed on me. I sucked my breath in, surprised and just managed to smile at him before Embry leaned forward to make use of my mike, joining in the chorus with the others while I dithered and couldn't remember for the life of me what the last few lines were. My heart was in my mouth and I couldn't wait to get off the stage and talk to him. Obviously he wanted to see me after all.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

I was usually the last to leave the stage after a show, lingering and letting a few of our followers take photographs of me, but today I was backstage before the others could even turn around. Embry caught me up a moment later.

"Are you going out there to talk to him?" he asked.

"Of course I'm going to talk to him," I said breathlessly. "I just know I'm going to get mobbed by everyone else and people will wonder who he is."

"Bring him back here then," said Embry.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"We're all going to be out there in a minute anyway."

He stopped talking as the others charged in. Paul and Quil put away their guitars and Jared appeared for a few seconds, announcing there was a hot girl in the audience he wanted to catch up with and then vanished immediately. Paul and Quil were quick to follow. With us being the only band performing there was no great rush for us to leave and Seth, who we usually paid to help us set up, had gone out to begin dismantling Jared's drumkit. A club security guy hung around in the corridor between the dressing room and the rest of the club to prevent anyone getting back there and stealing our equipment. Now I followed Embry out to the club, my heart slamming against my ribs and my palms sweating. I wiped them on my jeans, wondering what to say to him; wondering if he would even still be there.

The minute Embry and I emerged, a dozen or so girls flocked around us wanting autographs and photographs. We were a club band, nothing more, and I sometimes wondered if I really wanted to make it big. I loved being on stage, but I hated the thought of the dozen or so admirers turning to hundreds pawing at me, chasing after me, having to have security with me like some of my favourite stars did.

It took almost ten minutes for me to escape; more and more girls - and a few boys - kept appearing with cameras and cellphones at the ready, or paper and pens and pictures of Wolfpack for us to sign. Finally I slipped away and made my way to the side of the stage where I had seen Jasper, brushing off the few other fans who approached me. I felt guilty for doing it, but I was beginning to feel sick with nerves and worry that he may have just left. He was still there, standing in a corner, his face miserable and his eyes downcast. He looked up just as I reached him.

"Hey, Jasper."

"Hey." He gave me a small smile.

"I didn't expect to see you here," I said.

"I wanted to see you." He glanced nervously around us at the crowds of people.

"Let's go to the dressing room," I said. "There's no one back there."

He nodded and began to follow me as I headed around the side of the stage. In less than a minute we were in the small room and I closed the door behind us, shutting out the noise from the club.

"I thought you were avoiding me," I began, shoving my hands into my pockets rather than wipe them again and show how nervous I was.

"I was." Jasper bit his lip and avoided my eyes. "I was too ashamed of myself to see you."

"You couldn't help the state you were in," I told him.

"I bit you!" he exclaimed and then groaned. "That's pretty unforgiveable, then I damned near wrecked the trunk of your car and finished off behaving like an addict desperate for a fix or something." He hung his head and it wasn't the first time I imagined he would have blushing if he had been capable of it. "I hate the way I am and I didn't want you to see me like that," he added.

"Well, I did and it doesn't matter. I'm still here, aren't I? Don't you think if any of that bothered me I would have stopped calling? I called every day, in case the Cullens didn't tell you."

"They told me. I just thought you'd be better off without me."

"I felt like hell without you," I blurted, stepping closer to him.

He took a step back and came up against the wall. I rested my hand on it to the side of his head and he was effectively trapped there. I couldn't figure what he actually wanted as he looked at me with sudden longing, but still seemed to be arguing with himself. I ducked my head a little, capturing his lips with mine and after a mere second or two's hesitation, I felt his response. His lips parted and caressed mine and I instantly thrust my tongue in, cupping his face with my free hand. He brought his hands up to my chest and slipped one inside my partly open shirt, his cold palm resting over my heart. I took my hand off of the wall and slid it behind him, pulling him forward against my body, but it was then that his hand braced itself against my chest and pushed me slowly away from him. Damnit, I hated that I was bigger than him, but he was so strong - stronger than me when I was in my human form.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Uh...there's something I have to tell you." He lowered his head so I couldn't see his face. Hell, what now, I thought.

"Sounds serious," I grunted.

"I did something that I feel really shitty about. I can't take it back and I know you'll hate it. As if I haven't fucked up enough already."

"What are you talking about?" I took a couple steps away from him so I could look at him easier, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. His gaze fixed on a point midway up my chest and he chewed his lip.

"I have this ability..."

I frowned. Most of the Cullens did, I realised; Alice had visions of the future and Edward read minds, for example.

"Go on," I prompted.

"It's pathokinesis. I..."

"What the hell is that?" I interrupted.

"It's a kind of advanced form of empathy. I can sense the feelings of others and change them."

"So why are you telling me this now? You used it on me?" I gave a half laugh, not sure whether to be pissed or amused. I was certainly anxious.

"Yes," Jasper gulped. "I just...I didn't mean to, but I regretted it ever since." He glanced at me nervously and continued in a rush. "When you first saw me, I hated what I was doing. I used my ability to make sure anyone that liked the look of me changed their minds about booking me for a private dance. When I saw you, you caught me off guard; you weren't leering at me; you looked like you could see how I was feeling and you felt sorry."

"I did," I put in.

"Then when you wanted me to talk instead of dance for you, I saw someone that could maybe help me. I don't know what I thought you could do, but you knew what I was and you didn't care. To have a wolf on my side, I saw as an advantage. You were confused about how you felt, but you wanted me and I made you feel more than you would have; I made you want to come back and when you did I added to it. I..."

My mind was reeling and I went cold inside. For a moment I thought I would throw up and then rage bubbled up inside me. He played me for a fool this whole time. Embry was right - he really saw me coming and took advantage of me being too fucking soft. I had thought at the time it was odd that I felt so much for him in such a short space of time and this was why. He had manipulated my mind and my heart.

"Why the hell would you do that, huh?" I demanded. "Fuck, I know _why_ you did it; you saw a way out of that shit hole you were working in. A poor disillusioned wolf with a fat wallet that you could manipulate to get what you wanted. You're right, I did feel sorry for you when I first saw you and I would have helped you without you pulling this shit, making me think you were interested in me!"

"That's not how it was!" Jasper cried. "I was - am - interested in you; more than that. When you took me to that coffee house, I realised then I fucked up. I saw how kind you were, how selfless and it was already too late for me to take it back. There hasn't been a minute go by since that I haven't beat myself up over it."

"You expect me to believe that? You're probably still doing it now!" I could feel sweat breaking out all over my body and I gripped the fronts of my shirt and tore them apart, shrugging the fabric off of my shoulders. Damnit, I hadn't phased in over four years and I didn't want to start now, but my wolf was awake, crouched and ready to spring.

"I'm not, I promise," Jasper said. "I wouldn't do that again."

"How am I supposed to trust anything you say?" I growled. The brief times I had spent with him were whirling through my mind in graphic detail - the first time we talked when Embry paid and I wouldn't let him dance; so shy and sweet it seemed; the next week when I went back a bundle of nerves, excited to see him, my fury at the fat guy for pawing at him; then the hours talking in the coffee house and later in the motel room, kissing and having him touch me. Even now in my rage I felt a slight movement in my pants at the memory of his cold hand stroking me, his lips on mine. All of that had been a lie, manipulated by him to get what he wanted and as if that wasn't enough he'd fed from me as well and I enjoyed it, thinking I was deranged when all the while he was no doubt making me feel like that.

"It's the truth," he said. "I never did it again. I haven't felt anything in a year since I was changed, except for self-hatred and shame. I didn't think I could feel anything, but you woke something in me. I have feelings for you, Jacob."

"Bullshit!" I clenched my fist and threw a punch at him, unable to stop myself. My knuckles slammed into the wall where his head had been, leaving a fist-sized dent and I spun around to find him behind me. "Don't fucking do that!" I yelled. "It creeps me out!"

"Please listen to me," Jasper begged. "I didn't have to tell you about this; I felt guilty and I couldn't live with it. Even after everything - the day you took me back to Forks - you still seemed to want me. I didn't want to keep anything from you any more."

"Well, now you told me. Get out of here," I panted, breathing deep and struggling to control myself. It crossed my mind that if I had Paul's temper there would have been a wolf and a vampire fighting in the dressing room by now. I backed away from him another few steps. "Get out of my sight. I don't trust you. I'll never be able to trust you. I don't fucking know whether what's in my head is real or not!"

"I'm sorry."

"What the hell is going on?" The door flew open and banged into the wall and Paul marched in. "I could hear you yelling down the corridor." He stopped and looked from me to Jasper and immediately his face contorted and he let out an almost inhuman snarl. "A fucking leech? What the hell, Jake? Why didn't you phase?" He kicked the door shut behind him. "It's only a little one, I can take him easy. Or do you want to share?" He peeled off his tank top.

"Paul, back down, he's one of the Cullens," I said, horrified. I was furious with Jasper right now and didn't want anything to do with him, but I didn't want to see Paul hurt him.

"Since when?" Paul demanded. "I've never seen him before."

"He's been there a week," I said.

"How do you know that?"

"I..." I didn't realise the door had opened again quietly until Embry spoke.

"He is one of the Cullens, Paul, I've seen him before," he said. "You wouldn't know if they adopted a whole army, you never go near them."

"Jesus," grumbled Paul. "You telling me I can't rip the little bloodsucker's head off?"

I jerked my head towards the door, a blur flashing past my eyes and an apparent gust of wind blowing my hair into my face. Jasper was gone.

"Shit," I muttered. _"Shit!"_

"Are you ok?" Embry asked and I shook my head.

"What I want to know is what the leech was doing in here," Paul said. "You obviously know him, Jake, the pair of you were going at it some."

I sighed heavily, feeling defeated. "Wouldn't you expect to me yell at a...a leech turning up in our dressing room?" There didn't seem much point making an effort to explain the situation. It was over.

"I'd do more than yell, that's for damn sure," growled Paul. "I'm going to help Jared and Seth load the drumkit up, we're about ready to leave. Em, bring my guitar, would you?"

"Sure." Embry nodded and waited until he had gone before turning to look at me. "Are you ok?" he asked again.

"Not really."

"What happened? You were fighting with him?"

"You were right, Em," I said bitterly. "He saw me coming. I feel like a complete jerk." My anger had abated, leaving me feeling hurt and cheated and I couldn't help wondering if that was Jasper's doing. I couldn't even trust my own feelings any more and it seemed like everything that had happened with him had been a lie. I didn't believe what he said about discovering he felt something for me - not one bit.

"What happened? Now he got a nice place to live he doesn't want you any more?"

"I doubt he's capable of feeling anything, he just manipulates people to get what he wants. I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled.

"Sure, ok. We better get out of here." Embry grabbed his bass and Paul's guitar and we set off outside.

I was glad to get home that night and for once none of the others stayed to hang out with me. I took a beer out of the refrigerator and threw myself onto the couch, deciding to have the one drink and then go to bed. Whether I would sleep or not was another matter. I was exhausted, angry, hurt and still wanting Jasper all at once. Damn him. I wouldn't have put it past him to be thinking about me right at that moment and fucking with my head.

I finished the beer, took a shower and went to bed, but I didn't sleep. I tossed and turned, my head a muddle. The thing that pissed me off the most about the situation was that I still wanted him. I only had to think about kissing him, feeling his hands on me and I found myself jacking off vigorously, which only served to anger me further. What kind of fool must I be to still want him this much after the way he had treated me?

The way I felt didn't improve over the next few days. I was busy with work, spending time with Dad and band rehearsals, but the damn guys kept on bringing up the subject of Jasper every chance they got. At least Paul did, outraged that a leech had showed its face at one of our shows and dared to get in the dressing room and pick a fight with me. He and Jared were both pissed about it and dying for an opportunity to run into him again, even though the treaty with the Cullens meant they couldn't really harm him.

I kept out of the conversation when they persistently dragged it up day after day. I know they must have thought I was odd for simply brushing the subject aside and a few times I noticed Embry and even Quil eyeing me with sympathy and they themselves kept out of it as much as possible. In a way I was glad things had turned out the way I had. I had known Paul and Jared would have a hard time accepting me wanting a vampire, but I supposed in my rose-tinted imagination I had eventually begun to think that they would initially rant about it and then drop it. Jasper hadn't been seen since the show and they hadn't let up in a week. If he was with me, I would never hear the end of it. However, hearing their tirade of disgust still didn't make me want him any less. Night after night I lay awake thinking about him, touching myself and imagining he was with me, tormenting myself by thinking about the way he manipulated me and cursing myself for being such a jerk. He had to still be interfering with my thoughts - I wasn't completely stupid. I wouldn't still want someone - have feelings for them - after they shit on me like that. It was Saturday morning when I decided to go and see him and tell him once and for all to keep the hell out of my life.

I didn't even tell Embry what I was doing - he would think I was insane and try to talk me out of it. I got in the Rabbit and drove over to the Cullens' place before I could change my mind. For once it was sunny and I doubted any of them would be outside. I parked right in front of the house steps, ran up them and hammered on the door with my fist. The door opened within seconds and much to my surprise it was Jasper himself who opened it. Rays of sunlight were falling on the front of the house through the trees and they caught his face, making it sparkle. I knew what his kind looked like in the sun, but I wasn't prepared to see him like that. He seemed beautiful and I simply stared, everything I intended to say sticking in my throat.

"Jacob," he said softly.

I pulled myself together and remembered why I was here. He was still fucking with me, making me feel things I wouldn't have normally, refusing to let me forget him. My hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat faster than even he could move. Maybe he just didn't see it coming.

"Get the fuck out of my head, Jasper!" I snarled at him.

"I don't know what you mean," he whispered, his throat constricted by my grip.

"Bullshit! You've been screwing with my mind all week!"

"I haven't. I promised I wouldn't do that again." He pried my fingers off his throat with both hands and stepped back out of the sunlight.

"And how am I supposed to believe anything you say, huh?" I growled. "For all I know that story you gave me about the loving family and being snatched away from it might have just been made up to make me feel even more sorry for you. You're probably a hundred years old and have killed thousands of people!"

Jasper actually looked hurt and I wondered if he had conjured up that expression just for me.

"Everything I told you was true," he said. "Every single thing. I never told you any lies, I just made you want me more than you would have. When I told you about it last week, I said I wouldn't manipulate you again and I haven't. Whatever you've been feeling the last week is all you."

"And what do you think I've been feeling?" I sighed.

"Anger...resentment...disgust probably," Jasper murmured.

"Yeah, so why do I still want you so damned much?" I blurted out. "It's not your doing?"

"No." He shook his head. "Do you believe me?"

"I don't know," I sighed. Damnit, I wished I could just switch off and be mad at him, but it was impossible. Even now, not sure if I could trust him or not, I wanted to pull him towards me and kiss him. "I want to," I admitted.

"When I said I had feelings for you, I meant it," Jasper said. "I knew telling you what I did would probably make you hate me and it hurt like hell. I don't know if you'll ever be able to give me another chance; I guess I don't really deserve one."

"I'm going to have to think about it," I told him. "The way I felt the last weeK - I thought it was you messing with me. If it wasn't, then I don't want to go on feeling like that and do nothing about it." I glanced past him as Emmett suddenly appeared from nowhere and headed towards us.

"What's going on?" he asked. "You alright, Jasper?"

"I'm fine, we're just talking," Jasper said without turning around.

"You better not lay a finger on him, mutt. Remember there are eight of us here."

"Yeah, good to see you too, Emmett," I snapped. "I'm going." I turned away and ran down the steps. I needed to get my head in order. I wanted to believe Jasper, but could I really trust him? Should I let myself get close to him again and believe that he wouldn't alter my emotions to suit himself?

"Jacob!"

I halted as Jasper appeared between me and the Rabbit, his face and hands sparkling in the sunlight, rays seeming to reflect back off of him.

"Damn you," I muttered.

"Sorry. Please just tell me, will I see you again?"

"Give me some time to think," I told him. "Come over to my place tomorrow night."

"But what about the other guys?" His eyes widened as he looked up at me.

"They won't be there." I'd make damned sure they weren't there.

"Alright. Thank you." He gave me a small smile.

"Don't thank me yet. And don't fucking interfere with what I'm thinking."

He shook his head quickly and stepped out of the way so I could get into the car. He was still standing there on the gravel when I drove away; I could see him sparkling in the rearview mirror and I determinedly ignored him. Now I just had to decide what I was going to do, although part of me knew already.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to everyone for your great reviews on this so far, I'm happy you're enjoying my venture into vamps.**

CHAPTER SEVEN

Sunday didn't go quite the way I hoped. We all went over to Jared's for rehearsal and later in the afternoon Paul began playing a new riff he had come up with and suggested we make efforts to develop it into a song. Jared and Quil were immediately keen and pretty soon Embry joined in and the four of them were jamming together. I was completely incapable of concentrating and certainly wasn't able to get any lyrics down. Jasper was constantly on my mind and I went over and over the conversations we had the previous day and at the show in Port Angeles. Could I really trust him? Was it worth giving him another chance when I didn't even know for sure that he wasn't still manipulating me? He had said he wasn't, but I still didn't know if I could believe it. I had to get away from the other guys for when Jasper came over and I used the excuse that I would do better writing on my own, taking off for home around six.

I wasn't sure what time to expect him and I took a shower, put on cargo pants and a tank-top and made myself some coffee, deciding to actually make an attempt to come up with at least a chorus for the new song. I did eventually get something down, but it sounded dark and angsty, the way I was feeling and after reading it through a few times I scrapped it.

Jasper arrived just before eight. At least I guessed it was him when I heard the quiet, almost timid tap on the door. If it had been any of the band, they would have just walked in. I pulled the door open and found him standing on the porch chewing his lip, looking like he may turn and flee at any moment.

"Come in," I said, my pulse quickening immediately.

Shit, my feelings weren't going to help me make the right decision, which I was still arguing with myself over. Right up until the moment he turned up at the door I had still been undecided, leaning more towards not seeing him again. I wanted to save myself more anxiety, more hurt and I didn't want to deal with having Jasper on one side of me and Wolfpack on the other. I doubted even Embry would support me after I had told him he was right and that Jasper had only been using me. He would think I was out of my mind. But now he was right in front of me I remembered the lap dance he gave me, the way he touched me, how it felt kissing him and the way we talked in the coffee house. He didn't know me when he manipulated my feelings and he hadn't had to confess to what he did either. He must have known I'd be mad as hell and probably turn away from him, but he still told me.

I realised he was standing a few feet inside the door, staring at me anxiously while I wrestled with my thoughts and I pulled myself together.

"Sorry, my head's a mess," I said. "I didn't really give you a chance yesterday, did I?"

"I guess I didn't expect you to," Jasper said softly. "I hardly expected you to thank me for telling you and say everything was alright. But I had to be honest even if it meant you wouldn't want to see me again."

I gestured for him to follow me and headed for the lounge, wiping my hands on my pants. Damnit, my palms were sweating and I was nervous as hell. I threw myself onto the couch and ran a hand through my hair. The back of my neck was so hot that my hair was damp and I told myself to get a grip and make a decision. Did I want him or not? Did I really want to tell him to fuck off? Never see him again? He was still on his feet, looking like he was waiting for permission to sit down, or perhaps simply unsure whether to sit on the couch with me or take a seat as far from me as he could get.

"Jasper, come here," I said, patting the seat next to me. He crossed the room and sat gingerly on the edge of the cushion beside me. "I still want to see you," I said. "I guess I just needed to get my head around everything and I was pissed. You didn't have to tell me what you did. All I could think at the time was that I would never be able to be with you and actually know that how I was feeling was real."

"I know. I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't say that again."

I lifted my hand and pressed my fingers to his lips - cool and soft just like I remembered. They parted and he lowered his head slightly, kissing my palm. I moved my hand from his mouth to the back of his neck and slid my fingers into his curls. He closed his eyes and raised his hands to rest them on my chest. He must have felt my already rapidly pounding heart speed up and I leaned closer, covering his mouth with mine. His parted lips caressed mine eagerly and when I plunged my tongue into his mouth, his own toyed with it, instantly arousing me. His arms crept around my neck and I gripped him by the waist, pulling him onto me so that he kneeled astride my thighs.

I was so hard I ached and I was glad of the loose cargo pants and lack of underwear. My cock strained upright against my stomach and as I wrapped both arms around Jasper, pulling him tighter to me, I felt his own erection nudging mine. I was tempted to pick him up and head straight for the bedroom, but I stayed where I was, reminding myself he hadn't done any of this before. God, I wanted him so much.

His lips left mine and he turned his face into my neck, his cool mouth touching my hot skin, his teeth grazing slightly, but not breaking the skin. I shuddered, part of me wishing he would bite, the thought of him feeding from me again disturbingly exciting. I slid my hands down to his butt and pulled him forward another inch, grinding myself against him, groaning as I felt his teeth nip carefully at my ear lobe. I took one hand off of him and pulled his shirt out of the back of his pants, slipping my fingers underneath to touch his cold marble-like skin.

"Fuck, I want you so bad," I moaned.

"Mmm," was his response, his mouth working its way down my neck again to the point where it joined my shoulder. He bit harder although his teeth still didn't go through the skin.

"Jake, what the fuck are you doing?"

My eyes flew open and I stared at Embry and Quil over Jasper's shoulder in horror. Jasper went rigid in my arms and lifted his head away from my neck. I took my hands off him and folded both arms around him instead.

"What's it look like?" I grunted, mortified on two counts. First I was caught in a clinch with a _guy_ and even though both of them knew I was gay, it was still embarrassing. Second, I was with Jasper, whom I had told Embry had fucked with me and Quil - well, he was just shocked that I would even look at a vampire.

"What the hell are you doing here, creeping up on me in my own fucking house?" I snapped to cover my discomfort.

"I should go," Jasper whispered. He was shivering and I ran one hand up his back, still holding him tight.

"It's alright," I said quietly. "I want you to stay. Just go upstairs, ok? My room's on the left." I released him from my arms and he sprang up and vanished in a flash. I couldn't help smirking and almost wished I could move as fast to escape the appalled gaze of my two friends.

"What?" I grunted. "I'm with someone I want in my own house; what's the problem?"

"Uh...well..." stuttered Quil. "I guess I didn't expect to walk in and see you virtually fucking a _leech."_

"I thought you ended it," put in Embry.

"Well, I was just thinking about things. I gave him another chance. So what do you want?"

"We changed the song around, we didn't want you to write a whole load of lyrics and then have to rewrite," Embry said, an anxious frown on his face now.

"Doesn't look like you've been doing much writing anyway," added Quil, his eyes still wide and shocked.

"I really don't want to do this now, ok? Can we not leave it until tomorrow's practise?"

"Jared and Paul are on the way," Quil said.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"Jesus, Jake, are you seriously putting a fucking _leech _before us?" retorted Quil.

"I'll call them and..." Embry began, but stopped as we heard my door open again and the heavy footsteps of Paul and Jared headed up the hallway. They burst into the room seconds later.

"Hey, Jake. Hope you didn't get much writing done, we changed it around."

"No, I've been busy," I said.

"He's got someone here," Quil said and Embry frowned at him.

"Oh, really?" Paul smirked now. "Don't tell me Jacob Black actually has a groupie here? We didn't get you out of bed, did we?"

"I wasn't in bed and no, it's not a groupie," I sighed, wondering how much to tell them. I doubted Embry and Quil would tell them the details if I didn't.

"Definitely not," muttered Quil and Embry elbowed him.

"Well, where is she? Aren't we going to get a peek?" grinned Paul.

"Ok, I am going to say this once and then we'll look at the song for _an hour _and then you can all leave me in peace," I said, summoning up some courage. "Em and Quil already know this. I'm seeing a guy. And no, you're not going to meet him right now."

"What the fuck?" blurted Paul. "You're a _fag ,_ Jake?" His face was completely shocked and if the situation wasn't so irritating and unwanted, I would have been tempted to laugh.

"I guess, if that's what you want to call it."

"But you fucked Bella," Paul said crudely.

"That was a very long time ago," I told him. "It's no big deal, alright? This is the twenty-first century..."

"Yeah, sorry, I just...can't believe it. I never would have had you down as gay. So who is he? Do we know him?"

"I am not going into this right now. Let's look at the song and then you can all get out of here," I said firmly. I eyed Jared and he just shrugged and gave me an embarrassed smile.

"Damnit," muttered Paul. "Do you two know who it is?" he directed at Em and Quil. They just shrugged, much to my relief.

"I'll be two minutes," I said and left them to it while I ran upstairs to find Jasper, hoping he hadn't just disappeared. He was sitting on my bed, picking at his fingernails nervously.

"Sorry, I should go," he said.

"I don't want you to go. They want me to go over a song they wrote; I'll be an hour. Please stay."

"Are you sure? What if one of them sees me?"

"They won't, just stay here."

I bent and gave him a quick kiss, then left the room and closed the door after me before running back downstairs. Quil and Embry were already playing something, but Paul and Jared were hovering.

"Have you got any beers?" Paul asked.

"I'm not bringing the beer out, I want you gone in an hour," I said. "I'll make coffee."

"He must really be something if you're that keen to get rid of us," he frowned.

"You have no idea," muttered Quil.

"Oh, you know? Well, come on then, spill," urged Paul.

"Jake can tell you when he's ready," Embry said.

I headed for the kitchen, wondering how wise it was to leave them alone. I wouldn't have put it past Paul to go upstairs to find out what I was hiding. I made coffee quickly and carried the mugs into the lounge on a tray, only to find that Paul was indeed missing.

"Where the fuck is he?" I demanded, dumping the tray on the table and slopping coffee over the sides of the mugs.

"He said he was going to the bathroom," Jared said.

"Right. Em, help me out here."

I ran out of the room and bounded up the stairs two at a time, my stomach a knot of panic. Before I was halfway up I heard the half human, half animal snarl which indicated Paul was seconds from phasing. My bedroom door was standing open and I skidded to a halt in the doorway. Jasper was backed into a corner of the room by the window and Paul stood shaking at the foot of my bed, his body beginning to blur as I looked at him.

"Paul, stop it!" I yelled.

He didn't look at me, but it was already too late. I backed away rapidly as he phased right there in my bedroom.

"Shit!" I heard Embry exclaim behind me.

Paul began to advance on Jasper slowly, stalking him, while the vampire stood unmoving, watching his approach. Damnit, they could end up killing each other and there was only one way I could stop it happening.

"Embry, get away from me," I said and watched my friend retreat to a safe distance halfway down the stairs again.

It was a long time since I had phased and I wasn't even sure I could still do it, but I guess seeing the boy I wanted and the most aggressive member of the pack facing each other made it happen. My pants and tank top exploded off of me into small fragments and I glanced down at my familiar russet coloured paws seconds later. My fur was shaggy as I had grown my hair out again since the pack had ceased to be active. I bounded into the bedroom and sprang up on the bed, turning to face Paul.

_"Back down__," _I told him.

_"Jake, don't be stupid, get out of the way. This is the same fucking leech that turned up at the show last week."_

_"Leave him alone, he's one of the Cullens," _I growled in my head.

_"No way, you think I'm letting him go? If this is who you're seeing, then you need help. Did he brainwash you? I know they can do weird mind-control shit."_

_"Paul, get out of here!" _I exclaimed.

The grey wolf ignored me and instead launched himself past me at Jasper, teeth bared, jaws wide. I leaped off the bed again and landed in front of him, my back to Jasper.

_"Give it up, Paul, I won't let you hurt him," _I said.

We were nose to nose and it wasn't the first time we had been in this situation. Paul had always been volatile and even when there was really no reason for him to lose it, he would work himself up into a state and start a fight. I supposed I could understand his perspective now, but even if I hadn't had feelings for Jasper, he was with the Cullens and breaking the treaty by attacking one of them would only bring trouble to our door, even years after the battles were over.

Paul growled deep in his throat and snapped at me.

_"Don't be a dick, you'll thank me when you get over whatever hold he has on you."_

I hesitated another moment. I really didn't want another fight with him, but he wasn't going to let it drop. I could see the images in his head - violent images of himself getting hold of Jasper, ripping his head from his body, following it up by tearing off each limb the way a child might pull the wings off of a fly. I sprang and hit Paul with my full weight, knocking him off his feet and rolling him on the bedroom floor. The room was nowhere near big enough to accommodate two fighting wolves and we smashed into the dresser, demolishing the piece of furniture and scattering items from the top in all directions.

"Holy shit," Embry said from the doorway.

Paul lurched to his feet, knocking me onto my back and pinning me there with both front paws heavy on my chest. I lunged upwards, trying to shake him off and snapping at his throat. My teeth caught him briefly, but the angle was wrong and I fell back beneath him, lashing out with my paws instead. One set of claws slashed across his chest, drawing blood and he pulled back, snarling and letting me up.

"Stop! For fuck's sake!" Quil yelled.

_"You're a fucking jerk, Jacob, letting a bloodsucker get between us," _Paul growled at me, backing away a few paces and readying himself to spring again.

_"This is my house," _I reminded him. _"What I do in it is my business and if I want to see Jasper, I will. Get out, or so help me, I'll make you get out."_

_"You're putting that thing before us? Your friends? Your pack?" _Paul retorted incredulously.

_"It's not like that. But I'm telling you, get out or I'll throw you out. It's up to me who I spend my time with and I won't let you hurt him."_

_"Fuck it." _To my surprise he backed away further. _"You're out of your mind," _he added and brushed past Embry and Quil as he headed out the door and bounded down the stairs.

"I'll...uh...make sure he can get out," Embry said and backed out of the room too, pulling the door closed behind him, leaving me alone with Jasper.

I sat down on my haunches, panting, still too tense to phase back. Jasper remained in the corner, eyeing me anxiously.

"I should go," he said after a moment and I shook my head vigorously. Shit, I really needed to be in my human form. I closed my eyes, put Paul out of my mind and did my best to think of something pleasant. Jasper, in my arms, kissing me, my hands on him, his teeth nipping at my neck.

It happened in such a rush it took my breath away and I found myself crouching naked at the foot of the bed, my cock half erect. I turned away and scrambled up, pulling a pair of jeans out of my cloest quickly and dragging them on. As I did so I heard Embry ushering the others outside and closing the front door after them. Thank God.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted him not to come up here. He knew I had someone here." I went over to him and drew him out of the corner. "Why didn't you fight him?"

"He's your friend. I would have defended myself if I had to, but I already gave you enough shit without making you have to choose."

"Yeah, well I guess I just did choose," I said with a sigh. "I decided what I want. If they don't like it, then it's too bad. Are you sure you still want this though after what just happened?"

"I should probably not come here to your house, but yes, I want this," he said softly. "I want you." He placed his hands on my naked chest, one over my heart. "How could I not want you? I love your warmth, your heartbeat; I love that you still want me after the way I behaved towards you. I may not be living flesh, my own heart may not beat, but it doesn't stop me having feelings for you."

He pressed his mouth to my throat and kissed lightly. I tipped my head back and felt his teeth scrape across my skin, aware that as a wolf, in a way I was showing submission. The other guys would have been horrified and I grinned to myself and wrapped my arms around him. He lifted his head and looked up at me, his eyes swirling gold. I brushed my lips against his and stepped away, drawing him down onto the bed with me. He moulded himself to me and slid his arm around me, a cold hand coming to rest in the middle of my back. I cupped his face in my hand and kissed him again, more lingeringly, thrusting my tongue into his mouth and feeling instant movement in my pants as he responded.

I slid my hand from his cheek to his neck, found the top button of his shirt and unfastened it, then moved to the next. My knuckles brushed down the centre of his chest as I continued opening the shirt and he moaned softly into my mouth as the garment slid open completely and I placed a heated hand on his cold flesh. I pulled my lips away from his breathlessly and pressed my face into his neck, teasing him with tongue and teeth, still wondering why he didn't smell like a vampire to me. Maybe because I wanted him so much; who knew? My lips touched the hollow of his throat and then his chest; I circled a nipple with my tongue and then bit gently and he groaned aloud. He slid both hands into my hair, his fingertips stroking over my scalp and making me shiver.

I raised my head again and looked down at him, thinking that I had never been so turned on in my life; never wanted anyone this much; never felt this much. This time it felt like it was just me; I didn't feel like he had that strange pull over me which I now recognised as him manipulating me. This was different and I guessed I could trust him after all.

"Jas," I whispered.

His eyes opened slowly and met mine.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I'll stay," he said without hesitation.

I lowered my head again, captured his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged on it gently. I knew I was going to have some explaining to do the next day when I saw the guys again, but for now they could all go to hell. I was going to make the most of every minute until morning.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Jasper's lip slid from between my teeth and I thrust my tongue into his mouth. He moaned against my lips and I felt his nails dig into my back between my shoulder blades. I shifted my body slightly until it rested over his, pressing him into the mattress. He was as aroused as I was, his hard cock lying alongside mine as I ground myself against him. I couldn't wait to get rid of the two layers of pants between us, but I was still reluctant to rush things. The two guys I had been with before had both slept with others; Jasper hadn't and I didn't want to hurt him, if sex could even hurt a vampire.

His legs slid apart beneath me and his hands traced the contours of my back, one coming to rest on the waistband of my pants, the fingers slipping inside to touch my butt. I was probably worrying too much. I propped my weight up a little on one arm and reached between us, unfastening the cargo pants and letting my cock slide out. I drew my lips away from Jasper's and watched his face as I turned my attention to his zipper, drawing it down slowly. His lips were parted and he sank his teeth into the lower one, groaning as our erections touched, free of clothing. He wasn't wearing underwear either. I gyrated slightly, rubbing myself against him, shuddering as I felt the coolness of him on my heat. His cock felt even colder than the rest of him, but maybe it was just that the temperature of mine was higher than the rest of my body.

I turned onto my side, bringing him with me and slid my hands between us again, eager to touch him. As I curled my fingers around his shaft it pulsed eagerly in my hand and my heart rate sped up. He felt smooth as silk, but impossibly hard with it, almost like granite and I ran my hand over him, fascinated. He rolled his head back on the pillow and thrust himself urgently against my palm, his hand covering mine briefly and squeezing, encouraging me to tighten my fingers in an almost vice-like grip around him. I began to jack him off, maintaining the tight grip and leaning forward to kiss him again. He rested one hand over my heart, feeling the rapid and uneven beat, soft moans issuing from him into my mouth. I throbbed and ached, eager for the same treatment, but willing to wait until I had given him some pleasure first.

He came in just a few minutes, cold fluid spilling into my hand and spurting onto his stomach. I removed my hand reluctantly and slowed the kiss down, gasping for breath, continuing to tease his lips with mine as he moved his hand from my chest to my cock. He stroked the palm of his hand down my length and cupped my balls, squeezing lightly before he wrapped his fingers around me.

"Oh, God, yes," I heard myself groan, the words escaping me without any thought.

Jasper's hand moved up and down, rubbing and squeezing, his lips touching my neck below my ear where my pulse jumped rapidly. Then suddenly he jerked his head back and took his hand off of me again.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I can't do this right now." He rolled away from me and got to his feet, quickly fastening his pants. I groaned and sat up, grasping his hand before he could move further away.

"Hey, wait. I thought it was what you wanted." My voice wobbled in frustration and I had to force myself not to yank his hand downwards and hold it on me.

"It is, I just..." He avoided my eyes and stared longingly at the door.

"I can slow down," I said, letting go of him. I hadn't thought I had rushed things. He seemed to want it as much as I did and it wasn't as if he hadn't touched me before.

"It's not that. I...I'm..." He turned to look at me suddenly and his eyes were black, his expression the same as a wolf might wear when faced with a juicy steak. "I'm a danger to you. Your arousal has your blood racing, I can smell it, I have to get out of here." He jerked the door open and threw himself out of it. In a second he was gone.

"What the fuck?" I muttered.

I got to my feet and went to the open door. I could hear him pacing around the lounge and my blood boiled, from both desperate arousal and annoyance. I was tempted to run after him, but if he was always going to be running away from me, was there any point? I slammed the bedroom door closed instead and punched the wall beside it, leaning my head against the wood. How the hell was I supposed to be with him? I got horny and he wanted to feed from me? But it hadn't happened in the motel room - I didn't think. Damnit. I turned around and rested my back against the door. My cock twitched against my stomach and I glanced down at it in irritation. My balls ached and I automatically grasped myself, knowing I wouldn't calm down until I got myself off.

Maybe it was never going to work I thought, as I began to pump myself quickly. How could it when we couldn't be near each other without him freaking out over his lust for my blood? The guys were right. I was insane. More insane because as I closed my eyes and moved my hand faster, all I could think about was me lying on the bed with Jasper, his legs spread out under me, my cock plunging into the cold tightness of him, his body responding to every thrust and his teeth sinking into my neck, sucking my life force out of me while I came inside him.

"Jesus," I groaned, taking my hand off of myself. It was wet and sticky and the carpet in front of me was splattered with my fluid.

"I'm sorry," his voice said softly from the other side of the door. I froze and held my breath. Fuck, had he come back up and been listening to me?

"I really thought it could work. I'm scared of what I might do if we go any further with this," he said.

I grabbed my pants quickly and wiped my hand on them, dropping them over the small puddle on the carpet. Then I opened the door slowly and leaned on the jamb. I didn't know what to do for the best. Let him walk away like he was suggesting, even though his face said he didn't want to? I knew I didn't want him to. After all the trouble I went to getting him here, tormenting myself over whether I could trust him or not and even fighting Paul over it. No, I wasn't about to let him go. I reached out and tucked my fingers into his waistband, tugging him towards me and manoeuvring him between my body and the wall before I closed the door again.

"You have to get over thinking that everything you do or feel is going to shock me or make me hate you or whatever," I said.

"I could hurt you," he said with a sigh, avoiding my eyes.

"Like I said the first time I met you - I can hold my own. I want you and I want you to get this idea out of your head that you being yourself will come between us." I pulled my hand out of his waistband and cupped his chin, tipping his head back to make him look at me. His eyes were still jet black and he shivered and licked his lips.

"Please don't," he whispered.

"Stop it." I brushed my lips against his. "You said you want me - that you love the way I make you feel - so stop denying yourself this."

"But I'm a leech," he sighed, closing his eyes to avoid mine as I continued to grip his chin.

"Don't use that word. You're beautiful," I said. "And you drive me crazy. I can't think about anything else. Feel what you do to me." I released his chin and gripped one of his hands which had come to rest on my chest, pushing it lower to my cock. It hadn't even begun to soften and I still ached. I almost felt dizzy with desire and I held his hand on me, biting my lip as he stopped resisting and took hold of me, squeezing lightly. I took my own hand away and he began to rub slowly.

"You'll regret it, I know you will," he murmured.

"I won't. There's only one thing that's bothering you about this and it doesn't bother me. Not at all."

I hesitated a second, lust making my heart race, wondering whether I was really about to do what I'd been trying to force myself not to think about too much. I bit my lip again harder, tasting the coppery tang of blood immediately and I saw Jasper's nostrils flare. His eyes snapped open and fixed on my lower lip where I felt a hot droplet forming. His hand tightened on me and then his lips covered mine, tasting, his tongue sweeping over my lip, causing the small wound to tingle as he sucked on it, drawing out the tiny amount of fluid which could escape before it rapidly healed.

I turned my head to the side, brushing my hair off of my neck and tucking it behind my ear, leaning into him as I thrust myself more eagerly into his hand.

"You're crazy," he whimpered, his lips touching my hot skin.

"Yeah...about you," I panted.

He bit hard, his teeth cutting easily through my skin, his lips covering the wound efficiently before even a drop of blood spilled. I closed my eyes and held onto him, feeling that same curious sensation I had felt before, my heart seeming to pump my blood faster through my veins to bring it to the point in my neck from which he was drawing it. My cock throbbed in his hand and he simply gripped it tightly, no longer moving, making me ache and moan, longing for release and knowing I was going to get there anyway without him stimulating me any further.

It was probably less than thirty seconds before his mouth left my neck and before I even realised what he was about to do, he was on his knees and my cock was in his mouth, one hand wrapped firmly around the base and the other squeezing my balls. My legs trembled and I leaned my weight against the wall, sweat breaking out on my brow and down my spine. His mouth was warm from the heat of my blood and I wondered with a touch of fear if he would bite _there._

He didn't bite. He sucked and teased with his tongue and I came in seconds, spurting into his throat and he surprised me further by swallowing every drop. I sagged against the wall as he got to his feet, my body spent and my limbs weak and shaking, whether from blood loss or orgasm or a combination of the two, I wasn't sure. I stumbled over to the bed and sank into the middle of it, pulling Jasper down with me. Rather than struggle, he curled up at my side, one hand resting on my chest. I glanced at him and noticed his eyes were a deep gold once again, his face even showing a hint of colour.

"Do you get it now?" I asked softly. "You have nothing to be ashamed about with me. I knew what you were from the first time we met and all I've done over the past few weeks is want you more and more."

"Yeah," Jasper whispered. "I get it. I guess I just don't understand it. You _liked_ what I did. Aren't you worried I'll weaken you?"

"No, I'm a wolf, my blood regenerates fast, similar to how I heal, I guess," I told him.

"I still don't understand why we don't find each other's scent unappealing either," Jasper said. "Don't you think that's weird?"

"Maybe my Dad could explain that one, he knows just about everything there is to know about our history," I said. It wasn't something I had really dwelled on, but now he brought it up, I was fairly curious.

"Your Dad?" Jasper's eyes widened. "He'd be horrified!"

"He wouldn't, he knows about you already. It was him told me to come get you; he was tired of seeing me mope about wanting you and feeling like shit for letting you down when he was sick."

"Wow, as the father of a wolf I would have thought he'd have the same reaction as your friends." Jasper shuddered suddenly and I pulled him closer to me. "I don't want to come between you and them."

"You won't. Em and Quil will be fine and probably Jared eventually. Paul...well, he's Paul, he likes an excuse to fight. I won't let him near you again." I rolled over to face him and touched his shirt. "Stop talking for a minute and take these off."

Jasper smirked shyly and sat up and as he slowly removed his shirt I watched with interest, realising I hadn't actually seen him naked before. Although there was a faint flush to his face, the rest of him was as pale as ivory marble. His shirt fell to the floor and he unfastened his pants and I made no secret of the fact that I was staring at his slim figure, taking in toned arms and thighs, six-pack, considerably smaller than mine, soft light brown hair surrounding his cock, which was semi-hard as my eyes fell upon it.

"Stop looking," he grinned, half-turning away from me.

"I like looking. I told you, you're beautiful. Come here." As he kicked his shoes off and stepped out of his pants, I caught his hand and pulled him back onto the bed, scooping him into my arms. His pale skin was a stark contrast to the deep russet of mine and I ran my hand down his back as he lay facing me, resting it on his butt and holding him closer.

The coldness of him against my heated body made me shiver and I pressed against him, stroked my hand slowly up his spine again and slid my fingers into his hair, cradling the back of his head and bringing his lips to mine. I explored and tasted, my tongue teasing his, my hand roaming over his body, feeling the slight shivers under my touch, soft moans indicating he loved what I was doing. I backed away again, bending over him to nibble at his neck, my tongue dipping into the hollow of his throat and then heading lower over his chest. I captured the small hard nub of one nipple between my teeth and and bit gently, then harder until he groaned, his cock quivering against his stomach and leaking pre-cum. I wondered if he would taste different to a human and turned my attention to the other nipple, my eyes on his erection and my hand sliding between his thighs, pushing them apart and stroking upwards, tormenting him by not touching him.

"Please, Jacob," he moaned, squirming under me, his hands twisted into the sheet either side of him.

I shifted my position, grabbing the lube from the bed table nearby and pushing his legs further apart so I could kneel between them. Jasper's eyes were closed and I watched his neck arch back, his teeth sinking into his lip as I ran my thumb over the head of his cock, spreading the cool fluid seeping from the slit. I bent over him and repeated the movement with the tip of my tongue, then gripped him firmly in my hand and wrapped my lips around him. He did taste different - sweeter than I expected - and I quickly found I couldn't get enough. I squeezed my hand tighter around him to the point where if he were human, I would have been crushing him painfully and I dipped my head lower, taking more of him into my mouth and throat, my lips and tongue tugging at him.

"Oh, _fuck!"_ he hissed.

I let him slip from my mouth for a second. "You like that?"

"Don't _stop! _Please!" he whined.

Grinning, I drew him into my mouth again and continued sucking while I grabbed the lube with my free hand, flipped the cap open and deftly squeezed some onto my fingers. I peered up towards his face as best as I could with my lips still fastened around his cock, watching for a reaction as I stroked one slick finger over his tight, puckered hole, circling it repeatedly and pressing gently. My finger slid into him to the first knuckle and he groaned, lifting his hips and thrusting himself harder into my throat. I pushed my finger in deeper, as far as it would reach and slid it back and forth, moving my hand and mouth faster, drawing louder groans from Jasper. I added a second finger slowly, stretching him, longing to feel the tight muscles and slick coldness of him around my cock. If I hadn't already come twice in quick succession and been feeling faintly dizzy from blood loss, I would have struggled to stop myself removing my fingers and fucking him instead.

He came hard a moment later, his cock pulsing in my hand, spurting sweet cold fluid into my mouth and I swallowed, pulling my head back so that only an inch or two remained between my lips, sucking every last drop from him. Then I took my hands and mouth off of him slowly and sat up, moving back up the bed to rest beside him. He opened his eyes and met mine, his wide with surprise.

"I never imagined..." he murmured, turning towards me and pressing his face into my neck. I folded my arms around him immediately and held him.

"That felt amazing," he went on. "The warmth of your hands on me - in me - your mouth, so hot; your arms holding me. I don't want to lose this." He shivered and held on tighter to me and I brushed my lips against his cheek.

"You won't," I said. "I never felt this way about anybody. I'm falling for you, Jasper." The words spilled out of my mouth without me thinking about what I was saying, but I knew I meant every word. I never wanted to let him go.

"I already fell," he whispered.

I felt my face split into a wide smile at his words and my heart fluttered. Nothing else seemed to matter any more - the band, the Cullens, the problems that we were sure to encounter - Jasper was mine and nothing was going to make me let him go.

I opened my eyes hours later and realised it was morning. I was alone and I was immediately disappointed when I saw that Jasper's clothes were gone. I supposed I couldn't blame him - he probably got bored watching me sleep all night. I sat up slowly, yawning and dragging a hand through my hair, blinking, turning to look at the remains of the crushed dresser which I would need to sort out. It hadn't seemed important last night.

The broken remains were gone. Everything had been cleaned up and taken away and the contents of the dresser were stacked in neat piles on the floor by the wall. Jasper must have done it while I slept. Grinning, I got up and went to the bathroom, making use of the toilet and the shower before I began to hear sounds from downstairs and my nostrils twitched at the scent of bacon. He was cooking breakfast too? I pulled on a pair of shorts and headed downstairs.

"Jasper?" He was standing in front of the stove stirring eggs with one hand and flipping pancakes with the other. He glanced over his shoulder now and smiled.

"Morning."

I went to stand behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his cheek.

"You're making me breakfast?"

"I figured you'd be hungry."

"What about you?"

"Do I look hungry?" He turned golden eyes on me for a second before returning his attention to the food.

"No." I let go of him and leaned against the counter a few feet away. "How often do you have to feed?"

"About every two days. It depends how much energy I use up." He grabbed a plate from the counter and began filling it with bacon, eggs, mushrooms and a stack of pancakes.

"I want to know everything about you," I said. "I want to understand better."

Jasper smiled shyly and put the plate on the kitchen table.

"Maybe you should eat first, it might put you off your food."

"Don't be silly." I was starving, I realised. I couldn't imagine anything stopping me shovelling the delicious looking plateful down my neck at record speed. I sat down at the table and grabbed a fork. Jasper poured coffee from the jug which he had bubbling away in the corner and I watched in amusement as he added milk and sugar. "You know how I drink my coffee?"

"You ordered three in the coffee house," he reminded me. "Mochaccino. I don't forget much." He put the mug beside me and sat down opposite. "So what do you want to know?"

"Um..." What did I want to know about being a vampire? Everything. "How does it feel when you get...hungry?"

Jasper bit his lip and then grinned. "We call it thirsty. You know when you smell something cooking that you want to eat and your mouth waters? We get thirsty and we get flooded with venom. It burns the throat and the chest and it gets worse and eventually weakens us until we feed."

"Shit," I muttered around a mouthful of pancake. I remembered the state he had been in when I found him in his apartment and shuddered. It had been obvious he was suffering, but I hadn't known how much.

Jasper smiled. "Sure I'm not putting you off your food?"

"Are you kidding? Nothing puts me off my food." I reached across the table with my free hand and took his, squeezing it as I stabbed a forkful of bacon with the other. "How can you...feed without putting venom into what you're feeding from?"

"Swallow it first. It only transfers into the...uh...victim if we actively inject it into them. So don't worry, you aren't going to turn into a vampire any time soon."

"So you never fed from a human before?" I asked him.

"No." His eyes dropped away from mine and fixed on our joined hands instead. I raised them to my mouth and kissed his knuckles, then lowered them to the table again.

"What's with the eye colours?" I asked then. "I mean, I get that they go black when you're thirsty...but a few years ago when our pack was active an army of newborns attacked us and..."

"They had red eyes?" interrupted Jasper. "It's because they feed on human blood. The Cullen family and I have gold eyes because we feed on animal blood."

"So shouldn't you have red eyes after last night?" I grinned.

"I guess, but you're a wolf so maybe that's why."

"You saying I'm an animal?" I smirked, stabbing one mushroom after another until my fork held as many as would fit on the tines. He simply eyed the fork and giggled. "You seem happier," I commented.

"That's your doing. If you can sit there eating, listening to details of what I do and still want me, then I'm happy. You do still want me?"

"Of course I do," I said at once, squeezing his hand tighter. "You're all I want."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I didn't have to get to the garage right away that morning and after breakfast I offered to give Jasper a ride to the Cullens. He had said he should get back before too long, but it was pouring with rain outside.

"It's fine, I can get there in about a minute," he smiled.

"Yeah, but you'll be drenched. Wait while I get a shower and I'll drive you."

"Ok. Thank you."

I drove him there in the truck and immediately saw the curious faces of Alice and Rosalie appear at one of the windows. I didn't feel like hearing any more of Rosalie's insults and I said goodbye to him in the vehicle - a light kiss and a promise to call him later and then he was gone and I drove away.

I headed for the garage now and it was late afternoon when I finished up. I knew it was only a matter of time before the guys would descend on me so I delayed going home and went to visit Dad first.

"You look different today," he commented as soon as I sat down with him. "Happier."

I grinned. He knew part of what had been happening lately - that Jasper was with the Cullens, but hadn't wanted to see me. I hadn't said why - that was something I wouldn't admit to Dad as long as I lived if I could possibly avoid it. So far he was the only one who supported me and he would soon change his mind if I revealed that Jasper had manipulated me and fed from me. Instead I told him he was taking time to adjust to the fact that he actually had a family now and didn't have to hate himself any more. I knew I'd looked like hell during the past couple weeks and I'd avoided the subject after that as much as I could.

"Yeah, I spent some time with Jasper," I said. "He's much better now."

"That's good, I hated seeing you so sad and worried," Dad replied at once.

"There's still a big problem with the guys," I went on. "They all came over yesterday when Jasper was at my house. Embry and Quil will be ok when I talk to them and I guess Jared will. Paul...he phased and I had to do the same to stop him hurting Jasper. He knows he's with the Cullens, but it didn't make a lot of difference."

Dad's eyes widened and he frowned. "He's always been volatile. Have you talked to him?"

"Not yet, but I will be doing later."

"If Paul gives you trouble, talk to Sam," Dad said.

Sam Uley had been the original Alpha of our pack. He had been the first boy on the Reservation to phase roughly six years ago. Tough, strong and unforgiving he had led and trained the rest of us as we gradually followed him one after another - Jared, Paul, Em, me, Quil and finally Seth and his sister Leah. Sam had led us into battle with vampires more than once, until he was badly injured and then I had stepped into the breach. Sam had picked me, even above Jared who was his Beta and Paul had resented it constantly until we all stopped phasing a few months later. He blocked his thoughts from the rest of us pretty well, but occasionally he let slip that he hated taking orders from someone two months younger than him, someone whom he considered too friendly with everyone to be a serious leader and by far an inferior wolf to Sam. When the pack was no longer needed we hadn't spoken to each other for quite a while - not until the band got together and we needed a guitarist. Jared had dragged a reluctant Paul along to rehearsal and the pair of us had an awkward conversation which ended with us vowing to put the past behind us and grow up.

"Yeah, maybe that would work," I agreed. I couldn't quite imagine me going to see Sam and telling him I was dating a vampire, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that. He was bound to find out sooner or later about my situation however.

"There's something I'm curious about," I said, remembering telling Jasper I would ask Dad about our strange lack of scent recognition when it came to each other. "I don't know if you will have any idea about this, but I wouldn't know who else to ask, except maybe Carlisle."

"Go on," Dad prompted as I paused.

"We don't smell bad to each other. I mean, the first time I saw Jasper I didn't even realise what he was until Embry pointed it out. He doesn't smell like a vampire to me and he says I don't smell like..." I snorted slightly. "...wet dog."

Dad chuckled. "That expression goes back hundreds of years."

I waited while he took a drink from the bottle of beer he was holding. He usually had a story to tell, even if it couldn't answer my question.

"A long time ago - I'm going back to a time even before your great-grandfather's lifetime - there was of course a pack here and a coven of vampires near Forks. Not the Cullens you know now, but a different group. Carlisle was a newborn then and as the others gradually left or were killed, he carried on, making the coven his own. Anyway, that's nothing to do with the story.

"One of the pack came upon a female member of the coven in the forest, neither one realising what the other was at first. It seemed that their intense attraction to each other at their first meeting disguised their scents from each other. It was only when the female stepped into the sunlight that the wolf saw what she was, but by then he wanted her too much to turn away. The pair fell in love, despite considerable intervention from their respective pack and coven and eventually the two groups formed a truce, rather than drive the couple away."

"Wow," I put in. "Why have I never heard this story before?"

"I'm getting to that."

"Sorry," I whispered and shut my mouth. Dad didn't like interruptions when he was reciting one of the many stories he had told me and the other guys over the years.

"The wolf and the vampire had many happy years together, the wolf continuing to phase regularly so that he wouldn't age and leave his love behind. The rest of the pack grew old and the coven went on with a few changes. Then one day a rogue wolf wandered into the area and came upon the vampire girl in the forest. He was strong and powerful and although she fought with everything she had, she was killed, her body torn apart and later burned."

I gasped in shock at this part and held my breath as I waited to find out what happened next, imagining how I would feel if Jasper was torn apart and burned. My heart clenched and I gulped.

"The vampire's lover later came looking for her and found only ashes and the scent of her killer. He tracked down the rogue and the two wolves fought, the enemy becoming badly injured. No one knows what happened to him - whether he died or simply ran back to where he had come from. Alone, the bereft wolf mourned the vampire for a year before he realised he could never get over the loss. He threw himself off the cliffs in his wolf form and smashed his body on the rocks below."

"Shit!" I exclaimed, horrified.

"He died, of course. He was broken and bloody and his body didn't heal itself, either because he was too hurt or because he willed himself to give up. Harry and Old Quil and a few of the others know the story, but no one speaks of it. Suicide, you've no doubt heard, is forbidden among the Quileute nation - and by many other tribes too - so the wolf was never spoken of again. His story was passed down among elders, but he was remembered with shame."

"That's awful," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. "He must have been completely heartbroken to do that." I straightened up. "Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing? With Jasper?"

Dad shook his head. "I said before, if he's what you want - what makes you happy - then you shouldn't let what anybody else thinks spoil it for you. Paul and the others will come to accept it and if they don't, you just have to work out what's more important to you."

I sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking. After everything that had happened, I didn't want to let Jasper go, whatever problems it caused for me. I knew I had to have him, whatever the cost, and if Paul or any of the others didn't like it...well, fuck them. I smiled now.

"Thanks for telling me the story," I said. "I guess I better go now and talk to the guys."

"I'm sure they will come around," Dad repeated. "Even if it takes some time."

I wasn't so certain of that although I guessed Embry and Quil would support me at least. I decided to get the worst part of it out of the way first and drove over to Paul's house. I parked on his driveway behind his truck and as soon as I opened the door, the sound of a very loud guitar solo assaulted my ears through the open upstairs window. I wondered if his neighbours ever complained or simply suffered in silence rather than dare to risk his wrath. I smirked as I pushed the door open and went in.

"Paul!"

Of course he couldn't hear me above the deafening sound and I headed upstairs. His second bedroom was his practise room and the closed door felt as if it were vibrating when I touched it. I opened it and still he didn't notice my presence. He was standing in the middle of the room, his foot up on an amp, sweat soaking through the back of his t-shirt as he played. I waited for him to finish rather than go over and touch him. He hated being crept up on and would probably spin around and smash me in the head with his guitar.

The solo ended after another minute or so and he stopped to plug in an effects pedal.

"Paul!" I said loudly again. He turned around and then flicked a switch, silencing the hum of the amp.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About? Oh, let me guess. Your little leech."

"Don't be like this."

"Like what? Protective of the pack? Isn't that the point?" He put his guitar down with a bang. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You get involved with one of them, the whole fucking bunch are going to be swarming around the Res like they own the place and we won't be able to do a damned thing about it because of the treaty!" he raged.

"Would you calm down?" I sighed. "That's not going to happen. But I am entitled to see who I want and you have no right phasing in my house and threatening my...guest."

_"Guest!" _Paul spat. "Did you sleep with him?"

"That's none of your business." I knew I was going red and I cursed myself.

"It's everyone's business if you're going to fuck a leech and then let him spend the night. What happens if he gets hungry, huh? Don't you think a sleeping wolf would be a little hard to resist? You could wake up and be one of them, for God's sake!"

"That is not going to happen," I said firmly, ignoring the image of Jasper feeding from me, which forced its way into my head. "He's not a threat to me or any of you. We're not at war and if we were he and the rest of the Cullens would be on our side the way they were before. I'm not going to pull the Alpha card on you, Paul, but I will ask you to stay out of it. I like him and I'm going to continue seeing him, so you're just going to have to get used to it."

Paul glowered, but didn't respond for a moment.

"Well?" I prompted.

"This isn't like you."

"I didn't expect it to happen," I told him.

"No, I mean you saying 'I'm going to do this and fuck everybody else'. It's not you."

"I guess I never felt like this," I shrugged.

"I don't know, you were obsessed with Bella long enough," Paul said.

"Yeah and the minute I got my hands on her the novelty wore off."

Paul held his hands up as if to ward off anything else I might say. "Please. All I can think about right now is you with your hands on a leech - I don't know how you can stomach it. You're out of your mind and I'm sure the other guys think the same. But I won't try and attack him again. It'd only bring the rest of the fucking Cullens here on the warpath anyway."

"Well, that's all I want right now," I told him. "You don't have to be his friend, just leave him alone."

"Fine. Keep him out of my way."

"Then stay out of my house or call first!" I snapped and turned to leave. Damn Paul. I had known he would be like this, but it didn't make it any easier to take.

He didn't answer and I ran down the stairs and let myself out. I pulled my cellphone out and called Embry before I drove off, not wanting to head over to his place if he was already at mine, helping himself to my food as usual.

"I was just going to call you," he said. "Your truck's not on the drive, wondered where you were."

"You mean you're not raiding my refrigerator?" I grinned. "Come over if you want, I'm on the way now. I want to talk to you."

"I thought you might," Embry said. "See you in a few minutes."

Embry arrived on foot just as I pulled onto my own driveway and he followed me to the door.

"Jasper not here?" he asked.

"No. I was just over at Paul's."

"How'd that go?"

"Not well. Do you want a beer?"

"Sure."

I pulled some bottles out of the refrigerator and handed him one, then removed two large pizzas from the freezer and switched on the oven. I didn't even bother to ask Embry whether he wanted food, it was a foregone conclusion.

"That was pretty full on last night," he said now.

"Did you talk to Paul after you all left?" I asked.

"No. He didn't phase back while he was with us, he just flew off into the woods. We left him to cool down."

"He hasn't yet," I sighed. "I guess I didn't expect him to deal with this very well." I told him about the angry conversation with Paul and the decision to keep him and Jasper out of each other's way.

"What about you and Quil?" I asked. "Am I going to have to say the same to you? Call before you come over? Because I am going to keep seeing him and I don't want him feeling like he can't relax in my house."

"Look, you know what I think about him," Embry said. "All leeches are revolting, but if you like him, who am I to judge? So long as he doesn't go turning you into one of them. I guess if he's one of the Cullens though, that's not on the agenda."

"No. And Quil?"

"The same as me. He said he thinks you're nuts, but each to their own."

"Jared?"

"I don't know, he didn't say anything," Embry said. "He looked pretty shell-shocked. He just went home as far as I know."

"I better call him," I said.

Embry's cellphone bleeped and he pulled it out of his pocket. "No need, this is him." He began tapping out a message. "I'm telling him to come over."

Jared was of the same opinion as Paul, except that he was less vehement in expressing it. He thought I was insane and that the Cullens were fine while they were on their own land, but inviting one of them onto ours and giving him free reign while I slept was asking for trouble.

"What I do in my own house is my business," I told him with a sigh, shoving aside my half-eaten pizza. Embry absently reached over and grabbed a slice, despite still having some of his own left on his plate.

"Yeah, it is, but can you really trust him?" Jared asked.

"Jeez, give the guy a break," Embry mumbled around a mouthful of pepperoni. I glanced at him in surprise, as did Jared.

"Well, I'm sick of hearing it," went on Embry. "He seems harmless enough, Jared. First time I saw him he looked like he was frightened of his own shadow. Look at Edward and Bella, that worked, didn't it?"

"Edward turned her into one of them!" Jared exclaimed.

"It was her choice," I reminded him. "She begged him to do it and he put her off as long as he could."

"Yeah, I guess," Jared said doubtfully.

"Look, as I told Paul, I'm not going to stop seeing him so you're going to have to get used to it and if you don't want to run into him, call first."

"There's no need to be like that," Jared huffed, getting to his feet. "It's upto you what you do. I'm just concerned, that's all, and it seems to me like you're putting this vampire ahead of everyone else - ahead of everyone you grew up with - when you barely know anything about him. I never said I wouldn't accept it, only that I think you're nuts." He headed for the door. "Are we rehearsing tomorrow?"

"Yeah, usual time," I grunted.

Jared was gone a moment later, although Embry remained, still stuffing himself.

"God, Em, you are such a pig," I sighed.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

I grinned now. "I should say thanks to you. I know you don't like Jasper either, but you still stood up for us."

"Well, I'm not going to fight with you over it, nor will Quil. We're your best friends, you can't help who you fall for I guess. I still think you're insane."

"Are you going to meet him?" I asked suddenly.

"Who? Jasper? I already met him."

"No, you didn't, you saw him on a podium in a stupid outfit and you saw Paul about to attack him. That's it."

"Hell, Jake." Embry finally shoved his plate away, leaving nothing but a small peace of crust. "When?"

"Soon as I can get him over here. I don't want him to think all of you want to kill him." I didn't really think Embry would agree, but I figured it was worth a shot.

"Fine. But once he gets here, I'm not hanging around long."

I pulled out my cellphone and selected the Cullens' number from the list. I was going to have to do something about getting Jasper a cell of his own.

"Cullen Residence," Alice said a moment later.

"Hey, Alice, it's Jacob."

"I know," Alice said smugly and her voice went muffled as she apparently took the phone away from her ear. "Jasper! Lover-boy's on the phone!"

"Jesus," I muttered.

"Here he is," Alice's voice said loudly and then there was a rustling sound and Jasper came on the line.

"Jacob?"

"Hey. Do you want to come over?" I asked. Much as I wanted to say I missed him, I didn't really want to exchange pleasantries over the phone, well aware that Embry was just feet away from me and Alice was probably eavesdropping.

"Yes, I'd like that," Jasper said at once.

"Do you want me to come get you?"

"No, thank you, I'll make my own way," he said at once.

"Ok. See you soon." I hung up a moment later, wondering if I should have told him Embry was with me. Still, after the previous night's events he might well have made an excuse not to come over. I glanced at my wristwatch, wondering how long he would be.

"Maybe I should take off," Embry said, gathering up the plates and empty beer bottles and heading for the kitchen.

"You said you'd meet him," I protested.

"Yeah, but how long is he going to be? I got stuff to do."

"You never have stuff to do, Em, you're always here either rehearsing or eating my food," I pointed out. "I'll believe you have stuff to do when you get yourself a life."

"Fuck off," Embry snorted and then jumped at a knock on the door. He went to open it himself. "Probably Quil looking for me," he added. I followed him down the hall and I wasn't surprised when he pulled the door open to find Jasper on the other side of it.

"Shit!" Embry exclaimed, taking a step back.

I pushed past him quickly as Jasper also backed away.

"Jasper, come in," I urged.

"Yeah...uh...sorry...you got here awful fast, gave me a shock," Embry said.

Jasper gave him a small smile and stepped up onto the porch. I was lousy at introductions and this was probably the least comfortable one I'd had to undertake.

"Jasper, this is my best friend, Embry," I said. "Em, this is Jasper." I almost held my breath as the pair stared at each other. 'For God's sake, one of you, say something,' I thought.

"Jasper," Embry grunted eventually. Then much to my surprise, he reached out in an offer to shake hands. Jasper's eyes widened a touch and he glanced at me, then placed his hand in Embry's and shook.

"Hey, Embry," he said.

Embry pulled his hand free and I watched in amusement as he put it behind his back and shook it as if to shake the pain out of his crushed fingers.

"You know, you have me to thank for this jerk showing up at the Sun Lounge," he said with a sudden grin. "He doesn't go to places like that by choice as a rule."

"Nor do I," Jasper said lightly.

"Will you come in?" I repeated, reaching out to grab his hand and drawing him past Embry to my side.

"I'll leave you to it. I got..." Embry began.

"Stuff to do, yes, I know," I finished. "See you tomorrow." I closed the door after him and slid my arms around Jasper at once. "Embry's right, you got here awful fast."

"I guess I couldn't wait," Jasper smiled.

"Me neither." I lowered my lips to his and caressed them for a long moment. He felt so good, his mouth cool and sweet, cold hands sliding under my hair to the back of my neck. I held onto him for several long moments before I drew away and led him into the lounge. "I saw my Dad earlier," I said. "He told me a story from our history that explained more about us."

"A story? You mean about a wolf and a vampire?" Jasper asked curiously.

"Yeah." I sat down on the sofa, stretched my legs out along the cushions and pulled Jasper onto my lap. He snuggled against me and I held him close, idly stroking my hands over him as I began to talk.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

When I got to the part of the story where the wolf continued phasing so as not to age and leave the vampire behind, Jasper glanced up at me and met my eyes. I knew exactly what he was thinking because the same thought had crossed my own mind. Would I do the same thing? Allow everyone around me to go on living their lives until they died of old age, while I went on indefinitely as a young man? I couldn't answer - not yet, anyway. We had only known each other a few weeks and most of that time we had spent apart. One night together and I knew I was falling for him at lightning speed, but did I want to give up everything else in my life to be with him? If I didn't, what I had with him now was only temporary and I didn't like the idea of that one bit.

Jasper interrupted my thoughts by brushing his lips lightly against mine.

"What happened to them?" he asked.

I pulled myself together and continued with the story, feeling a lump in my throat as I came to the end. Jasper looked just as sad as I felt and pressed his face into my neck, holding on tighter to me.

"That's heartbreaking," he said softly.

"I know." I stroked one hand through his curls and kissed his ear.

"Do you know I haven't been able to cry for a year?" he murmured. "We aren't physically capable of it, although I probably felt like shedding a bucketload." He raised his head again. "Sorry, I sound pathetic."

"No, you don't. This was forced upon you. I'm sure the Cullens have told you their stories."

"Yes, all of them saved from a painful death by Carlisle, except for Bella who chose this. I'll never understand her if I live to be a thousand years old. Who would choose to go on forever like this?"

"I guess she loved Edward enough to want to stay with him," I said. "I can understand it more now I heard that story I just told you." I bit my tongue before I said any more. It would be so easy to say what I was thinking right at that moment, without giving myself enough time to consider how much it meant.

Instead I kissed him and as my tongue plunged into his mouth he slid his arms around me, shifting his position so that he kneeled astride me. I loved having him sit on me like that - it reminded me of that lap dance and I grew hard rapidly, my cock straining against the front of my pants and nudging Jasper's balls as he pressed himself against me. I ran my hands down his back to his butt and squeezed the hard flesh, wishing we were both naked at that moment. I ached for him and I could already feel a damp patch forming on my underwear.

Jasper continued kissing me, his tongue playing with mine while his hands roamed over my chest, unfastening the buttons of my shirt. He laid one hand over my heart and left it there while the other freed the top button of my pants and drew the zipper down. I groaned into his mouth as his knuckles brushed over my erection and he slid his hand into the opening in the front of my shorts, rubbed his palm up and down my length for a moment and then pulled me free of the clothing.

I guessed after the previous night we had spent together he had much more confidence in the fact that I wanted him and he continued rubbing me slowly, teasingly, as he removed his free hand from my chest and unfastened his own pants. Breathless, I pulled my mouth away from his, leaned forward slightly and shrugged out of my shirt, then quickly turned my attention to his, almost tearing off the buttons in my eagerness to remove it. He reluctantly took his hands off of us while I pushed his shirt down his arms, but when he reached down to grasp both our cocks again, I stopped him and placed his hands on my shoulders instead. The way things were going, it seemed like he wanted things to go further and the last thing I wanted was an awkward romp on the sofa. Besides, the lube was upstairs.

"Hold onto me," I grunted, tucking my hands under him and shuffling to the edge of the seat. I got to my feet, hoping my pants weren't going to fall down and trip me up as I carried Jasper, his legs wrapped around my waist, out of the room and up the stairs. We made it to my room without any mishap and I lowered him onto the bed, then stepped back and quickly removed the rest of my clothes, watching as he wriggled out of his pants and threw them off the bed towards the corner of the room.

When I joined him on the bed and kneeled over him, he spread his legs out either side of me and reached up to pull me onto him, clearly as eager as I was to feel our bodies together, the contrast in temperature just as much a turn on as the feel of our cocks touching. I lowered my weight onto him and shifted slightly, grinding myself against him. He thrust himself up against me, his nails digging into my back and much as I wanted to take my time over it, I knew I wasn't going to be able to wait long. I stretched one arm out towards the bed table and grabbed the lube, popping open the cap and coating my fingers in it, then lifted myself away from him a little and reached down. I teased him for a moment, stroking the tip of one slick finger over his tight hole, then pressed against it until it slid in to the second knuckle. He whimpered and squirmed against my hand and slowly I added a second finger. Considering it was only the second time I had done this he didn't appear to have any difficulty with it, but I still worried about actually fucking him, not wanting to ruin his first time.

Jasper appeared to have no such worries, his hands between us again, one wrapped around each of our erections, rubbing slowly and lightly which only served to torment me more and I groaned and swore under my breath.

"Please, Jacob, just fuck me. _Please!"_ he begged. His voice was husky with desire and my cock pulsed in his hand at the sound.

"I don't want to hurt you," I said, withdrawing my fingers slowly and reaching for the lube again. For about a second I considered opening the drawer to grab a condom, but decided it wasn't necessary. Embry's comment about Jasper possibly being 'riddled' was ridiculous - vampires didn't get diseases even if they had been with anyone before - and I wanted to feel everything.

"You won't." He opened his eyes and met mine. His were jet black pools, which only excited me more. "It takes a lot to hurt us and your cock certainly won't," he added.

I squeezed lube into my hand and he let go of me so I could coat myself quickly in the fluid. Of course I knew how difficult it was to hurt a vampire, but somehow I had thought this would be different. Now I guided myself to his entrance and pushed myself firmly against it. After a brief moment the head of my cock slid smoothly in and I stopped again, partly from habit and partly from the sudden shock of the cold tightness gripping me. I was at least a little used to his hands and mouth on me, but I still hadn't been prepared for this. I slid my hand under him, tilting his hips upwards and then drove myself deeper until I was in as far as I could go, the full length of my cock squeezed by tight ice-cold muscle. I shivered and goosebumps broke out on my back.

Jasper's head was rolled back on the pillow, a look of ecstacy on his face, his teeth nipping at his lower lip. I pulled back a few inches and then thrust forward, unable to suppress a loud groan.

"You feel amazing, so hot," Jasper sighed, pulling his legs up higher and crossing them behind my back, one arm holding me while he continued pumping his own cock slowly, the tip bumping against my stomach as I thrust into him.

I knew I wasn't going to last very long. The feeling was almost indescribable - cold slipperyness and the slight feeling of fear that if he were to squeeze just a little too much he could do me a serious injury. I looked down at his face, wanting to kiss him, but needing to draw as much air into my lungs as I could.

"Jas, look at me," I panted.

His eyes snapped open again and met mine, then drifted away from my face as he licked his lips. I knew he was looking at my neck, smelling my blood as my heart pounded and I immediately felt the build up of orgasm at the thought. He raised his head from the pillow and his lips touched my throat, his hand pushing my hair from my neck where it clung to the beads of sweat on my skin. His lips moved from my throat to my collar bone and then to my neck just below my ear.

"Oh, God," I whimpered, thrusting myself harder and deeper into him. I was so close and I could feel the wetness of pre-cum oozing from him onto my stomach as he neared completion too.

His teeth broke my skin, so gently that I barely felt it and he drew only a mouthful or two from me before I erupted, shooting my load into him and feeling the cold spurts of fluid from him on my hot flesh. He removed his mouth from my neck and I lowered my forehead onto the pillow next to him, my head spinning and my whole body shivering and weak. I withdrew slowly, reluctantly, and rolled off Jasper's body, resting on my side facing him. I forced my eyes open to meet his, expecting to meet his gaze, still black with thirst, but finding golden orbs looking back at me instead.

"They go black when I'm horny too," he said with a smile as if he had read my mind. "I just wanted to taste."

"Hell, Jasper," I groaned, still struggling to get my breath. "That was amazing."

"I know." He moved closer to me and I relished the cold feel of him against my over-heated body. "I'm never going to get enough of this," he murmured. "I can still feel your heat in me."

I brushed my lips against his lightly and then just held him for a while until my strength began to return. We made love again, more slowly this time although with no less intensity and then headed for the shower, taking our time washing each other before we returned to the bed.

I fell asleep with Jasper in my arms, expecting that I would wake to find him gone, but when I stirred briefly in the early hours of the morning he was still holding onto me, lying perfectly still with his eyes half closed and a smile on his lips.

"You're still here," I murmured sleepily.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'm going nowhere."

He was true to his word and when I woke properly just before seven, he was still lying in my arms, although the minute I moved he gave me a brief kiss and backed away from me.

"Hey, where are you going?" I protested.

"You have to get ready for work and I'm getting thirsty."

I noticed his eyes change colour a moment before he turned away and I lay watching as he pulled his clothes on, shot me another smile and then slipped out of the room.

"Wow," I said under my breath. I sat up slowly and caught sight of myself grinning foolishly in the mirror on the door of the wardrobe as I relived the previous night in my head, my cock rapidly stiffening at the thought of how incredible Jasper made me feel.

Tempted as I was to spend a few minutes getting myself off, I forced it out of my mind and hauled myself out of bed, found some clothes, then went to make breakfast. As I was eating, Embry called and I could only guess he planned to tease me about Jasper.

"What do you want this early?" I mumbled into the phone around a mouthful of bacon sandwich.

"Wondered if you had a good night," he sniggered.

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, I still think you're crazy, but as far as bloodsuckers go, he seems ok apart from the fact that he almost broke my hand."

"You shouldn't be such a wuss," I laughed. "Is that all you called for?"

"No. We have a show Friday at that club in Forks we played before. I know it's short notice, but they're in a mess; the manager is away sick and their booked band cancelled. Jared's cousin, who's the assistant bar manager there, is having to sort it out. He called Jared last night and asked if we could step in."

"Sure," I said at once. "I guess we better spend tonight putting a set list together."

"Paul and Jared did it last night," Embry told me. "We can just spend the rest of the week rehearsing."

I quickly saw the time I wanted to spend with Jasper disappearing, but the unexpected show was a good thing and perhaps he would come and watch. He said he had enjoyed seeing us perform in Port Angeles, even though things were difficult between us at the time. I called him as soon as I finished work to explain that I had to spend several hours rehearsing so the guys would be at my house until around midnight.

"I understand," Jasper said, sounding disappointed. Shit. Did he think I regretted what happened between us?

"I miss you already," I said. "Will you come see us perform?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"I'd love to. I should probably make my own way there though, right?"

"Um..." I felt pretty shitty about it, but apart from Embry, I knew the others would be horrified to have Jasper travel with us in one of the trucks.

"It's ok, Jacob, I know they're probably going to take some time to get used to me, if they ever do."

"Well, Embry's cool about you," I said. "I'll call you after we finish rehearsing."

I ended the call reluctantly and within half an hour, the guys were all over at my house and we were setting up to practise. Jared kept his drumkit at my place as his neighbours were too close for comfort and hated the noise he made.

"No leech lurking upstairs?" Paul sneered as he came in.

"Jesus, will you can it?" I snapped. "We're here to work, aren't we?"

"I hope so."

"If you don't want to be here, Paul, then fuck off. Just to clarify things, no, Jasper isn't here. I don't want him anywhere near you when you're behaving like such a dick."

"Well, maybe some of us think you're the dick!" he growled back and then glared at Embry. "At least those of us with any common sense!"

"What the fuck did I do?" demanded Embry.

"Guys!" Jared held up one hand in front of Paul's face and the other in my direction. "Look, maybe some of us don't think much to your choice, Jacob, but it's nothing to do with the band and Paul...keep your opinions to yourself and let's concentrate on the show, shall we?"

After the brief squabble things calmed down and we spent the next few hours rehearsing. The set list was more or less what we usually played, although Paul and Jared had stuck a couple of our older songs in there and decided on covers by Soundgarden and Puddle of Mudd for the encore. They weren't tunes I would have picked to perform, but I couldn't be bothered to start another argument and simply got on with it, using lyric sheets for the first couple of practises to remind myself. By the time the guys packed up and left just after midnight I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep. I grabbed a snack, showered and cleaned my teeth first and then called Jasper as I slid into bed. Tired and irritated, I just wanted to hear his voice.

The rest of the week passed in the same manner - work, rehearsals including bickering with Paul and phone calls to Jasper. I wanted to see him more than anything, but I was too exhausted and all I could think about at the end of each day was sleep. He said he understood, but I began to worry that part of him would still think I didn't want to see him and I looked forward to Friday more than I would normally have looked forward to a show, simply because I knew I would see him at last.

We took mine and Jared's trucks into Forks with the equipment. Embry and Seth travelled with me and much to my surprise, Seth was full of questions about Jasper. Unlike the others, he was fascinated. Of course he knew the Cullens a little from when we were all in the pack, but the fact that I was actually dating one of them intrigued him.

"What's it like kissing him?" he asked.

"Jesus, Seth, what do you want to know that for?" Embry muttered.

"I'm curious. The cold must give you goosebumps."

"Yeah, something like that," I snorted.

"Can I meet him?" Seth went on.

"Sure, he's going to be at the show," I told him, surprised and pleased.

"Well, shouldn't he be coming with us? I mean, I get that Paul and Jared aren't keen on him, but fuck them. He's your boyfriend, right? Embry and Quil don't care, do you Em?"

"Uh...no, not really," Embry said. "He seems nice enough. Just don't shake his hand, Seth, he's got a hell of a grip."

I grinned as I parked the truck behind the club. Maybe things were going to get better with regard to the other guys quicker than I could have hoped. So long as I took Paul out of the equation.

I didn't see Jasper until we got on stage. He sent me a text to say he had arrived and would watch from the side of the stage the way he had in Port Angeles. I wanted to ask him to come back stage and watch from the wings, but it would only cause friction and besides, he would get a lousy view. As soon as I got on stage I looked for him and during a few of the songs I found myself meeting his eyes and singing directly to him rather than to the audience. It helped me ignore the horde of screaming girls just below me although I knew I wasn't going to be able to escape some of them trying to grab a piece of me when we finished the show. The other guys loved the attention - the photographs, kisses, scraps of paper with phone numbers on pushed into their hands, invites back to a room or a car or even the rest rooms for a bit of fun. It only made me shudder and I had to ask myself why I chose to front a band when I disliked being in the limelight so much. Maybe at first when it had been little performances on the Res for a bunch of friends it hadn't mattered and when we all dreamed of the big time, pots of money, record deals and fast cars it hadn't mattered. Now when I thought about what moving on from these small clubs would really mean, I had huge doubts.

The final encore finished and we took off backstage, leaving Seth to do his stuff while we went to mingle. Paul and Jared immediately threw themselves into it with gusto and it was only minutes before Paul had some unknown girl in his arms. I let them take photographs as usual, but did my best to keep my distance. I could see Jasper a few yards away waiting for me and I couldn't wait to escape the half dozen girls surrounding me and get to him.

Finally most of them backed off except for one persistent blonde who just wasn't getting the message. She had squeezed her voluptuous frame into some microscopic dress, piled on makeup with a shovel and teased her hair to within an inch of its life and she seemed convinced I had been waiting my whole life just to meet her.

"My name's Jasmine," she purred. "Jacob and Jasmine would sound great together, don't you think? Let me take one more picture..." She pressed herself against me, her cheek close to mine and snapped us with her camera phone, then swiftly turned her head before I could get away and planted a kiss on my lips. I jerked back immediately.

"Back off, I'm not doing this," I said.

"Sorry, I guess you don't like all these people watching, let's go somewhere more private." She grabbed my hand now.

"Let's not."

"Aww, Jacob, loosen up a little..."

"No, you pay attention to what I'm saying!" I snapped. "I'm not doing this because I'm gay."

"What?" Her mouth dropped open and if I hadn't been so worked up it would have been funny.

"I said I'm gay and my boyfriend's waiting for me, so why don't you run off and join your friends and leave me alone." I turned away and walked briskly towards Jasper who was still watching, an anxious look on his face. I knew I was asking for trouble, for both myself and the band, but nothing could have stopped me at that moment. I slid my arms around him and held him tight against me, pressing my face into his neck.

"I'm so sorry, I fucking hate this," I groaned.

"I know, it's ok." He hugged me back briefly and then braced his hands against my chest and gently pushed me away a little. "Aren't you worried what people will think? There's a photographer ten feet away."

My stomach turned over uncomfortably and for a moment I panicked about what people would say about me, but then I thought, what the hell. What really matters here?

"They can think what they like," I said. "I love you, Jasper and I don't care who knows it." I pulled him close to me again, my arm around his waist and steered him away from the club and down the corridor towards the backstage area. The noise of the club immediately faded and I heaved a sigh of relief. We stepped into the dressing room and closed the door, finding the room empty. The others were obviously still busy being fawned over.

"You said you love me," Jasper said in wonder, his golden eyes meeting mine.

I grinned and pulled him against me, touching my lips lightly to his. "Want me to say it again? I love you. I want you. You're more important to me than anything."

"I love you too," Jasper murmured. "I just didn't think you would ever feel the same."

"I do," I whispered. I knew then I was going to stay with him, even though it would mean everyone else leaving me behind.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

A few minutes later the door burst open and Seth staggered in sideways with a drum under each arm. I let go of Jasper reluctantly and took one of the drums before Seth dropped it.

"Sorry to interrupt," he grinned and put down the other drum. He immediately stuck his hand out towards Jasper. "Hey, I'm Seth. You must be Jasper."

Jasper's eyes widened in momentary surprise and then he smiled back and shook Seth's hand, quite gently I noticed.

"Nice to meet you, Seth," he said.

"Thanks. You know, you should just ignore Paul and Jared - Paul especially. He's always been a bad-tempered jerk and he seems to forget Emmett saved his life in battle once. Any friend of Jake's is a friend of mine - he was like my hero when I was a kid." He glanced at me a touch sheepishly now and blushed. "You two look pretty cool together actually."

Jasper smiled and I grinned. "Where are the others?" I asked Seth.

"Still entertaining the groupies. Looks like it's going to be a long night. I better finish up." He opened the door again.

"We'll leave when you're done," I said decidedly. "Let the others squeeze in Jared's truck when they're ready."

Quil came in just as we were getting ready to leave. He hesitated in the doorway when he saw Jasper. I hadn't had much opportunity to talk to Quil about Jasper; not alone anyway although I guessed he and Embry had probably been gossiping. I knew he was of a similar opinion to Embry although I didn't know quite what to expect now he was face to face with my vampire.

"Quil, come in and meet Jasper," Seth urged.

"Yeah. Sure." Quil jammed his hands into his pockets, making it apparent that he didn't intend to shake hands, although he did meet Jasper's eyes and nod. "Hey," he said.

"Hey, Quil." Jasper gave him a hint of a smile and he responded with a slight twitch of his lips, which I supposed was better than nothing. I reached out and took Jasper's hand in mine.

"We're going to head back, Quil. Do you want to get a ride with us or are you waiting for the others?"

"I'll hang around," Quil said and grinned then. "There'll be plenty of room in the other truck, Paul just left with some chick."

We left Quil in the dressing room and I drove back to La Push, Seth and Jasper talking throughout the twenty minute journey. I smiled to myself as I listened to them. Seth had never been one to beat around the bush and asked Jasper how long he had been a vampire, how it happened and what it was like living with the Cullens and creepy Bella. I chuckled at that - Seth was sitting next to a vampire chattering as if to his best friend, but it was Bella who was the creepy one.

I dropped Seth off at the Clearwaters' house first and then drove back to mine. I had no need to ask if Jasper wanted to come back with me. The minute Seth was gone he scooted along the seat and snuggled against my side, one hand on my thigh as he kissed and nibbled my ear. By the time we reached the house I was hard and aching as Jasper's hand teased me and I remembered we still had to get the drumkit out of the truck and into the house.

"I need a shower too," I grimaced. I always sweated like a pig when I performed.

"You shower, I'll unload the truck," Jasper said, getting out of the vehicle.

"I can't let you do that," I protested.

"It'll take me less than five minutes. Do you really want to shift it all first and _then_ shower? Seems like an awful waste of time that could be better spent doing...something else."

He smirked now and began untying one of the ropes that held the tarp over the equipment. I went to him and slid my arms around him, pressing myself against his back and kissing his cheek.

"I love you," I whispered.

He stopped what he was doing and leaned against me for a moment. "I'll never get tired of hearing that. I keep thinking I'm dreaming."

"You can't be, you don't sleep," I said. "But I'll keep on telling you every day just in case. Can't you feel it, though, with your patho...thing?"

"Pathokinesis," Jasper giggled. "It's not automatic, I have to want to use it and after the way I fucked up at the beginning, it's staying well out of it where you're concerned." He pulled himself free of my arms and began unfastening another rope. "Let's get this done or we're going to end up giving your neighbours an eyeful."

I moved away reluctantly and went to unlock the door. By the time I pulled the key out, Jasper was waiting beside me with two drums. I left him to it and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I scrubbed myself vigorously, dried off as quickly as I could manage and cleaned my teeth. By the time I came out of the bathroom, Jasper was flying - literally - up my stairs. His arms slid around me faster than the eye could see and I found myself propelled through my bedroom door, my feet actually leaving the ground for a second before I landed on my back in the middle of the bed with Jasper's still clothed body resting on mine.

"Woah, you're pretty keen," I gasped.

"Are you complaining?"

"No. Get these clothes off."

The few days apart had only served to fuel our desire and we fell upon each other like starving animals, beginning with vigorous sex which made the end of the bed bang against the wall as if it meant to break through, and ended with slow and gentle love-making, another shower and then me sinking rapidly into a deep sleep with Jasper lying in my arms. When I woke in the morning to the sound of a fist hammering on my front door, Jasper was already out of the bed wearing his pants and fastening one of my shirts which was several sizes too big for him. His own had been ruined in our over-enthusiastic attempts to remove it the previous night.

"Who the hell is that?" I groaned, glancing at my wristwatch. It was eight-thirty.

"Paul," Jasper said. "He's pissed."

"He's always pissed," I sighed, hauling myself up, the erection I had woken with rapidly subsiding. I pulled on a pair of jeans and went downstairs, leaving Jasper in the bedroom. When I opened the door, Paul thrust a newspaper under my nose, its pages folded in such a way that the entertainment section was on the front.

"What the fuck is this?" he demanded.

"Good morning to you too," I grunted, snatching the paper out of his hand. He glowered, fists clenched, while I looked at the article.

_'Wolfpack Singer Gay?' _was the heading and I groaned inwardly and glanced at the accompanying picture. It showed Jasper's hands resting on my chest, an anxious look on his face while I held onto his waist. He had been protesting at the time that a photographer was nearby.

"Well?" prompted Paul.

"Shut up and let me read it."

"Isn't the title enough?" he growled. "What's wrong with you? You have to fuck a guy, can't you at least keep it behind closed doors? Now the whole fucking town's going to know we've got a fag for a singer!"

"I thought you didn't care that I'm gay," I bristled.

"I don't. But some of our fans will."

"Yeah, it really sounds like you don't care, Paul. What if this was you, huh? Would you want your life and your partner to be a secret?"

"It's not me, is it? Anyhow, no one cares if the guitar player is a fag so long as they can all fantasise about the singer."

"I never heard such a load of crap in my life!" I snapped. "And to be honest, I don't give a shit what people think. I'm sick to death of the whole fucking scene! You might like having a dozen girls throwing themselves at you the whole time, but I don't and it wouldn't make a difference if I was straight."

"Then what the fuck are you doing fronting a band?" snarled Paul. "We could really make a go of this, you know. Maybe get a record deal, tour the rest of the country, even abroad. Are you saying you don't want that?"

"No, I don't," I said firmly. "When we started this, it was just a bit of fun. I didn't even mind the club shows at first, but now...I just don't want it any more. It's not me."

"It's that fucking leech, isn't it?" Paul sneered suddenly. "It's all you can think about. You must be pretty deranged if you want to give up what we have to be with a walking corpse!"

I opened my mouth to shout something back at him, but the words stuck in my throat as Jasper appeared suddenly. One moment it was only Paul and I facing each other and the next, Jasper was there with his hand gripping Paul by the throat and pinning him to the house wall. His eyes were black and furious and Paul tried fruitlessly to pry the icy fingers off of him.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you can't think of anything nice to say you should keep your mouth shut?" Jasper said quietly and I stared at him in astonishment. This was a side to him I hadn't seen before. Paul choked and gasped and tried again to get himself free. Jasper let go of him and moved to my side, slipping his hand into mine.

"I think it's time you left," I said to Paul. "It's a shame we can't actually talk about things and figure out a way to get along, but that's your choice. I'll talk to the other guys about what we're going to do about the band, but from where I'm standing, either you leave or I do. It makes more sense for me to quit, since I'm not enjoying it anyway. Jared will let you know my decision."

"Sure, but take some time to think about it, don't throw it all away in the heat of the moment," Paul said more calmly. "Better you talk to Quil and Embry about this, they don't get worked up over stuff like me."

I didn't answer, the angry retort I had ready for whatever he might say forgotten in my surprise. I simply watched as he turned away slowly and walked off, then I drew Jasper back inside and closed the door.

"What the hell happened there?"

"I can't imagine. Maybe he thought he was going over the top," Jasper snickered.

"You altered his feelings?"

"He was being a jerk. He wanted to punch you and kill me."

I grinned. "He must be wondering why he suddenly backed down."

"So will you really leave the band?" Jasper asked me.

"Probably. I've been thinking about it for a while actually. I hate being in the limelight. Pretty weird for a singer, I know. I don't want to give up music though. Maybe I'll just do some solo stuff and keep it to the Reservation. We'll see. I need to talk to the other guys."

"May I see the newspaper article?" Jasper asked. "I'm just curious."

"Yeah, me too, actually." I led the way into the kitchen and spread the newspaper out on the counter. Jasper began to read and then laughed after a moment.

"..._pale and interesting companion...?"_ he read out loud.

I grinned and looked at the column myself.

_"Following local band Wolfpack's performance in the Capital Club last night, singer Jacob Black was seen in the arms of a guy. Coupled with the words of Wolfpack fan, Jasmine Taylor, who stated Jacob brushed her off earlier and advised he was 'gay and had a boyfriend', the picture above indicates that the La Push Reservation's singer does in fact bat for the other team. But who is his pale and interesting companion? The pair apparently left the premises shortly after being snapped by our photographer and other members of the band declined to comment."_

"I bet they didn't dare ask Paul," I grinned. "His fists would have answered the question." I couldn't be bothered to read the rest of the article, it was just garbage intended to sell copies.

"Does it bother you?" Jasper asked me.

"No. Let them say what they like. I did tell that girl I'm gay, you saw how persistent she was." I went to the refrigerator to find food and began making coffee, my stomach suddenly beginning to protest that it was too long since I filled it. It felt wrong not to offer Jasper anything and I still had to consciously remind myself that even asking if he wanted a coffee was ridiculous. I poured my own and turned to look at him, noticing his eyes hadn't returned to their usual colour after his altercation with Paul.

"You're thirsty," I said.

"I'm ok."

"Do you want a...um...a snack?" I suggested, wondering if that was the right thing to say or not.

Jasper licked his upper lip, but shook his head. "I should go home, I need to get some fresh clothes anyway. Besides, your friends are here."

"What? You can hear their thoughts or something?" I frowned.

"No, I can see them out the window," Jasper giggled, pointing. Embry and Quil could be seen turning off the street onto my driveway. "I'll get out of your way, you need to talk about the band anyway," he added.

"Will I see you later?" I grabbed his hand and tugged him towards me, sliding my arms around his waist.

"I hope so. Will you come over to the Cullens'? Carlisle said you can whenever you want."

"What about the others?" I asked.

"They're cool, it's only Rosalie who says anything; I guess she's our version of Paul. Shame she's with Emmett really, we could have tried hooking them up together." He giggled again.

"Yeah, Paul would love that. They'd fight like...vampire and dog," I smirked.

"Hey!" Embry appeared outside the window and knocked on the glass.

I let go of Jasper reluctantly and beckoned him and Quil to come in. Both of them spoke to Jasper briefly before he left and I was relieved that at least some of my friends were making an effort to accept him. I made them both some coffee and Embry began helping himself to my food as usual while the three of us talked about the article in the newspaper and the band.

"You know, I'm not sure that parading Jasper around in front of our fans is too smart," Quil said.

"That wasn't intentional, I was pissed at that girl, she wouldn't leave me alone," I told him. "But I wouldn't take back what I said, this is who I am and if people don't like it, it's too bad."

"I didn't say we cared that you said you're gay," Embry put in. "It's only Paul that went off."

"Yeah, he was here a few minutes ago," I grinned. "He calmed down pretty quick though, I think Jasper intimidated him."

Both their eyes widened and Embry laughed. I finished making breakfast and the three of us sat down to talk for a while. In the end I agreed to stick with the band at least for a few more weeks while enquiries were made for a new guy, rather than just leave them in the lurch, but my mind was made up and I didn't want to progress any further. Quil and Em were bitterly disappointed, but didn't try to change my mind when I explained how being on stage and being fawned over made me feel. As soon as we had decided what we were going to do, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me and I realised that the whole thing with Wolfpack had been bugging me a lot more than I realised and for a long time.

When the pair left I went to see Dad and told him of my decision. He was as supportive as always and told me I was right to leave the band if it was causing me stress and unhappiness. He had also seen the article in the paper and told me he was proud of me for being true to myself rather than go along with things for the sake of appearances, even though I had outed myself to the whole of Forks and La Push while doing so. He asked me to bring Jasper over to meet him too and actually joked about the writer's comment that he was 'pale and interesting'.

I went over to the Cullens' place in the afternoon. Rather than go over there in my customary t-shirt, I put on a proper shirt tucked into my black jeans, albeit it with a couple buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The Cullens always looked so damned immaculate and I hated feeling out of place. I drove over in the Rabbit and parked in front of the house. I didn't see anyone looking out at me and I ran up the steps and rang the doorbell. The door opened in a second to reveal a smiling Alice wearing a curious outfit like an artist's smock over leggings.

"Jacob! How nice! Do come in," she chirped and stood back to let me pass.

"Hello, Alice. Jasper asked me to come over," I said needlessly.

"I know, they're out, but they won't be long," she told me.

"They?"

"Jasper, Emmett, Edward and Carlisle. They went hunting earlier, it's just us girls here. Would you like coffee?"

"Don't go to any trouble," I protested as she led me towards the kitchen.

"Of course it's no trouble, we catered for Bella before she became one of us so you get the same treatment." She wrinkled her nose delicately. "Are you going to be one of us? You should, you know, then you wouldn't smell like dog any more."

"Well, thanks, Alice," I said with a grin. Even when she was being vaguely insulting she sounded friendly. "And no, I'm not turning vamp, I'm happy as a wolf, thanks all the same."

"Oh, well I guess it was worth a try. Don't you think Jasper will be disappointed?" She turned on the coffee percolator and took some fancy china mug out of a cupboard.

"Disappointed about what?" Jasper appeared suddenly and came to my side.

"That he won't change like Bella did," Alice finished.

"No, I love my wolf," Jasper smiled.

"Aww, it's love, is it? You know, you two are so sweet. Somehow you are perfect for each other." She clapped her hands together and I laughed softly.

"Ugh, I thought I could smell mutt," Rosalie sneered at that moment as she halted in the doorway. "I hope you're not staying long."

"Jeez, Rose, don't be so damned rude!" Emmett protested, moving her aside so he could get into the room. "Hey, Jacob."

"Hey." I nodded at him and accepted the coffee Alice passed to me. Rosalie left us and went upstairs and Alice led us into the lounge where Esme, Carlisle, Bella and Edward were all sitting. Edward was playing the piano and nodded at me briefly over his shoulder. I wouldn't have said the hour I spent with them was the most comfortable of my life, but at least all of them made an effort to make me welcome and I guessed it was the same for them as it was for me and my friends with Jasper. They were welcoming someone who was essentially the enemy for the sake of one of their family and it made me all the more grateful to Dad, Embry, Quil and Seth for their attitude towards Jasper.

Eventually some of the Cullens began to drift off to do their own things and Jasper took me up to his room. It was the first time I had been in any of the bedrooms and I was surprised there was no bed, even though I knew he didn't sleep. There was a sofa, however, a huge collection of music and books and a guitar standing in one corner.

"You play guitar?" I said in surprise.

"A little. I started learning when I was sixteen. I happened to mention it one day when I first arrived here and the next thing I knew there was a guitar in my room. Esme got it for me." He smiled happily. "It's almost like having a real mother again. A whole family."

"I'm glad I brought you here," I told him. "Even if I hadn't ended up being with you."

"Me too. You don't know how grateful I am." He plucked one of the guitar strings. "Do you play?"

"Yeah. I started off wanting to be a guitarist, but before we got Paul the others wanted me to sing. They thought I had the right image for a frontman. I'm not so sure about that though," I shrugged.

"Will you play me something?" Jasper asked, picking up the guitar.

"Sure." I took it from him and sat down on the sofa, wondering what to play. A cover or something of mine?

Jasper sat down at the other end of the sofa, cross-legged and facing me and I automatically checked the guitar was tuned, which it was, perfectly. Then I began playing a ballady type piece I had written one day that no one else had heard. It was something that didn't really suit Wolfpack and I had kept it to myself up to now. Jasper watched with a dreamy look on his face until I finished and put the instrument down and then he shuffled closer to me and kissed my cheek.

"That was amazing. You should write lyrics for it."

"I don't know that it was all that good," I said modestly. I always thought things I wrote were no better than average, no matter what anyone said to me.

"Well, then, you don't know your own talent," Jasper said. "I loved it and other people would too if you ever decided to let them hear it. If you're leaving the band and thinking of playing solo, maybe you could do this type of music."

"Yeah, I had considered it," I told him. "But on a very small scale; the last thing I want is even more attention."

"So long as you don't mind me heaping my attention on you," Jasper teased, his golden eyes sparkling. I slid my arms around him.

"If you didn't I'd want to know why." I gave him a light kiss and then after a second's hesitation deepened it. His cool lips on mine stirred me as usual and my heart began to race. His lips parted to admit my tongue and his arms slid around my neck. As my pants grew tight I had to tell myself that nothing was going to happen with seven other people in the house, but it didn't stop me devouring him and running my hands over his upper body. He moaned into my mouth and slid one hand inside my shirt and my previous thoughts were replaced by wondering if his door had a lock on it. But then a rather large passion killer in the form of Rosalie's piercing voice through the partly open door put paid to the images in my mind.

"Ugh, there's nothing worse than the smell of a horny dog!"


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Hell, Rosalie can be so bitchy," Jasper groaned, pulling away from me.

"It's ok, like you said, she's the Cullen family's version of Paul," I reminded him.

"Yeah, I guess. She doesn't normally say that much to me about you. I think Emmett makes her keep her mouth shut."

"Do you want to come back to my place?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?" Grinning, he got up quickly. With him standing right in front of me, my eyes were on a level with the bulge in his pants and I couldn't resist rubbing my hand over it. For a brief moment he thrust himself against my palm, but then backed away and shoved his hands into his pockets. "God, don't, we still have to walk through the house."

"You could always fly out the window," I smirked, getting to my feet. My jeans were equally tight and it was an uncomfortable few seconds as we said goodbye to Carlisle and Esme on our way out, hoping they wouldn't notice. Jasper of course looked as cool as a cucumber, but I was certain I was flushed and sweaty. It was a relief to get into the Rabbit and I started the engine and pulled away quickly.

As I steered the car down the Cullens' private driveway through the woods, Jasper reached out and rested his hand on my thigh, stroking slowly, his fingers dipping between my legs and nudging my balls.

"Fuck," I hissed through my teeth, my foot twitching on the gas pedal and making the car lurch. Jasper pulled my zipper down and slid his hand inside and I shifted my foot to the brake and pulled the car to the side of the driveway. There was no way we were going to make it back to my house. I lifted my butt off of the seat slightly and pulled my jeans down a few inches, freeing my aching cock and a moment later Jasper was bent over, his cold mouth sucking at me and his hand squeezing and rubbing rhythmically. My eagerness coupled with the slight worry that one of the Cullens may pass us and see had me erupting into Jasper's mouth in only a minute or two and I sighed with relief at the release.

"Feel better?" he murmured, straightening up.

"Mm, but I can't wait to get home and fuck you." I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips and tongue and lowered my hand to his lap to touch him. I let out a grunt of surprise when I encountered his cock already exposed and in his own hand and I covered his hand with mine, squeezing it harder around him. He leaned back against the car door and I pulled his hand off himself after a moment, replacing it with my own and my mouth and silently cursing the steering wheel for cramping my position. I really had to think about getting a bigger car.

Jasper barely lasted as long as I had, his sweet cold fluid filling my mouth rapidly, his hand in my hair as he thrust himself against the back of my throat. I raised my head and met his black eyes.

"You taste so good." I kissed him again so he could taste himself and then jerked away quickly as Emmett's car roared by, honking loudly.

Jasper giggled. "Good thing he didn't pass by a few seconds earlier."

"Uh, let's get home," I grunted, starting the engine again. "I want you in my bed."

We spent a good portion of the remainder of the day in bed. By the time we reached the house both of us were aching for more and I locked the door and hurried Jasper upstairs. We tore each other's clothes off, Jasper quite literally tearing off my jeans and fell upon each other, then afterwards lay cuddling and talking for a while until my stomach began to protest at its lack of sustenance. Jasper vanished in a second without bothering to dress and returned in minutes with a plateful of food for me and a bottle of beer. I tucked in, went to clean my teeth and then returned to the bed. With Jasper's cool hands stroking over my body I rapidly grew hard again and he kneeled astride me, riding me hard until both of us came once again. When he slid off me he snuggled against my side and I dozed a little until a movement disturbed me as he began to slip out of my arms.

"Hey, where are you going?" I murmured, but didn't wait for an answer when I saw the colour of his eyes. "Didn't you just go hunting this morning?"

"Yes, but I guess I used up a lot of energy," he said with a smirk.

"Don't go." I drew him closer to me again, tucking his face into my neck. He made a slight protest, but at the same time his lips glided over my skin longingly. I stroked my hand over his hair and closed my eyes.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too." His teeth broke gently through my skin and I breathed deep, feeling my heart beginning to race as he drank although it didn't arouse me this time. I would have been surprised if I still had the energy to get hard again, but instead the experience was sensual and intimate and when he drew his head away and rested it on my chest instead, we just lay in silence holding each other, me overwhelmed with how much I felt for him. If I hadn't already decided, that moment would have made up my mind to halt my aging to stay with him.

That evening Jared came over to talk to me about the band. He was just as disappointed as Embry and Quil that I had decided to leave, but he understood eventually. What he didn't understand was my attachment to Jasper and although he didn't say anything directly, he made it pretty clear by his expression that he didn't like the fact that the vampire was there with me while we talked, his hand in mine. He only mentioned it when I showed him out.

"Does he live here now?"

"No, but we spend a lot of time together."

"I don't get you, Jacob. Doesn't the smell of him offend you?"

"He doesn't smell like vampire to me and he says I don't smell like dog." I was tempted to tell him about the couple in history, but I held my tongue. Dad had told me that to explain my situation, but he hadn't intended for me to go blabbing to everyone about it, even though he hadn't asked me not to.

Jared left a moment later and told me he would come back the next day with his truck to collect his drum kit. They were going to set it up at Embry's house for the time being and I would still go over there to practise while they advertised for a singer.

On Sunday I took Jasper to meet Dad and it went much better than I could have hoped. Dad shook his hand and although he was finishing a mug of coffee himself, he didn't offer me one which would obviously have meant leaving Jasper out. Instead he talked about me and the band, asked Jasper about life at the Cullens' and told us something about the history of the Cullen family when Carlisle first took over. The family hadn't told Jasper this already and he was interested to hear some of his adoptive father's story. We stayed a couple hours and then went back to my place for a while before Jasper left to go hunting. Dad called me not long after he had gone.

"What did you think?" I asked, aware that I sounded like a kid wanting his parent's approval for a new date.

"He's a nice kid, for a vampire. Bring him over again some time, whenever you want."

"Really? Thanks, Dad!" I was beaming. I was glad Embry, Quil and Seth were ok about Jasper, but if they hadn't been, I wouldn't have been hugely upset. It was Dad's opinion that mattered and I was delighted that he didn't dislike him or disapprove of my choice.

The next few weeks were incredibly busy for me. Once work was done I was trying to divide my time between Dad, Jasper and the band and it became increasingly difficult to give as much attention to the former two as I wanted. However, they both knew my involvement with the band was coming to an end and demanded less of my time. I talked to Dad more on the phone and Jasper spent at least three or four nights of each week in my bed.

My first meeting with Paul after his arrival on my doorstep with the newspaper had been uncomfortable to say the least, but he kept calmer than I would have expected, probably because the others were all there too. He did go as far as to say that he hoped we could get over our differences and that I wouldn't regret my decision to leave the band. I explained my reasoning the same way I had to the others and although he didn't understand me not liking the attention, he accepted it. The others were obviously relieved after the pair of us managed to spend a few minutes talking without any raised voices.

Jared had run an advertisement in the local paper asking for a singer and we had perhaps a dozen responses. Eight of these sounded like they could be suitable and we invited each one to audition. It was a tedious process and only two of them seemed even remotely suitable although neither of those were quite right. Although Seth was only a tech guy, he hung out with the guys virtually all the time and was therefore present at the auditions too. I noticed him paying great attention to everything that went on and one day when I was giving him a ride home after we left Embry's, he revealed what was on his mind.

"I wish I could be the singer."

"I didn't know you sang, Seth," I said in surprise.

"Well, I only sing to my CDs at home. I drive Mom mad, she says." He grinned sheepishly. "I don't suppose I'm good enough for the band though. Anyway, the guys wouldn't want me."

"Why wouldn't they? Have you suggested it to any of them?"

Seth shook his head and blushed. "They'd think I'm stupid. I can hear Paul now. 'Fuck, Seth, since when could you sing?' They wouldn't take me seriously. I'm just the kid who's always hung around you guys."

"That's not true, Seth, you were a member of the pack and you're still one of us."

"Still, they wouldn't want me in the band."

"How do you know unless you ask? Look, why don't you sing something for me. I could put a word in for you."

"Oh, I couldn't," Seth protested, grinning shyly.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." I pulled the Rabbit over and shuffled through the CDs I kept in the car. "What do you want?"

"Nickelback. I have that album." He plucked 'Dark Horse' out of my hands and took the disc out of the case. "I play this a lot."

"Well, do 'If today was your last day'," I told him. "Remember me singing that a few weeks back?"

"Ok."

He put the disc into the player and selected the track, clearing his throat. When he started singing, the CD drowned out the sound of him and I turned it down. Then he stopped.

"This is stupid," he said. "I'm not really any good."

"Let me be the judge of that." I flicked the song back to the beginning. "Let's hear you this time. Shut your eyes and pretend I'm not here."

"Jake..."

"Get on with it," I said firmly.

Seth chewed his lip and sighed heavily, then closed his eyes. This time I could hear him. His voice was still a little too quiet and slightly shaky, obviously from nerves, but by the time he got to the chorus he was louder and more confident sounding. He was good - really good - and I could already imagine him performing with Wolfpack. He just needed to lose the shyness and believe in himself.

"It was shit, wasn't it?" he said when the song ended.

"Of course it wasn't shit. You're very good, Seth, you need to have more confidence in yourself."

"You really think that?" he beamed.

"Yeah and the others will too when they hear you."

"Oh, I couldn't sing in front of the other guys, they'll laugh," he protested.

"They will not laugh. You need to do it now before you can spend the whole night convincing yourself not to do it." I pulled my cellphone out and called Embry. "Em, is everyone still there?"

"Quil and Jared are, why?"

"Can you get Paul back? I got another audition for you."

"Who?" Embry demanded at once.

"Wait and see." I hung up and started the Rabbit again.

"This is a really bad idea," Seth protested. "They won't like me. Especially Paul, he thinks I'm just a stupid kid."

"He likes you a hell of a lot more than he likes me at the moment," I grinned.

"Well, maybe that's true," admitted Seth. "To be honest we're all getting pretty sick of hearing him rant about you and your leech. I really like Jasper, he might smell funny, but he's cool. Paul doesn't even know him, he just judges a book by its cover."

"Jasper's sister, Rosalie, is just the same," I said. "She calls me 'mutt'."

Seth laughed. "She hasn't changed then, I remember her calling us a pack of mutts before."

I continued talking about Jasper on the short journey back to Embry's, which effectively kept Seth's mind off of his impending audition. Once we were there, however, he began to chew his lip nervously, especially when Quil asked where the auditionee was just as Paul walked in again.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Seth said in a low voice.

"Pull yourself together, it'll be fine," I told him. "Guys, Seth is going to audition."

"What?" Jared said in surprise. "I didn't know you could sing, Seth."

Seth flushed vividly.

"He's great," I said. "I just heard him. Give him a shot. He just needs to work on the confidence a bit." I gave Seth's shoulder a squeeze and threw myself onto the couch to observe. At my suggestion, the band began to play the Nickelback song again and after one false start, Seth closed his eyes and sang. As in the car, the first verse was a little shaky, but then he got into it and through the mike his voice sounded pretty impressive. When the song ended he put the mike down, his face red, and backed towards the door.

"Um...I'm just going to go now."

"Stay where you are, Seth, at least wait to see what we think," Embry told him.

"You know, you're pretty good," said Paul, much to my surprise. "It needs some work. I mean you need to lose the look on your face that says you're about to shit yourself."

"I thought I was about to shit myself," Seth replied, grinning suddenly.

"You'll get used to it, buddy," Quil said. "I was a nervous wreck the first few times I played with the guys."

"Get used to it?" echoed Seth. "So, you want me to do this again?"

"I think we found Wolfpack's new singer," Jared put in. "The other auditions were shit. They all _thought_ they could sing, but they're kidding themselves. No point being all confidence and no voice. You got the voice, we just have to work on the confidence."

"Wow, really? I'm in the band! Awesome!" Seth almost jumped up and down and then launched himself at me for a hug. "Thanks for giving me a go," he said. "I always wanted to sing."

"You should be thanking us, Seth, we're the band," Embry teased. "Jake, I hope you're not going to abandon us now."

"Of course not," I said at once. "I'll still be hanging out and coming to the shows. Just maybe not so much."

"Yeah, you'll be too busy with the leech," Paul sneered.

"Please, can you drop it?" Embry snapped. "We get that you don't like Jasper and you don't like the fact that Jacob wants to be with him, but it's all wearing a bit thin now. I wouldn't like it if I got a new girl and the rest of you hated her and kept telling me I was a jerk. Jasper seems like a nice enough guy, he can't help the fact that he's a vampire."

"It's a little different to not being able to help your colour or your family or some shit," grumbled Paul.

"Jasper's really nice, you should give him a chance," Seth said.

"For fuck's sake," Paul said under his breath. "You've been in the band like five minutes or something, you don't get a say."

"Of course he does. And they're right," Jared put in. "I don't like Jasper either - well, I don't like what he is. I don't know the guy and neither do you so isn't it about time we gave him a chance, rather than push away one of our best friends? Our pack leader?"

"Thanks, guys, but you don't need to do this," I said.

"Shit," muttered Paul. "Alright. One chance. I was going to ask you all over to my place Friday, watch a couple movies, order in pizza, have some beers. The usual stuff. Bring whoever you want." He eyed me when he said this. "If he gets hungry he'll be in trouble, that's all."

"Thirsty," I corrected. "And if he did, believe me, the last one he'd want to feed from is you, Paul, you might poison him."

Seth and Embry both burst out laughing at this and Quil punched me in the arm. I didn't really believe Paul would manage to be pleasant to Jasper, or intended to try, but I guessed it was worth a go. At least all of the others appeared to be on my side now and if Paul decided to be an ass, Jasper was quite capable of restraining him.

Jasper agreed with me when I told him. It was worth a shot and at least the others were much more accepting of him now. He was looking forward to seeing Seth in particular and was glad to hear he was now the band's new singer. So just before seven on Friday we drove over to Paul's in the Rabbit and squeezed onto the driveway behind Paul's truck and next to Jared's. Everyone else was already there, most of them with beers in their hands, and Paul was on the phone ordering pizzas.

"Any preference?" he mouthed at me.

"I don't care, I'll eat any."

"Come and sit here!" Seth exclaimed, patting the sofa cushions beside him. "Hey, Jasper!"

Jasper sat down next to Seth with me the other side of him. Someone passed me a beer and Paul stuck a DVD into the player and switched on the television. Apparently it was going to be a 'Fast and Furious' marathon judging by the pile of DVD cases on the floor in front of the unit. So far so good. Seth and Jasper were already chattering away like there was no tomorrow and I began to relax a touch. Perhaps it would all be ok and everyone would enjoy the night.

The pizzas arrived halfway through the movie and Paul spread out the boxes on the coffee table and any other available surfaces he could find. There were an assortment of deep pan and thin crispy pizzas with different toppings and a couple boxes of garlic bread with cheese. Everyone stuffed themselves except for Jasper of course and no one mentioned that except for Seth, who innocently asked if he missed eating pizza.

"Yes, actually I do," he smiled. "My favourite was Hawaiian."

Part way into 'Too Fast Too Furious', I got up to go to the bathroom and had to wait for Quil to come out. Meanwhile I glanced down the stairs as Embry and Seth headed for the kitchen with piles of plates and empty boxes in their hands. It all seemed to be going pretty well and no one, not even Paul, had said anything stupid to either Jasper or me.

"Come on, Quil, hurry up!" I called, knocking on the bathroom door. "Did you fall asleep in there?"

He opened the door. "Sorry."

He headed down the stairs and I took my turn and washed my hands. When I returned to the lounge I was horrified by the scene in front of me. Jasper had a bottle of beer in his hand and was beginning to drink from it, while Paul urged him to down it in one. Seth and Embry were watching somewhat anxiously while Jared just laughed.

"Jesus, Jasper, what are you doing?" I sat down next to him and he lowered the bottle. "You can't drink that."

"Don't be such a fucking spoilsport, Jake, let him enjoy himself," Paul said loudly. "You wanted us to get along, so we're getting along. Here, Jasper, have another." He thrust another bottle into Jasper's free hand.

"It's fine," Jasper said to me. "Don't worry about it."

"I am worried about it, how's it going to affect you?"

"It won't, I can't get drunk or anything," he said quietly.

"Jake, you need to loosen up, have this." Paul offered me another bottle, but I shook my head. Suddenly I didn't like the way things were going. I didn't know exactly what effect drinking beer would have on Jasper, but I was sure it wouldn't be good. I kept eyeing him anxiously as he continued sipping the second beer throughout the rest of the movie, but he seemed fine.

It was as the credits rolled and Paul pulled the third DVD out of its case, that Jasper suddenly jumped to his feet and vanished from the house in a flash. A second later he could be heard vomiting violently.

"Oh, shit!" Seth exclaimed.

Paul snorted with laughter. "Can't hold his drink. If you weren't such a party pooper, Jake, and let him enjoy himself more he'd be used to it and he wouldn't be puking his guts up now."

"You fucking idiot!" I snarled, standing up. "Hell knows what that shit is doing to him; he's a vampire in case you'd forgotten."

"How could we forget that?" sneered Paul. "Seems like he did though. Maybe he likes beer better than blood, huh?"

I stormed out of the house without replying and found Jasper in the yard leaning against the house wall, trembling and paler than I'd ever seen him if that were possible.

"God, Jasper," I groaned. "What did you do that for?"

"I'm sorry. It was stupid. I just wanted them to accept me." He choked and turned away from me to throw up again. When he straightened up he couldn't look at me. "I should go home. I'm so sorry. Don't look at me."

"I'll take you home. Come here." I caught his hand and pulled him towards the Rabbit. "It's ok, we all get sick sometimes."

"Yes, but I knew that would happen. I can't digest anything, not even liquid. I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not. But don't do anything like that again. Most of them are cool with you being around now and if Paul isn't, then fuck him." I pulled open the passenger side door of the car and he slid into the seat just as Seth and Embry came out.

"Is Jasper ok?" Seth asked worriedly.

"No thanks to Paul." I closed the door and walked around the other side. "It's not the fact that it was beer, but that he can't digest stuff. He knew it would make him sick, but it was more important that you all accept him."

"I'm sorry," Embry said. "Paul's a jerk. For what it's worth, Jasper's welcome around my place any time."

"I'd say mine too, but I don't think Leah would be keen," Seth grimaced. "But I'm his friend and if Paul does anything like that again I'll kick him in the nuts."

I grinned. "I don't think that'll be necessary, Seth, but thanks. See you soon, ok." I got into the Rabbit and started the engine.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said again.

"Don't be, it'll be ok. I think the rest of them are going to be pretty nice to you from now on."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I took Jasper home - not to the Cullens' as he requested, but to my place. He said he was fine now and that once anything ingested came out again there would be no problem, but I couldn't help worrying and I didn't want to leave him alone. Well, he wouldn't have been alone with all the Cullens around him, but I wanted him with _me_. He spent about fifteen minutes scrubbing his teeth over and over and then came to bed wearing one of my t-shirts, which reached mid-thigh and almost made him look like he was wearing a dress. For once sex was the last thing on my mind when I drew him into my arms and I simply cuddled and stroked him until I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes to daylight I was alone and my heart sank when I listened to the total silence in the house. He wasn't downstairs making me coffee or breakfast; he was gone.

"Jas," I muttered, rolling over and burying my face in the pillow. I wanted to go over to Paul's and punch him. I raised my head again as I felt something like paper on the pillow and found a note there, written in small neat letters.

'I am going hunting with the Cullens. I will see you tonight. I love you. Jasper.'

"Aww. He left a note," I said aloud and then felt my face flushing, even though no one was there to see it. I was going soft.

I grabbed my cellphone and tapped out a message quickly. 'See you later. I love you too. Jacob.' I knew he wouldn't see it right away if he was hunting, but he'd get it later.

I hauled myself out of bed and went to shower, wondering what to do with myself that day. A Saturday, which usually I would have been spending with the band or with Jasper, but they didn't need me any more now they had Seth and I sure as hell didn't want to run into Paul today. I would go see Dad for a while.

Just as I was leaving Jared called me and much to my surprise, asked me if Jasper was ok.

"Paul was a real jerk and I didn't help, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know it would affect him like that."

"He's fine, thanks for asking," I told him.

"I haven't exactly been very supportive the last few weeks," Jared went on. "I guess I thought it was some insane infatuation that was going to go away."

"Well, it's not," I said, glancing at the note again which I had put into my pocket and now pulled out again. "I love him."

"Yeah, well I get that now. So I'm sorry. I won't give you any more shit about him."

"Thanks," I told him. "What about Paul?"

"I think he needs more time."

"Huh, well I expected that. Rosalie Cullen is the same. The others are cool with me being around, but she's...like Paul." I chatted to him for a couple more minutes and then set off to see Dad. It was rare that I got time to spend more than an hour or two with him and today I took him into Forks to look around and then to Charlie Swan's to watch a ball game.

"No Jasper today?" Dad asked me as we drove home later.

"He's coming over later. He's doing stuff with the Cullens," I said. At that moment my phone beeped with a text and I pulled it out and checked it. It was from Jasper, asking if I was busy and if I wanted to come over. I tapped out a quick reply as I drove, telling him I would go over in an hour, which would give me time to drop off Dad and then go home to get a change of clothes. I knew I should just be myself, but I doubted I would ever be comfortable turning up at that huge house in my ripped jeans and tank top when they were all dressed in Gucci and Armani more often than not.

I was relieved to find that Emmett and Rosalie were out when I arrived and Edward and Bella were about to follow them, so the house was quiet and I wasn't expected to sit around with family the way I had before. I spent a few minutes talking to Carlisle and then Jasper and I went to his room to hang out and listen to music. When I left he came with me and spent the night.

The following weekend Jasper and I went to watch the band rehearse at Embry's house. For once Paul appeared to be in a relatively good humour, although he merely grunted a greeting at us and then kept out of our way. The others all treated Jasper the same way they did me, more or less - even Jared. Seth seemed to have settled into the band brilliantly and his confidence had come on in leaps and bounds. He already knew all our songs from years of watching us rehearse and perform and he was looking forward to their first show in a month's time. Coincidentally they were booked to play in a club in Clearwater, a small town some miles south of Forks. Jared told me that they had all decided it would make sense if I were to appear on stage one last time to in effect say goodbye to the band's fans and introduce Seth, which would hopefully result in them being welcoming towards him. For myself, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but there was no way I would refuse to do that for Seth and I agreed immediately. It would be five minutes on stage at most, it wouldn't kill me.

However, over the next few days things happened which took everyone's minds off of the band for the time being. I woke one morning to find Jasper sitting up next to me reading a text message on his phone, a worried look on his face.

"Jas? What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm not sure. Carlisle wants to see you. He says it's vital he talks to you as soon as possible."

"He doesn't say what it's about?" I sat up and rubbed my eyes, yawning.

"No."

"I don't have any jobs booked in this morning, we can go now," I said. "Tell him we'll be an hour, ok." I dropped a light kiss on the top of his head and went to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I dressed and made coffee and breakfast and we were in the Rabbit and on the way to the Cullens' forty minutes later.

When we walked into the house, voices could be heard coming from the rear lounge and Jasper led the way in. All of them were sitting there like a committee, except for Alice who appeared a moment later and passed me a cup of coffee. Jasper and I sat down on the long sofa and I took his hand in mine and squeezed it, earning a sneering glance from Rosalie who sat opposite.

"This all looks serious," I said in an attempt to lighten the mood. No one smiled and I wondered if they were going to make some kind of attempt to separate me from Jasper. I tightened my grip on his hand and waited for one of them to speak.

"We have a problem," Carlisle began.

"You're not kidding," muttered Rosalie, glaring at me.

"Rose!" Emmett hissed. "At least respect Carlisle if you can't do it for Jacob."

"Alright, that'll do, both of you," Esme said quietly.

"Alice had a vision last night," Carlisle said. "Things have been quiet here for a few years now and we've allowed ourselves to be lulled into the security of past history, which shows threats are separated by generations. Unfortunately that isn't the case here. There is a new threat in the form of a young redhead named Violet - Victoria's sister."

I gasped. "She had a sister?"

"Apparently. A human sister who has recently reached eighteen and sought out a vampire to change her in order for her to avenge her sister's death. She herself is a newborn and along with her maker, is rapidly amassing a newborn army to search for the coven and the pack which destroyed Victoria in 2006. So history repeats itself and I must ask you, Jacob, to reassemble your pack and stand with us again."

"Shit!" I exclaimed and then muttered a swift apology. "How long do we have?" I asked.

"One week."

Jasper's nails cut through the back of my hand and immediately several faces turned towards me, nostrils flared. Jasper snatched his hand away from mine.

"I'm so sorry," he groaned.

"It's alright, don't worry about it." I glanced at the small wounds as they quickly closed up and vanished. Rosalie actually licked her lips and then tried to pretend she hadn't even noticed. I smirked. Even she, who hated wolves so much, couldn't resist the smell of what was in my veins.

"Guys, please, can we be serious here?" Carlisle said sternly.

I straightened my face and took Jasper's hand again. "I'll talk to my guys today," I said. "Are you thinking of having some training fights as before?"

"Yes, beginning this evening," said Carlisle at once. "I think all of us will have grown a little rusty over the past few years and Jasper certainly needs to train."

"Do you want us to come in our wolf forms?" I asked.

"That would be best, since you'll be sparring that way. Edward, of course, can translate anything you have to say."

I cast my mind back to the training sessions we had before. Edward had read Sam's mind and communicated his thoughts to the rest of the Cullens. This time it would be me who took on that role. As Alpha it would be down to me to lead my pack into battle and I wondered whether Sam would be willing to join us again. He and Emily were married now and had two small children. I wondered if he would want to risk putting himself in danger, but knowing Sam, he would see it as a duty he couldn't shirk, no matter what the reason.

With it being a work day, it obviously wasn't possible for me to get the pack together right away for a meeting. Carlisle therefore suggested us all gathering at the Cullens' place at eight o'clock which would give me time to see them after work and I agreed at once. When I left, Jasper came with me.

"What was it like before?" he asked me. "Emmett and Edward told me what happened, but not much detail."

"It wasn't exactly a walk in the park," I said. "The good thing was that although there were a few injuries on our side, we didn't lose anybody. The newborns were strong, but reckless. They dived straight in with the intention of killing without any awareness of what was going on around them. With the strategy we had, we wiped them out; every last one."

"Edward said you got hurt," Jasper said worriedly.

"It was a just a few broken bones, that's all. Carlisle set them and they healed in hours."

"What if I'm not cut out of this?" he asked. "What if I let everyone down?"

"You won't, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for," I said firmly. I would have done anything to leave him at home where he would be safe, but that wasn't going to happen. The only thing to do was make sure he was well prepared.

When we arrived at my garage, I pulled out my phone and sent the same text to Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul, Jared, Leah and Sam, asking that they all come straight over to my shop as soon as they finished work as I had things to discuss with them. There had been two other young members of our pack - Brady and Collin - but they were out of state at university and I didn't have their numbers. Seth was in close touch with them and I would ask him later to contact them.

Now Embry and Seth both replied immediately, confirming they would see me later without question. Paul's response was, 'What the fuck for?'

I rolled my eyes as I tapped out a reply, 'Pack business.'

The others didn't answer, but when five-thirty came around, they all began arriving one at a time. Sam was the first in the door, since he worked from home not five minutes from my garage.

"Jacob," his deep voice rumbled. "We haven't spoken in a while. Good to see you."

"You too," I nodded.

Sam sniffed suddenly and his eyes swivelled to Jasper, widening slightly. He switched them back to me with a frown.

"A leech?"

"You haven't heard. Jas..."

I glanced at Jasper and he moved to my side.

"Sam Uley, this is Jasper...Cullen." I knew his name was Whitlock, but it saved a long explanation to Sam.

"A new member of their coven?" Sam said and stared harder at Jasper. "So this is pack business then."

"It is, but..." I licked my suddenly dry lips and swallowed. Even though Sam had stepped down and given me his role, he still intimidated me. "... Jasper's also my partner. Boyfriend."

Sam turned to look at me in disbelief and frowned deeper. "You _have_ made some changes. Interesting taste, Jacob. What do the other guys think?"

Before I could answer, Seth burst into the garage. "Hey, guys! Hey, Jasper, how are you? I haven't seen you for ages, when are you going to come over and hang out?"

"Well, I guess that answers that question," Sam muttered.

"Paul's opinion is a little different," I said wrily.

The others all arrived during the next fifteen minutes and all were delighted to see Sam. As soon as everyone was together, I wasted no time in relaying to them what Carlisle had told me and telling them that we needed to come together as a pack once again to protect the Reservation and fight with the Cullens.

"Great, just when I thought all this shit was over," Paul grumbled.

"You like fighting, Paul, so what's your problem?" Jared asked him.

"What's my problem? The fucking leeches are my problem. Yeah, I love killing the fuckers..." He glowered at Jasper as he said this. "...but I hate the taste of corpses."

"Well, you're going to have to overcome it, Paul!" I growled, summoning my Alpha from where he had lain dormant in me for the past few years. "You're part of the pack and you'll fight with the rest of us. Are we clear?"

"Yes. Perfectly," Paul said with a sigh.

Jasper glanced at me in surprise and smiled, but for once I ignored him.

"Carlisle has asked that we all go to the Cullens' place at eight o'clock tonight to begin training. We all need to brush up our skills after so long."

"I have a date," said Paul.

"You never have dates, you just screw," Quil put in.

"Cancel it," I told Paul.

Paul let out another heavier sigh, but pulled out his cell without a word and began typing a text message, presumably to cancel his date.

"Seth, we need Brady and Collin back here," I said. "Where are they?"

"Brady's in Seattle and Collin's in Portland."

"Ask them to come back. We need them here by tomorrow. That's it. Do whatever you have to do and I'll see you at the Cullens' at eight, wolf forms, please."

Most of them scattered, but Sam and Seth hung around for a while. They chatted together while Jasper and I moved to the other side of the garage. I drew him to me and kissed him, but when I stepped back I noticed a grimace on Sam's face. I left Jasper there and went over to him.

"Is your problem with Jasper or is it because I'm with a guy?" I asked him.

"Hell, Jacob, I don't care if you're gay," he said at once. "I just don't understand the attraction to the leech."

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to get used to it," I said. "I love him and I intend to be with him for a very long time."

"Until you get too old for him?" Seth said.

"Hm. Yeah," I responded casually. I wasn't about to tell them what I intended to do; not before I had even told Jasper. With everything else that had been happening I hadn't gotten around to it and I knew he thought about it. After the battle I would, if we all made it through.

"You should just keep phasing, then you can stay with him forever," Seth grinned and then glanced at his phone as it beeped. "Collin is getting in his car now to come back." He began typing again. "I'm telling him to come straight to my place when he gets here, even if it's late. Then me and Leah can fill him in on what happens tonight."

"That's great, Seth," I told him.

Jasper and I went back to my place briefly although we intended to head over to the Cullens' early. The last thing I wanted was Paul getting there before me and causing trouble.

"Are you going to phase before we leave?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, so I won't be able to communicate with you for the duration except when Edward translates." I slid my arms around him and gave him a warm kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, Jacob."

I backed off reluctantly and began to take my clothes off. We were in my lounge and I sat down on the floor in the middle of the room, telling Jasper to stand in the corner and keep well away from me. I visualised my wolf and in seconds I phased and landed on all four paws. Jasper came towards me at once and I dropped my head lower so that it was on a level with his.

"You're a stunning wolf," he said, reaching up to scratch my head. He stroked my ears and I let my eyes half close as I felt his cool touch through my fur. After a moment I pulled myself together, licked his hand and headed for the door. He slipped past me to open it and then ran at my side as I bounded towards the woods and made my way towards the Cullens'.

When we arrived Carlisle and Edward came out immediately and talked to Jasper while I sat on my haunches and listened. The others came out after a few minutes almost at the same time as the other wolves began to emerge from the trees. Carlisle instructed on the training session and the wolves watched while the vampires took turns sparring with each other. I could feel the nervousness radiating from Jasper as he faced Edward, but he quickly proved to be an astonishingly fast and strong opponent. The only one stronger appeared to be Emmett and I was disappointed that I would have to wait until much later to tell him how impressed I was. Immediately my thoughts drifted to taking Jasper home later, kissing him and luckily before I got any further, a warning growl came from Paul and I shut my mind down in embarrassment.

"Shall I tell him that?" Edward asked, grinning over his shoulder at me. I shook my head vigorously and then winced as Edward's momentary lack of concentration finished with him being hurled against a tree by Emmett.

After perhaps a half hour of watching the vampires it was time for the wolves to join in. The Cullens took on the role of the enemy and our practise involved avoiding letting them get behind us and grab us around the ribs. I had forgotten just how fast vampires were when they were in fight mode and it took all of our energy and awareness to evade them. I worried briefly when Jasper partnered Paul in a sparring session, but I quickly realised I was worrying about nothing. Paul didn't have a hope in hell of catching Jasper and nor did the rest of us.

When it was all over, Jasper had a rather self-satisfied smile on his face after both Carlisle and Emmett praised him and we all left with the intention of reconvening the following night for more practise and to work out a strategy for when the attack came. Jasper and I left the other wolves and raced back to my house where I phased back quickly on the doorstep before stepping inside. Still naked, I grabbed Jasper in my arms and pulled him against me.

"You were amazing," I said. "Faster than any of them. Strong too. You'll be fine. Just don't get over-confident. Newborns are damned powerful."

"I know," he said. "You know, I never had a fight in my life. I suppose I had a pretty sheltered life before I was changed. Then that year before you found me, I felt like I had nothing to live for, almost like I was stuck in purgatory. I didn't tell you this before, but I spent quite a while trying to think up ways to end it."

"Jas..." I groaned, hugging him tighter. I hated thinking how miserable and desperate he must have been.

"Of course, there was no way I could have done it. I thought about drowning, cutting my wrists, taking an overdose, but all those are ridiculous for someone who's already dead. I know fire would have done it, but I guess I didn't have the guts. Then I met you and everything changed. I have a whole family again and that makes me want to fight; for them and for you and your friends."

"I'm not a fighter either," I said. "I've never been one to solve things with my fists the way Paul tries to. But becoming a wolf makes you protective - of your family, of the pack and of you now. I wasn't going to say anything about this yet, but I don't know why I was putting it off really. I've known for weeks what I want. When all of this is over, I'm staying with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm going to keep on phasing, like the wolf in that story. I don't want to age and leave you behind."

Jasper's eyes widened and his face softened. "But what about your Dad? Your friends?"

"Dad will leave me anyway, in a few years. There's nothing I can do about that and I know he'll understand. The guys will too and if they don't it's too bad. You're more important. You're my life now, whether it's a year or ten years or a hundred."

Jasper smiled adoringly at me. "After I heard that story, I imagined that for us, I just couldn't have expected you to let everyone else go on without you, for me."

"Well, that's what I'm going to do," I murmured.

"Then we have an even bigger reason to make sure we rip Violet and her army to pieces," Jasper said, suddenly fierce. "So we can be sure to get our eternity."


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I woke late the next morning, exhausted after the long day and the sparring session. I opened my eyes to the smell of coffee and bacon and a naked Jasper carrying a tray into the room. I hardly knew whether to feast on the breakfast or him first. However, he made the decision for me by handing me the tray and a kiss and then heading for the bathroom. I ate quickly, gulped the coffee and followed him. He was in the shower with the door closed and I took a pee, cleaned my teeth and went to join him.

"What the fuck!" I howled when I stepped under the ice cold water.

Cold showers or sea didn't bother me, but usually Jasper had the shower as hot as it would go, saying he like the feel of the heat, so the freezing cascade was unexpected. Now he laughed loudly and increased the temperature, then grabbed the shower gel and began to lather me in it. I quickly grew hard and he teased me mercilessly by carefully avoiding touching me. I growled in frustration and jerked him against me, gripping him tight, feeling his cold shaft throb against my hot one. For once I didn't want to take my time fooling about or making love slowly as we often did - I just wanted to fuck and so apparently, did he. I reached up to turn the water off and before I had chance to grab the lube we kept in the shower for exactly this purpose, Jasper was squeezing a generous amount into his hand, taking a step back and slicking it onto my length. He turned away from me then and rested his hands on the tiled wall, his legs spread. I guided the head of my cock into him, then gripped him by the hips and slid forward slowly and smoothly until I was buried balls deep in him, his muscles squeezing, his coldness making my spine quiver the way it always did.

"God, Jasper," I groaned. I slid one arm around him, pushing his hand off his own cock and grasping it myself, pressing my face into his neck, kissing and nibbling his hard flesh. I pulled my hips back, drawing myself almost all the way out of him and then plunging back in.

"Harder," he gasped.

I picked up speed, pounding myself into him harder and faster while I began jacking him off vigorously. After mere moments I could already feel the build up of orgasm and when I came, almost shouting my pleasure, Jasper erupted over my hand and the wall in front of him. I took my hand off him and wrapped both arms around him instead, kissing his neck, my cock gradually softening and slipping out of him.

"You were really loud," he said with a soft laugh.

I chuckled. "I blame you completely."

He turned around now and brushed his lips against mine. "I love you, Jacob."

"I love you too, baby." I reluctantly drew away from him and turned the water on again, quickly rinsed off and then stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. "What are you doing today?" I asked.

"Not much other than..." He pointed at his eyes which were shiny black.

"When you're done hunting, will you come over to the garage for a while?" I asked. "I can't promise it'll be much fun, but I just want you with me."

"I know." He stepped closer again and rested one hand over my heart for a second, his lips touching my neck. I heard him breathe in the scent of me and my cock twitched a little before he stepped back quickly and picked up a spare towel. "I won't be long."

We left the house together and Jasper shot away in the direction of the woods, while I took the truck and drove to the garage. It was only a few minutes' walk, but I never knew when I might need the vehicle to fetch parts or rescue someone who had broken down. When I pulled up on Dad's land, I could see Collin approaching on foot and I opened up and spent the first half hour talking to him. Seth and Leah had spent an hour with him the previous night, filling him in on Violet's army and our training and he told me Brady was on the way back from Seattle by train. Collin would go into Forks in a couple hours to fetch him from the station. We agreed to meet up at the Cullens' later and then Collin took himself off.

I carried out a service on a car and then Jasper arrived and spent the rest of the day with me. We went up to the house for a break to see Dad and I ate lunch, then with work light I locked up at four and we went home. Once again I phased before we went to the Cullens' and the evening passed in a similar way to the previous one.

The rest of the week followed the same pattern with Jasper spending most of the day with me at the garage and the nights in my arms. Every evening the pack and the coven assembled to practise for battle. All too quickly Saturday came and we had a brief meeting in the meadow in the afternoon for us to go over our strategy one last time. We had a pretty similar plan to the one used in the battle years before when we had successfully defeated Victoria and Riley and their army.

After one final short run through with everyone in the positions they would adopt the next day, the wolves scattered and Carlisle advised that the coven would be spending the evening hunting together to prepare for fighting. They wanted to be the strongest they could be and any risk of being thirsty would inhibit their ability to defeat the newborns, them having a strength advantage from the beginning. Jasper declined to go with them to hunt however, wanting to spend the last night with me, for which I was glad.

"I hunted this morning, I'm fine," he told the others.

He had actually fed from me while we made love, draining me in more ways than one and having to make me food just so I could get out of bed afterwards, but we weren't about to tell the others that. However, at that moment we were careless with our thoughts and Edward's eyes suddenly shot to me, then to Jasper and back again, a slight look of horror on his face, which he quickly suppressed. He didn't say anything until we were leaving although he glanced at me several times and then as we parted he stepped closer to whisper a few words into my ear as I passed him.

"It'll make him stronger."

On Sunday we rose at dawn. The pack all assembled at my house and tucked into the enormous breakfast Jasper prepared for everyone. Even Paul ate although he couldn't resist a few sneering comments as usual, which were quickly silenced by one or other of the guys. When we finished, we all phased and headed for the meadow where we met with the coven. Alice reported that the newborns were an hour away and Jasper stayed with me until the last possible minute. We couldn't talk to each other, but he sat on the ground while I lay on my belly beside him, my head resting in his lap as he stroked my ears. I could hear the thoughts of some of the others and couldn't help being amused.

_"Aww, too cute," _from Seth.

_"They've really got it bad," _from Embry.

_"Pathetic," _from Paul at which point Quil growled at him.

_"At least they have someone to love, Paul, you'll probably me fucking your way around Forks when you're fifty with no one giving a shit about you," _he said.

_"Fuck off, Quil, it's not like you have anything to boast about, you don't fuck or date much!"_

_"Guys," _ I protested without putting much effort into it. _"Let's not fight with each other, huh? We'll be having to do it soon enough."_

_"Sorry," _Quil responded.

_"I'm not sorry," _Paul grumbled. _"Fucking leeches."_

"Everyone..." Alice's voice interrupted at that moment. "We need to be ready. They're almost here."

Jasper and I rose to our feet quickly. He gave my muzzle one last stroke and I licked his hand before he left me to join his family in the treeline at the far end of the meadow. I led the wolves behind the outcrop of rocks where we had lain in wait before when Sam had led us into battle. The element of surprise had worked well before and I hoped history would repeat itself. We were strong and there were less of them than there had been previously so we had a good chance.

Out of sight and with our view blocked by boulders, we listened to fast light footsteps, shouts and yells and a moment later, thumps and screams as the newborns and the Cullens came together. A prickle of fear tingled down my spine at the thought of Jasper out there fighting. It wouldn't have been so bad if I could actually see him, but not knowing had my stomach in a knot of nerves. However, in just a few more seconds I would be able to see him.

_"Now!"_ I ordered. I sprang up onto the rocks, Paul, Jared and Embry alongside me and our paws pulled us over the top. Just as we were about to throw ourselves down onto the heads of the fighting vampires below us, a yelp from behind made us pause and I was torn between continuing with our plan of attack, or turning back. I quickly realised that some of the leeches had branched away from the main party and crept up behind us, the yelp from Collin indicating he had already been attacked.

_"Go back!" _ I instructed, horrified. We had to take care of our own first and much as every fibre of me wanted to get out there into the meadow and make sure Jasper was ok, this was more important. There were perhaps ten of them down there - one each. As soon as they were finished off, we could go back to the original plan.

Quil had already despatched Collin's attacker and the younger wolf seemed unharmed. Leah and Paul, both raging, launched themselves at the two largest newborns behind us and I pounced onto a young female. She couldn't have been more than fourteen and I hesitated for a fraction of a second before I thrust my head forward, sinking my teeth into her throat and tearing it out. Her head rolled back on her shoulders and slowly detached, then fell to the ground separated from her body. When I looked around me, the rest of the pack had made short work of the remainder except for one male which Sam was stalking.

_"Embry, get Sam's back. The rest of you, follow me," _I said and turned away quickly. The seven other wolves moved with me as one and in a moment we were launching ourselves into the main battle. My first thought was of Jasper again and even as I claimed my next victim, I was looking for him. I saw him almost immediately, just yards away, tossing a newborn to the ground. He slammed a boot down onto the back of its neck to pin it there, gripped both of its arms by the wrists and tore them out of the sockets before bending again, taking hold of the head and twisting it violently off of the neck. He was fine and he was doing a great job, a look of grim determination on his face. I stopped worrying so much and concentrated on killing as many as I could get my teeth into.

I didn't need to try keeping my eyes on the pack; they were scattered all around me, involved in their own individual battles with one or another of the newborns, but our mental links told me all of them were ok so far and Sam and Embry had joined the main battle now. I saw Sam go bounding past me before launching himself at a particularly large vampire, springing onto its back and throwing the pair of them to the ground. As his teeth sank into the back of its neck he was joined on either side by Seth and Collin who eagerly tore off an arm each.

It was then that a scream of pain filled my head and as I turned to look for the injured wolf, the rest of the pack's voices all came to me loudly with the same cry.

_"Leah!"_

_"Seth!" _I called. He sprang to my side and we ran to the fallen and human body of Leah some yards away, the remainder of the pack leaving us to it, knowing that allowing themselves to be distracted would be fatal.

Leah was curled on her side, one knee drawn up and her arm across her breasts to cover herself, even as she writhed in pain from a nasty leg break. The snapped shin bone was protruding through the skin and blood ran freely from the wound. The scent of her quickly brought two newborns rushing to us, with Quil and Jared hard on their heels. Seth stood over Leah while I turned to face the oncoming attack and helped the two brown wolves to remove the threat. The two then returned to the battle just as Carlisle appeared in front of us, pulling his shirt off.

"I'll need to reposition the bone and splint it before she starts to heal," he said, carefully putting his shirt on Leah and fastening the buttons. "Seth, phase back and help me."

_"Take care of her," _ I told the younger wolf, no longer required to stay now that both Seth and Carlisle were there. _"She'll be fine once Carlisle sees to the leg." _

Carlisle scooped Leah up in his arms and swiftly carried her to the truck he had arrived in, which held blankets, pants for the wolves should they be needed and most importantly, medical supplies. Seth bounded along with him and phased back once he reached the vehicle. I left them and threw myself back into the fight.

_"How is she?" _Sam's voice asked worriedly.

_"Compound fracture to her leg. She'll be fine," _I answered, even as a blood-curdling scream came from Leah, making the rest of the pack shudder. Sam whined painfully and I was reminded that even after all these years, he still had some feeling for her. Momentarily distracted, he didn't notice the redhead approaching him from behind and I guessed this must be Violet. She looked very like Victoria except for being more vividly red-haired and having startling turquoise eyes.

_"Sam, get it together!" _I growled. I glanced at him apologetically, still not feeling entirely comfortable about giving him orders. He spun around immediately and the two of us faced the young female together. She was small and slight and she moved with lightning speed, easily as fast as Jasper if not more so.

_"Shit!" _muttered Sam as she seemed to vanish and then reappear to my left. Of course she didn't just disappear into thin air and then materialise once again, but her movement from one place to the other was too fast for the eye to see.

Leah screamed again and Sam's head jerked to the side. In a second, Violet was on him, clinging to his back and trying to get her arms around his middle.

_"Sam, for fuck's sake!" _ I barked.

Sam's response was to roll, throwing himself hard onto his side and shifting onto his back, trapping the vampire beneath him briefly before he completed the roll and scrabbled to get his paws under him. She was still holding onto him with one hand, but the other had been shaken free. She let go completely now, leaped up into the air and was gone for a second before she landed right next to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing and compressing my throat before I could react. Sam launched himself towards us and his jaws clamped onto one of her arms, his teeth grazing my neck in the process.

_"Sorry,"_ he thought.

_"It's fine, get the bitch off of me," _I responded, beginning to choke. I lashed out at the newborn with my front paws, trying to claw at her, but she was at an angle and too close to me to be able to get at her. I heard the crunch of Sam's teeth crashing together and suddenly I could breathe as one arm fell away from me and landed on the grass at my feet. Shrieking in rage and pain, Violet released me completely and swung around, her remaining arm smashing into Sam's face, knocking him back. I raised a paw, extending it to its full length and raking my claws down her back, tearing open the sweater she wore and gouging deep into her hard flesh. Sam scrambled up again and snapped at her face, missing by inches. She jumped back, slower this time and I clawed her a second time, knocking her to the ground and holding her there like a bug on a pin, my paw in the middle of her back with a good portion of my weight over it, her legs and arm thrashing around as she struggled fruitlessly to get free. Sam ducked his head, bit into the back of her neck and effectively severed her head from her body. Just to be sure, we proceeded to tear off her other arm and both legs, aware that we were acting like schoolboys pulling the wings off of a fly, but unable to stop until the pieces of her were scattered around us.

I turned now and quickly surveyed the field, encouraged by the fact that perhaps only fifteen or so newborns were left. Even with Leah, Seth and Carlisle out of things, the numbers were pretty level. Everyone seemed to be holding their own although one or two were tiring. I noticed Brady struggling behind me as one of the enemy gripped him tight, attempting to get its arms around his ribs. He snapped helplessly over his shoulder, unable to reach the creature or to shake it off. I bounded forwards immediately and sank my teeth into the thing's shoulder, wrenching it away from Brady so vigorously that the shoulder simply crumbled and the arm fell to the ground. Now free, Brady spun around and bit into the newborn's face, finishing the job. I looked up for my next victim and caught sight of Jasper on the other side of the field fighting with a male. The enemy was built like Emmett and although Jasper's speed and strength worked in his favour up to a point, eventually his opponent got close enough to him to grab him by the head with both hands and my heart jumped into my mouth.

_"No!"_ I growled. I went to move forward, but suddenly I was hit in the side of the face by a steel fist and I felt my cheekbone crack. I ignored the sharp pain - something so small would heal in no time. Snarling, I turned towards my own attacker and despatched him with teeth and claws. When I turned to look for Jasper again, I was just in time to see the large male throw him up into the air, still gripping him by the head, and smash his body down onto a nearby boulder. He lay still and the male took a step backwards, leaving Jasper unmoving on the ground.

_"Jasper!"_ my mind screamed out and I broke away from the fight and raced towards him, launching myself at the newborn from yards away. My front paws struck him in the back, bearing him to the ground beneath me and I clamped my jaws around his head and viciously tore it from his neck in a single quick move before hurling it away to my left.

_"Fuck, Jacob, watch what you're doing!" _Paul's voice came at me from the direction I had tossed the head and a moment later he was springing at me, or so I thought. He barrelled towards me and leaped, but his momentum carried him over my back and into the newborn which I now realised had been about to grab me from behind. I hadn't paid any attention to what was behind me in my anguish over Jasper and my determination to destroy the one who had hurt him.

_"Thanks, Paul." _Now I turned back to look at my lover where he still lay motionless against the boulder. His face and neck were covered in what looked like black veins, some thick, some more like narrow tributories branching away. His beautiful skin appeared like cracked porcelain and his eyes were closed. There was nothing to indicate he was still with us and I whined in frustration. I couldn't check for a heartbeat or pulse or a breath. The only thing which would tell me he was alive, or at least still existing, was movement, but he made none.

_"Jasper!" _I howled, knowing he couldn't hear me.

"He's dead, mutt," Rosalie said from close by and I glanced up to find her glaring at me. "That poor kid wouldn't even have been here if it wasn't for you."

_"You fucking bitch!" _I snarled in my head, looking down at him again.

My vampire, the love of my life, the one I was going to give up everything for and remain twenty-one forever to be with. He still wasn't moving and the cracks in his face appeared to be widening, spreading. I watched in horror, almost expecting him to crumble into dust at any moment. I couldn't lose him, I just couldn't. I didn't know how I would bear it. He had become everything to me and I almost wished it was me lying there crushed, if only he would go on.

_"Jas," _I whined. _"Please..."_

_"Jacob," _Paul's voice rumbled, sounding more sympathetic than I would have expected. _"You have to get up and finish the fight. He's gone."_


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, or simply read and enjoyed. Sorry for the rather cruel cliffhanger, but here is the outcome at last :o)**

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"Jacob!" Edward yelled from across the field. His voice penetrated my pain where I had ignored Paul's demand that I get up and fight. "He's not gone, I can hear him! Give him blood!"

He wasn't gone? My heart almost leaped out of my chest and I lurched to my feet from my position lying beside Jasper's body. Godamnit, I needed to phase back and fast.

_"Paul, help me," _I thought.

_"What the fuck are you going to do?" _he asked warily.

_"Cover me. I have to do something to help him."_

_"He's dead, Jacob, there's nothing you can do."_

_"For once, shut the fuck up, Paul, and do as you're told!" _I roared. _"He's not dead! You heard Edward."_

_"Yeah, another leech. Come on, don't do anything stupid."_

_"Paul!" _I cried desperately.

_"Fine."_ He backed down and turned side on to me, keeping his eyes on both me and the remains of the battle as I crouched and willed myself to phase back. My wolf was in fight mode and he refused to go quietly. I could feel him battling with me for control.

_"Come on, come on," _I muttered, trying to still my anxiety and excitement which weren't allowing me to relax enough. _"Please..."_

Suddenly he gave in and subsided, leaving me kneeling naked on the ground and I looked around me quickly, trying to find something sharp but seeing only grass and twigs. Paul and Rosalie were both watching me, bemused, when my eyes suddenly landed on a discarded beer bottle, partly hidden by leaves. I was only glad I couldn't hear Paul's thoughts as I snatched it up and without hesitation, smashed it against a small rock, leaving myself with the top part gripped in my hand and a jagged weapon beneath. Paul growled behind me, but I ignored him, took a deep breath and slashed the glass across my left wrist, wincing at the sudden sharp pain. It cut much deeper than I expected and I dropped the bottle as a gush of blood began to fountain from the wound. I had hit the main artery.

Paul let out a horrified whimper and then sprang over me to stand between me and Rosalie as she took a step forwards. Ignoring the pair of them, I gripped my arm tightly above the wound, slowing the blood flow a little before I lowered it over Jasper's mouth. His lips were parted slightly and the blood ran between them and out of both corners, then down the sides of his neck.

"Come on, Jasper, drink," I urged.

Still he didn't move and for a long moment I thought Edward must have been wrong and that it was too late. My wound was healing and the blood flow was down to a trickle when suddenly I noticed a movement in his throat as he swallowed. The tip of his tongue emerged between his lips and licked the blood from the corners of his mouth and his eyes opened slowly, jet black.

"Jas! Thank God!" I gasped.

He gulped and I pinched my wrist hard, squeezing more blood from it before it healed completely. Studying his face, I noticed the cracked appearance lessening a little, the smaller ones disappearing and the larger ones narrowing. I slid my arm carefully under his shoulders and lifted him, sweeping my hair off of my neck with my free hand and guiding his mouth to my flesh. For a few seconds he didn't move, but then his teeth punctured gently and he began to feed.

A rumble came from Paul, which I imagined would have been a vomiting noise if he had been in human form, but he stayed where he was, protecting us from any remaining newborns and from Rosalie too as she sniffed the air, nostrils flaring at the scent of my blood. Jasper rapidly began to grow stronger, the gentle feel of his lips on my neck turning to an eager draining of my veins, his hands lifting to grip my shoulders, nails digging into my flesh. I held him close in both arms, concentrating fiercely on the thought of saving his life and finishing the battle. The last thing I wanted to do was get hard right now when I was sitting there naked in front of Paul and Rosalie. Much to my relief there was no movement there, which was probably more to do with the fact that my blood was leaving my body at an alarming rate and my head was starting to feel fuzzy. Jasper was slowly sucking the life out of me and I blinked rapidly and swayed a little, his face swimming in front of me as he pulled back suddenly, licking his lips, his eyes golden and concerned.

"Oh, God, Jacob, I'm sorry, I took too much."

"It's...fine," I said thickly. My tongue felt too big for my mouth suddenly and my peripheral vision was fading.

"You saved me," Jasper murmured. "And I almost killed you."

"I'm ok." I breathed deep, willing myself not to faint. Gradually the feeling went away and I straightened up. I felt weak and wobbly, but determined to get back on my feet and phase again. However, I had no chance to do anything before Paul suddenly let out a yelp and sank onto his haunches, a newborn gripping him crushingly around his lower back. He had let down his guard in his apparent concern for me and was now paying for it.

I was still holding onto Jasper, but in a flash he was gone from my arms, flying at Paul and grabbing the newborn by the head before it could break Paul's bones. I watched as the head came away from the body and sailed through the air behind Jasper to hit the ground and crumble. The remaining body slumped to the ground, releasing Paul from its grip and he staggered to his feet, shaking himself vigorously. He eyed Jasper for a moment and gave a slight nod, then turned and sprang away.

There was no need for me to rejoin the battle after all and for that I was grateful. I realised after a few moments that I didn't have the strength to phase again and even if I had been able to, I would have been a hindrance. However, it was almost over. I gazed about at my pack and the Cullens, seeing a few of them finishing off the last couple newborns which were left standing, the rest grouping together and making their way towards us. Edward had collected a pair of shorts from Carlisle and now brought them to me. I got to my feet to put them on and my legs shook, still weak. Jasper was at my side in a second, holding me up and helping me get the garment on. Carlisle appeared a moment later and advised that Leah was healing fast and would be as good as new in a few hours.

"We almost lost Jasper," Rosalie said to him. "Jacob saved him, with his own blood." She turned to look at me then, surprisingly with a smile on her face. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. I guess I didn't take what you have seriously. We accepted Bella willingly enough, but I didn't extend you the same courtesy. You're still a mutt, though." Instead of sneering, she winked.

"Don't try and pretend you weren't tempted," I teased.

Rosalie coughed and wrinkled her nose. "Wolf blood? I don't think so."

"Emmett, take the truck," Carlisle instructed suddenly. "Drive Jacob and Jasper home and take Seth and Leah to the Clearwaters'. The rest of us will clear up this...mess."

"Do you need any of my guys to do anything?" I asked him.

Carlisle shook his head. "We're just going to burn the remains. Tell them to go home."

I did so and then Jasper half helped, half carried me to the vehicle. My head spun with the movement and I longed to lie down.

"I'm so sorry," Jasper repeated. "Shit, you could have died helping me."

"When I saw you lying there, I didn't care if I did," I said, sinking gratefully into the bed of the truck where some rugs were spread out. "I'll be fine, just as soon as I eat something."

"I'll make you steak," said Jasper, sitting beside me and snuggling as close as he could get.

Emmett drove to my place first, figuring that I was more in need of food than Leah was of her bed. She was sounding just like her usual self already, complaining and swearing about the fact that she would have a limp for a while.

I lay on the couch in the lounge while Jasper busied himself in the kitchen and within ten minutes I had a plateful of rare steak and eggs in front of me and a tall glass of milk. He had even cut the steak into chunks so that I wouldn't have to waste what little energy I had in sawing through it. I ploughed through the first few bites and gradually as my body registered that it was being refuelled, my strength began to return, a tiny bit at a time as my blood slowly started regenerating. I finished the meal quickly and although I felt better, my eyelids were heavy and I felt as if I could sleep for a week. I began to nod as Jasper took the plate away and I let my eyes close, dimly aware of sounds and movement around me before I felt softness beneath me - my mattress and pillow - and Jasper's cool hand touching my face. Then I was asleep.

It was late evening when I opened my eyes. Jasper was sitting on the bed, his back resting against the wall, reading one of my books.

"What are you reading?" I murmured.

He closed the book and put it down on the bed table. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. You sure read some weird stuff."

I chuckled. "It's the favourite book of a guitar player I like, I thought I'd give it a go. You know Slash?"

"Not personally," Jasper smiled. "I like his music though. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I'll get up in a minute."

"Do you want me to make you some more food or anything?" offered Jasper.

"No, I'm fine, thanks, I'll get some toast or something when I come down. I need a shower."

At that moment there was a loud knock on the door and I groaned. "Who the hell's that? It's what, nine o'clock?"

"I'll go see." Jasper shot out of the room and downstairs. I hauled myself out of bed and went into the bathroom, listening to the distant voices.

"I wanted to see how Jake's doing." It was Paul and I felt my eyebrows rise a touch. I left the bathroom door ajar and peered at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. Pale, drawn and with shadows under my eyes.

"He's ok, he just woke up," Jasper said.

"Can I see him?"

"He's in the shower."

"Can I wait? I really want to talk to him - both of you actually."

I turned the water on and stepped under it, drowning out their conversation. What did Paul want to talk about? He didn't even sound condescending the way he was talking to Jasper. I grabbed the shower gel and began to scrub myself, the hot water quickly washing away my tiredness and aches. I stood under it for a few minutes, then slowly dried off and pulled on a pair of cargo pants before heading downstairs. Jasper was in the kitchen making coffee and toast and I went to him.

"Is Paul here?"

"Yes, he's in the lounge, he said he wanted to talk to us." Jasper shrugged and handed me a mug of coffee. "I didn't ask how he drinks this."

"Black with two sugars," I said.

Jasper dumped sugar into the second mug and then began to sandwich the toast together with slices of cheese and meat in between. My mouth watered and I leaned closer to kiss his ear.

"I love you," I whispered and made my way to the lounge.

"Hey, Jake, how are you?" Paul asked at once.

"Better. I just needed food and sleep. Here." I passed him the coffee and sat down.

"That was a pretty admirable thing you did," he said. "You could have died."

"I know that. It was more important to me to save Jasper."

We both looked up as he came into the room with the plate of food.

"You want one of these?" I offered Paul, but he shook his head. Jasper sat down next to me.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Paul said. "I've been a real shit to both of you."

"Yup," I put in.

"I guess I'll never really understand how a wolf and a vampire can be together, but it seems to work for you two." He shrugged. "Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry and I'll quit being... the way I've been."

"That's good to hear," I nodded.

"And thanks, Jasper, for saving my ass earlier," Paul added.

Jasper grinned. "Believe me, I was tempted to let the leech squash you."

"I guess it would only have been what I deserved." He shrugged a touch sheepishly.

"You and Rosalie both changed your attitudes today," I commented.

"Yeah, well I guess we were both right there watching you almost die for him. I doubt I'll ever have something that important with anybody."

"Jealous, Paul?" I teased.

"Yeah. I guess somewhere along the line I must have got sick of just screwing everything with a pulse."

"Alice is free if you fancy trying something without a pulse," Jasper blurted out suddenly and then bit his lip.

Much to my astonishment, Paul laughed. "I don't think so. Not my type even if she was human. Too cutesy."

"Way too old for you too," Jasper smirked. "Alice is a hundred and ten."

Paul hung out with us for about a half hour and then took off, promising that he wouldn't be giving us any more problems in the future, although he had no intention of becoming bosom buddies with the Cullens any time soon. I was quite amazed by his improved attitude and relieved that at least all of us could spend time together in the future without me having to worry about him and Jasper coming face to face without me being there every minute to intervene if need be.

As I headed back to the lounge after seeing Paul out, Jasper halted me and steered me towards the stairs instead.

"Bed," he said firmly.

"Bossy, aren't we?" I teased. "You know, I still haven't got much energy."

"To _sleep_," Jasper grinned, slipping his hand into mine as I climbed one stair at a time.

"Alright, I know I look like shit," I sighed, yawning.

"You don't, but you're pale and still weak. God, I'm so sor..."

"Don't you dare say sorry again," I scolded as we reached the bedroom. "You nearly died too, remember? I couldn't bear it if I lost you. But we're both still here, that's all that matters." I unfastened the cargo pants and let them drop to the floor, then sank onto the bed in relief. "Come here. I want to fall asleep holding you."

Jasper undressed quickly and lay down with his back to me. He always positioned himself that way after that first time in the motel in Port Angeles when he nestled into my warmth as I fell asleep. I slid both arms around him now, holding him close and pressing my face into his neck.

"You feel so good," I murmured. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Jasper said softly. "Go to sleep. I'll still be here when you wake."

In mere seconds I was losing consciousness and despite having slept for several hours during the day, it was broad daylight before I woke again and Jasper was right where he was when I closed my eyes, his back still turned to me and his soft curls tickling my nose. I moved slightly and blew in his ear.

"Don't you get bored lying still all night while I sleep?" I whispered.

"No." He turned his head slightly towards me so I could see his smile. "I just sort of drift; I suppose it's the closest I can get to sleeping, only I'm completely aware of everything; every part of you touching me, your warmth, your heartbeat, your breath on my neck, slowing as you fall asleep. Sometimes you move when you're sleeping - kiss my neck or stroke my skin. I just...wallow in it, I guess." He smirked shyly. "Do I sound like some kind of weird creep?"

"No, you sound like me. Do you remember the first time I touched you? My hand on your back..."

"...in the club when that fat guy grabbed at me."

"Yeah. Even without the patho...kinesis, I wanted more of you." I shifted slightly, turning him onto his back and sliding my body over him, resting between his thighs when they slid open immediately. "I wanted to keep touching you and I kept imagining what it would feel like if you touched me. You made me come out in goosebumps and my hair stand on end."

"I still do." He rested his hands lightly on my back and stroked them over my bumpy skin. "I never thought I'd have this," he went on, his golden eyes looking up into mine. "I never thought I'd have even one minute with someone, let alone a lifetime."

I silenced him with a kiss, soft at first and then more urgent, my body quickly beginning to respond to the feel of him beneath me and telling me I was fully recovered from my blood loss. We made love slowly, savouring each touch, each kiss, each thrust when I finally guided myself into him. We came together, clinging to each other, hot and cold relishing every point of contact.

I drew away from him with great reluctance afterwards, wishing we could simply lie there all day, but we needed to shower, I wanted food and Jasper was growing thirsty. We showered together and then parted so he could hunt and I could grab bagels and head for the garage to work.

When I returned later, Jasper was already in my house making me pasta. I had previously given him a key, but I knew he only used it if the bedroom window was closed and it amused me to think of him flying up there and stepping through the open sash. Now I had a quick wash up and put on clean clothes, then annoyed him while he stirred the pasta sauce, my arms around his waist, my hands trying to unfasten his pants while my teeth nibbled his neck and his ear.

"Jacob, stop, I'll burn the sauce," he protested, slapping at my hands. I took them away reluctantly and squeezed his shoulders instead.

"I can't help it, baby, I can't get enough of you," I sighed. I pressed my lips against the coolness of his neck again. He was spending most of his time with me now and it seemed silly for him to keep making the pretence of going home to the Cullens'. It had crossed my mind several times already, I just hadn't voiced it.

"Jas, will you move in with me?"

He gasped and dropped the spoon into the sauce, then giggled, lowered the heat under the pan and turned to face me.

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it. We're going to be together forever, right? So doesn't it make sense that we're together every minute that we can be starting now?"

Jasper's face split into a beautiful sparkling smile. "Maybe we could go pack my things after dinner."

I kissed the end of his nose. "I'll eat fast." Then I let go of him quickly. "Don't burn the sauce."

The pasta was delicious, but I barely tasted it, gulping it down at top speed in order to get Jasper moved in as quickly as possible. Now the decision had been made I couldn't wait to see his clothes hanging in my closet, his shoes next to mine on the rack in the hall and the rest of his belongings wherever he wanted to put them around the house.

We took the truck to the Cullens' house and Jasper slid his hand into mine as we walked in. The house was quiet whereas usually there would be voices, or the sound of the piano or something going on.

"Hey, guys!" Alice called suddenly, appearing at the top of the stairs. "They're all out hunting."

"Aren't you thirsty?" I asked.

"My, you almost sound like one of us," giggled Alice. "Sure we can't tempt you?"

"Positive," Jasper put in before I could answer.

"Oh, of course, you couldn't feed from him if he turned, could you?" she said sweetly. "Isn't that weird? You know..."

"Alice!" Jasper hissed.

"I suppose I'm a little envious that you have each other and you're so close that..." She sighed. "You're like Romeo and Juliet."

"Please!" I scoffed. "They both died, we overcame that already. Come on, Jas, let's get your stuff."

"You're moving out?" Alice gasped.

"Yes," Jasper nodded. "Will the others be long? I really wanted to talk to Carlisle and Esme first, it would be rude to just leave after everything they've done for me."

"They'll be back soon," said Alice.

By the time we had packed Jasper's belongings - a surprising amount of clothes, books, music and so on accumulated in only a few weeks - the rest of the Cullens were returning and we left the bags and boxes in the bedroom and went down to speak to them. I knew Jasper would be concerned that they thought badly of him for accepting their hospitality and gifts and then walking out, but he had nothing to worry about. Carlisle and Esme both assured him he was part of the family and so was I, since I was with him. They were just glad that he was so happy and even more pleased when I stood there and told the whole group I would be continuing to phase to halt my aging in order to remain with him. Most nodded approvingly and even Rosalie smiled. Emmett glanced at her curiously.

"Nothing to say, Rose?"

"Enjoy your new home, Jasper," she grinned, quirking an eyebrow at Emmett.

"I'll never understand that woman if I live to be a thousand," Emmett muttered.

Edward and Emmett helped Jasper and me to carry everything out to the truck and then everyone hugged him, one after another, even though he was barely moving ten miles and would be seeing them every couple days to hunt. Esme even came to hug me.

"Take care of him, dear," she whispered.

"I intend to."

"What did Esme say?" Jasper asked when we finally in the truck heading away down the drive.

"She told me to take care of you," I grinned, pulling him closer to my side as I drove. "I was always going to do that."

"I know." He turned his face towards me and brushed cool lips against my cheek. "Let's go home."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - The lyrics of Jacob's song are by Joe Nichols (not me!)**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

We didn't see anything of the rest of the pack until the weekend. Brady and Collin had of course said goodbye and returned to university on Monday and Embry and Seth both called me during the week to see how Jasper and I were. I told them he moved in with me and after some teasing comments they stayed away, so I assumed they didn't want to interrupt our 'honeymoon period', not that it was likely to end any time soon. We couldn't get enough of each other and in those few days proceeded to fuck our way around the house, trying out every room and piece of furniture available and when we got tired of doing that, we would simply fall into bed, make love gently and snuggle together like the pair of lovesick fools we were. Sometimes Jasper would feed from me too, which of course only intensified things for both of us, although he restrained himself from making it a habit and went out to hunt every other day.

We were besotted with each other and if I didn't have to work, I would quite happily have spent every minute of every day with him and never run out of things to say or get tired of looking at him or touching him. The feel of his cold hands on my body or his skin under my warm palms never ceased to excite me and I could have drowned in his beautiful eyes, whether they were gold or black. I could have cheerfully talked about him all day if he wasn't with me if anyone could manage to listen without wanting to vomit from the adoration which oozed out of me. I even made myself laugh when I caught sight of myself in a mirror with a dopey in-love look on my face.

"What are you grinning at?" Jasper asked me on more than one occasion and my reply was always something along the lines of, "Just thinking about how much I love you."

Finally on Sunday we were interrupted by Jared calling and asking us to go and watch the band rehearse at Embry's place and we spent most of the day there. At last Jasper was treated just like one of the gang although Seth was the one who monopolised him the most during the times he wasn't singing.

It was less than three weeks to the show in Clearwater and Seth confessed to me later that now the battle was over and everything had settled down again, he was getting more and more worried about it. He had sufficient confidence in his singing, especially since everyone, even Paul, told him he was great, but he worried that the band's fans wouldn't take to him and that they would resent him stepping into my place. Even with me going along to introduce him, he was convinced it would go badly.

"It was so much easier when I was just the tech guy," he sighed.

"Yeah, but you were wasting your talents," I told him. "Come on, Seth, it'll go fine. People love Wolfpack, they're not going to change their attitude just because there's a new singer."

"But a lot of them just really liked you," he protested.

"Maybe not so much after that article in the paper," I shrugged. "At least Jasmine whatever-her-name-was will be glad to see the back of me."

"I guess." Seth didn't seem convinced and everyone noticed that as time passed and the day of the show grew closer, he only worried more.

Meanwhile, Jasper had a problem too, which was much easier for me to fix. I found him reading a newspaper and scowling when I returned from work one Friday. His face quickly split into a smile and he tossed the paper aside, but I noticed it was open at the employment section.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, breaking the warm kiss we greeted each other with.

"Nothing."

"Tell me the truth, I can see right through you," I said.

"I need a job."

"I'll take care of you, you know I will," I told him at once. "I make decent money."

"Yes, I know, but I feel guilty about it; I don't want to have to ask you for money if I want clothes or something. Or to buy you a present." He grinned suddenly. "It was just as bad at the Cullens'. Carlisle gave everyone an allowance and said he saw us all as his children, therefore he'd provide for us, but I don't want to live like that. The trouble is, there is no work around that I can do. I mean, I wouldn't get past the interview if I had to shake someone's hand. All I can really do is work in a - bar or club or something."

"Babe, there is no way I'm letting you work in a bar, even if it was only serving drinks," I said with a smile, an idea occurring to me. "You need to work somewhere that doesn't have a lot of people coming in and out; where you don't need to have an interview and the boss understands you might have to go out and take a long lunch sometimes."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen." He leaned against me with a sigh and rested his head on my shoulder. I ran my hands down his back gently and then linked them together, my arms encircling his waist.

"Work with me," I said. "If you don't loath the idea of getting your hands dirty too much. You're strong and..." I grinned wider and bit his ear. "...good with your hands."

He looked up at me. "You don't really want me working for you, do you?"

"I said with me, not for me. And I'd love it. It would mean that all those hours when I'm there working, dying to lock up and rush home to you, I wouldn't have to because you'd be right there. Things have gotten pretty busy lately, I'm turning people away so it's not like I'd be making a position up for you where there isn't one."

"Thank you," Jasper whispered, beaming. "When do I start?"

"Monday," I said. "Eight-thirty. You better be prompt or there'll be consequences."

"I'll behave," he smirked. "Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll think up ways of getting around the boss." In a second he was out of my arms and on his knees at my feet, my jeans at half mast and my rapidly hardening cock in his mouth.

"Fuck," I hissed, reaching out to grip the kitchen counter. The suddenness of his moves, coupled with the feel of his cool mouth around me and his hand caressing my balls, the other squeezing my butt had me rocketing towards eruption. I looked down at him, watching his mouth moving on me, gradually taking me deeper until I hit the back of his throat and the sight only served to drive me over the edge faster. I came, shouting his name, my legs turning weak and threatening to dump me on the tiled floor. Instead I drew Jasper to his feet and held him against me, my pants still around my knees.

"The boss is impressed already," I panted. I toed my shoes off and wriggled out of my jeans, still holding him, then scooped him up, tucking my hands under his butt so that he wrapped his legs around my waist.

"Where are we going?"

"Bed," I grinned. "So I can return the favour."

Jasper came to the garage with me for the first time on Monday as planned, wearing his oldest jeans and shirt, which still made him look as if he were done up ready to go on a date. I gave him some coveralls to wear which had been mine when I was sixteen, right before I got my wolf muscles and they fit him perfectly. I had a bunch of services booked in and we did the first couple together, then I left Jasper to his own devices and he did another three on his own, completing each efficiently and much faster than I could. He carried on working while I went to have lunch with Dad and then left an hour before me to hunt. It worked perfectly and the rest of the week flew by in the same way.

We closed up at two on Friday as it was a quiet day and went home to get ready for Wolfpack's show in Clearwater. The band hadn't managed to sort out a replacement for Seth's original job and Jasper offered to set up for them. Emmett had a drumkit and he knew well enough how to set one up. The guys agreed at once and the pair of us followed the others to the small town in my truck. Once we reached the club, Jasper immediately got to work, assisted a little by Jared himself and I sat in the dressing room talking to Seth, who confessed he thought he was likely to shit himself.

"They're going to hate me, I know it," he moaned. "The minute you walk off the stage they'll start booing and jeering. Why would they want me when they had you, Jake?"

"Stop it," I said firmly. "They're going to love you. You'll be fine, you just have to get through the first song and you'll see it's ok."

"What if I forget the lyrics?" he panicked. "Or miss my cue? Or fall over the fucking microphone stand or something? They'll laugh at me and it'll be in the paper tomorrow about how shit I was." He was literally shaking. He squeezed his hands together to still them, but the rest of him shook like a leaf and I wouldn't have been surprised to see him either run out of the club and disappear or rush into the rest room and begin vomiting.

"I'm pathetic," he finished, just as Jasper walked into the room. Perfect.

"Jas...can you help?" I said softly. Seth looked up in surprise.

"How are you going to help, Jasper? Want to sing for me?" he asked with a wobbly smile.

"Seth, just chill, it's going to be fine," Jasper said smoothly, walking over to sit on my lap, his eyes still on Seth. I cuddled him and watched the young man sitting across from me, seeing his whole body slowly begin to relax and his expression lighten. I hugged Jasper tighter and kissed his cheek.

"You ok, Seth?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess." He smiled then. "I'm just a bit nervous, I'll be fine once the waiting is over."

It was only another five minutes and one of the club staff stuck his head around the door to tell us it was time. Jared immediately walked out to his drumkit and we heard cheers from the crowd. Paul, Quil and Embry went out after another thirty seconds and the applause got louder.

"Alright?" I asked Seth as I walked with him and Jasper to the left side of the stage, keeping out of sight behind a stack of amps while the guys got themselves ready.

"Yeah." Seth gave me a fairly relaxed grin.

"Stay here with Jasper until I introduce you," I told him. "Remember the first song is 'Sold Out' and there's a set list taped to the stage by the microphone stand."

"Ok," Seth nodded.

It was only now that nerves hit me and my heart began to hammer, my palms sweating as I prepared to walk out there in front of the few hundred people there were likely to be and tell them I was leaving. I wiped my hands on my jeans, took a deep breath and felt myself relax as if by magic. It was going to be fine. I smiled and glanced over my shoulder at Jasper who gave me a smirk and lifted his eyebrows a touch. Then I walked onto the stage and took up my usual place behind the microphone stand. I rested my hand on the mike where it nestled in its cradle and grinned around at everyone as the noise rose with clapping and cheering and my name being shouted. The flashes of cameras began to go off and I blinked and looked to the back of the room rather than into the faces below me. Was I going to miss this? Not one bit.

I lifted both hands at my sides and then lowered them slightly, indicating I wanted quiet and gradually the noise subsided to just the odd person shouting out my name.

"Good evening, Clearwater," I said. Another wave of sound assaulted me, but settled again quickly. "Some of you may have heard that Wolfpack is making some changes, mainly the fact that I won't be performing with the band any longer..."

Groans and protests and cries of 'no' filled the room and I waited for them to calm down again.

"I decided being so much in the limelight isn't for me, but I want the band to go on to bigger and better things," I said. "For me, I want to spend more time with my family and my partner..."

"Are you gay?" someone called out. "It said in the paper!"

"Yeah and there was a picture of you cuddling a fella!" another person added.

Great. I suppose I had been a little naive to think that no one would mention that and I wondered whether to ignore it or answer. If I said nothing, they would probably either heckle me or make their own assumptions anyway.

"I have a boyfriend, yes," I said.

The bunch of girls right in front of me groaned and sighed and one shouted something derogatory which I ignored. Two guys to one side of the stage both cheered and clapped. It was a mixed reaction, but out of maybe three hundred people, nobody actually jeered.

"But that's not what this is about," I went on. "I want to introduce you to Wolfpack's new singer, a young guy I grew up with, who all of us know real well. He has actually been the band's tech guy for a long time so some of you might have seen him setting up Jared's drumkit or shifting amps around. I hope you're all going to give him a big welcome, especially since he shares his name with you guys." I glanced to the side and beckoned to Seth. "I want you all to give a big hand to Seth Clearwater!"

Seth walked quickly towards me, a smile on his face and I draped my arm around his neck and pulled him to my side. Everyone cheered. Not quite as loudly as they had when I walked out, but it was a positive reaction and one of the girls in the front took a photo of the two of us and then stretched her arms up towards Seth, waving frantically.

"Seth, are you single?"

He grinned at her and as the band began to play the intro to the first song, it was my cue to leave. I gave Seth's shoulder a squeeze and headed off the stage to join Jasper behind the amps. I stood behind him and slid my arms around his waist, my mouth against his ear.

"Thanks," I said.

"What for?"

"It wasn't just Seth you helped out."

"Your palms were sweating," he said. "I didn't want you to go out there all nervous and show everybody what you were feeling. I know I said I wouldn't do it again, but it wasn't for my benefit this time."

"Sshh, don't," I murmured. "I'm glad you did it."

I hugged him tighter and we stood there watching the show. Seth was perfect as a frontman, sliding into the role as if he'd been doing it for years. He engaged the crowd, encouraged them to sing the choruses and grinned in the direction of anyone pointing a camera. At the end of the first song, the applause was pretty much what it usually was and halfway through the show I decided he was making me look like an amateur. It wasn't that he sang better or fitted in with the band better, but that he was loving the limelight, working the audience, bending occasionally to touch someone's hand, making them all feel like they were part of the show, pausing occasionally between songs to say something, wondering if they knew a particular song or asking how he was doing, fixing a shy and apologetic grin on his face until they all cheered and chanted.

"He's a natural," I said to Jasper. "They're going to do great with him in the band."

"Don't you miss it at all?" he asked me.

"No, it wasn't me. I hated the attention, everyone wanting a piece of me - a photo, a touch, a question answered. Every time I saw a picture of me in the press or a quote of something I said it made me cringe. Seth loves it - look at him. I wish he'd done this a year ago."

"Will you still play for me?" Jasper asked hopefully.

"I plan to. I actually thought of writing some more of my own stuff, more like acoustic numbers. Remember that tune I played on your guitar? I'm going to add some lyrics to that for starters. But it won't be anything I do for an audience, unless it's just friends and family."

After an hour the band left the stage and we followed them back to the dressing room as cheers and thunderous applause followed us down the corridor. Seth was bubbling with excitement and began talking none stop as soon as the door closed. The rest of us all added to it by telling him how awesome he was and we stayed back there for ten minutes or so before the yelling and clapping and stamping drew the band back to the stage for their encore.

When it was all over, for the last time I went out into the club with the guys to talk to a few fans while Jasper packed up the gear. His method amused me greatly, moving things off the stage at normal speed and as soon as he was out of sight, continuing to the dressing room or the waiting trucks at the speed of sound.

Most people I spoke to expressed disappointment that I had left the band, but went on to say they thought Seth was a brilliant replacement. Most added that they thought he was cute and sexy and eventually abandoned me to seek him out. Relieved, I went backstage to wait with Jasper for the others to be ready to leave. It was all over for me and it felt great. No more pressure of trying to please people when it didn't please me to be doing it.

We all left around midnight, the trucks travelling in convoy back to Embry's house to unload and then we lounged around for another hour drinking beer before Jasper and I left to go home. He was thirsty and decided to go out and hunt so I stayed up, not wanting to go to bed without him. I picked up my guitar to pass the time and began playing the tune I had played for Jasper at the Cullens'. Gradually words began to come into my head and I started singing softly before grabbing a pen and paper to write them down. I already had a chorus, which was usually the way things happened for me.

___"Unsinkable ships sink, unbreakable walls break,__  
____Sometimes the things you think would never happen, happen just like that,__  
____Unbendable steel bends,__  
____If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,__  
____I've learned to never underestimate, the impossible."_

The impossible. It was like my life at the moment. Who would have thought I would fall in love with a vampire? Want to live forever to be with him? It seemed impossible and yet it had happened and together we were strong, both having narrowly escaped death.

I chewed the pen while I strummed the guitar as words began to flow through my mind, gradually forming verses. I never wrote this fast, it usually came to me in bits over a period of days while the band had always hounded me to come up with something faster and not contributed very much themselves. Now I was just letting things come to me without even trying and it seemed automatic.

___"My dad chased monsters from the dark, checked underneath my bed,__  
____He could lift me with one arm way up over top his head,__  
____He could loosen rusty bolts with a quick turn of his wrench,__  
____He pulled splinters from his hand, never even flinched,__  
____In thirteen years I'd never seen him cry, but the day that Grandpa died, I realised..."_

I sang it through again and added the chorus, then stopped as I became aware that I had company.

"Sorry I interrupted," Jasper said softly. "That was beautiful. Don't stop."

"Come and sit here," I told him, indicating the other end of the couch, but he shook his head.

"I'll stay here."

He slid down the wall and sat cross legged on the floor, not looking at me and I smiled. He didn't want to distract me. I began playing the tune again, getting myself back into the mood of the song, wondering what would come next.

___"Then there was my junior year, Billy had a brand new car..."_

Dad's name just popped in there without me thinking about it. He was strong - stronger even than me. He had gone through Mom dying when I was nine and brought me up on his own, battling with his diabetes through my teens until it was more me looking after him, but he wouldn't give up and wallow in self-pity like a lot would. My song was about winning over adversity and not giving up, just like him.

___"It was late, the road was wet, I guess the curve was just too sharp,__  
____I walked away without a scratch, they brought the helicopter in,__  
____Billy couldn't feel his legs, they said he'd never walk again,__  
____But Billy said he would and his Mom and Daddy prayed__  
____And the day we graduated, he stood up to say..."_

I played the chorus again and then stopped and looked over at Jasper.

"Any good?" I grinned a little sheepishly. No one had ever been with me listening as I created a song from nothing and I felt a touch self-conscious.

"Are you kidding?" Jasper got up and came over to me, kneeling on the floor at my feet. "It was so moving, if I could cry I would have tears rolling down my face by now."

I chuckled and put the guitar down. "Now you're just flattering me." I slid off of the couch to join him and pulled him into my arms. I told him how the lyrics had come to me, thinking of us and of Dad.

"I guess it does seem impossible that we're together," he smiled. "But amazing. What are you going to do with the song?"

"I don't know, just keep it for you and Dad for the moment," I told him.

"We should go see him tomorrow so you can play it to him," Jasper said. He and Dad got along really well now and Dad and I always talked about him when we ate lunch together. He seemed to have virtually forgotten Jasper was even a vampire and saw him only as my lover, almost part of the family.

"Yeah, he'll want to hear about the show too," I said and rose to my feet, pulling him up. "I'm tired, let's go to bed."

We hurried up the stairs, but as was always the case, the feel of him against me as we slid beneath the quilt drove away tiredness and excited me instead. It was another hour before I finally closed my eyes and drifted into sleep with Jasper in my arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**This is the last chapter, faithful readers. Thank you all for reading and commenting - glad you enjoyed my first vamp fic and I promise not to keep you waiting long for my next story, which is going to be all human.**

EPILOGUE

**Nine Years Later**

It was three months after what would have been my thirtieth birthday. As usual April was wet and cold - well, cold to anyone who wasn't either a wolf or a vampire. The weather fit the occasion perfectly as I stood there in my best suit, gripping Jasper's hand tightly while the rain washed my tears away.

Dad had finally succumbed to heart disease four days earlier. He had stubbornly refused to give in until Christmas was over and then suddenly he began to get weaker, more breathless, his movements more painful. I spent more and more time with him, helped by Sue Clearwater and Carlisle while Jasper ran the garage almost single-handedly. For those final two weeks we had moved in with Dad to be with him every minute and he had passed peacefully in his sleep on Sunday while I sat at his bedside. Even though I had known he could go at any time, it was still a shock to see his chest fall for the last time. I sat there for maybe ten minutes waiting for him to take another breath, knowing that he wouldn't. He was gone.

Half the Reservation turned out for the funeral, crowds of them standing around and my eyes landed briefly on all of the pack with their families as I gazed about me. Sam and Emily were there with their two children; Leah was married to a guy from Portland where she had moved, although they had come back for the funeral; Jared and his wife, Kim were there with their twin girls; Embry and his new wife Marie; Paul and his girlfriend of three years, Suzanne. Yes, Paul had a girlfriend. Everyone had just about fallen down in shock when he introduced her and she was the least likely woman anyone could have guessed would fall for Paul. She was tiny and timid with pale skin and almost white blonde hair and he treated her like she was made of bone china, opening doors for her, carrying things for her, actually behaving like a gentleman; meanwhile she constantly gazed at him as if the sun shone out of his ass. Quil was still single, mainly because he was too fussy and Seth had flitted from one girl or boy to another during the last few years, but was currently on his own and hoping to find someone to settle down with. Fame and fortune had gone to his head a little after Wolfpack rapidly rose in popularity, touring larger areas of the States and eventually beginning to make records and tour abroad. I had left at the right time. I knew I couldn't have done that. Their schedule was gruelling and put tremendous pressure on them and their relationships, not to mention the fact that they were constantly in the press with lies being printed about them to explain candid photos, but somehow they had made it work.

Collin and Brady had never returned to La Push, at least not to live. They visited their families and the rest of us, but after leaving university that had both found jobs in the cities and settled down there with girls they met later.

I felt out of place now, the face looking back at me from the mirror still that of a twenty-one-year-old when everyone else had aged, developing laughter lines and crows' feet here and there, the odd grey hair sprouting from amidst the black. I felt more comfortable in the Cullens' house than I did in those of my closest friends, all of them looking of a similar age to my own.

Now I watched as Dad's casket was lowered into the sodden earth and Jasper and I each scattered a handful of dirt onto its polished top before we stepped back to let everyone else do the same. We made our way back to Dad's house where Sue and Leah had prepared food for the wake and I pulled myself together for the next couple hours as everyone offered condolences, telling me what Dad had meant to them and how well I had done with my business and in caring for him in his last months.

None of them knew I was leaving. Well, the pack knew. I had asked them not to tell their families until after I left, not wanting a huge farewell get together which would only add to the tears already shed for Dad.

Gradually the house emptied and the pack's wives took the children home, leaving only me, Jasper and the guys. I had already put the house in the hands of an agent and also my own house. There would be no coming back, at least not for the foreseeable future.

"I guess this is it, guys," I said now, yanking my tie loose and stuffing it into my jacket pocket.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Seth said tearfully. "Most people around here know about you anyway."

"On the Reservation, yes, but not in Forks. Most of my customers don't and there was that picture in the newspaper last year," I reminded him. A local photographer had snapped me in a restaurant in Forks with Jasper and written a short article questioning what we could be doing to keep ourselves looking so impossibly young.

Each of them came to me now to give me a farewell hug and promised to keep in touch by email at the very least. They all hugged Jasper too and then came outside to watch as we went to our vehicles. I had long since sold the faithful old Rabbit and now had a classic Corvette along with a new truck. Jasper took the Corvette while I slid behind the wheel of the truck. Its bed was stacked with items wrapped in tarps and a U-Haul trailer was hooked up behind. We were ready to move on to our new life and I took a deep breath, swallowed the lump in my throat and shifted into gear, slowly pulling onto the road behind the Corvette and following it in the direction of Forks.

We slowed as we drew close to the Cullens' long driveway and waited while their vehicles pulled out in front of us in convoy; Carlisle and Esme in their Mercedes, Emmett and Rosalie in a truck with a trailer behind, Alice next in her much loved Porsche which I had serviced and replaced parts on for years because she refused to part with it. Edward and Bella came after her in another truck and trailer and then Jasper and I joined the end of the line of vehicles.

As we passed Forks and headed north, tears filled my eyes again and spilled down my cheeks. Jasper was my life and I was excited about going with him to continue it somewhere else, but at the same time I was leaving everything I knew behind, including Dad, and I couldn't pretend it didn't hurt. I was actually glad not to be travelling in the same vehicle as Jasper, knowing he would have been upset by my sadness and unsure whether to use his ability to help me feel better or not.

Our destination was Prudhoe Bay on the north coast of Alaska, where a coven of vegetarain vampires that the Cullens called their cousins resided. They had been there only a year, having moved from the west coast after their lack of aging became a problem and we were to join them, initially occupying a mansion which Carlisle had purchased. It was over twenty-three hundred miles by road and would take several days of driving. Emmett had initially suggested one of the others drive my truck so that I could sleep rather than break the journey several times, but Carlisle preferred to take his time, allowing stops for me to freshen up, eat and sleep properly in motels and the rest of them to hunt.

It was Tuesday when we arrived and as we drove along the coast road towards our new home, I opened the truck windows to breathe the sea air and noticed the climate wasn't too different from La Push - damp and windy, although the temperature was well below freezing. I knew that one or two degrees was the best that could be hoped for, even in the middle of summer, not that it would affect any of us.

I felt better now, the long drive gradually taking me further and further from home having ceased to be painful by the time we had passed through Canada and instead I felt an eagerness to see my new home and begin settling in. I intended to set up a garage the same as I had in La Push and had previously learned that Prudhoe Bay had a small repair shop which wasn't really adequate for the size of the town. I had already had an offer on my old business and told my agent to accept it and I was making a killing, so I had ample funds to buy a premises and start up again.

As I drove the truck behind the rest of the vehicles I could see our new home from a distance - white-walled, three stories high with a tower to one end, standing on a slight rise close to the cliffs and overlooking the choppy grey sea. It was surrounded by walled gardens and as we turned onto the driveway I noticed fancy iron gates swing inwards as Carlisle's car reached them. We all drove up to the circular parking area in front of the house and immediately two suited men appeared, whom I guessed must be staff as one pulled open Esme's door and helped her out of the car. I parked the truck and jumped out, going to join Jasper as he slid out of my Corvette.

"This looks pretty cool," I said, entwining my fingers with his.

"Yeah, I hope we get a room with a sea view." He turned to look at me and touched my face. "Are you ok? I felt your pain for the first three days, but I kept out of it. It lessened when we left Canada."

"I'm ok, I guess I just had to go through it." I turned my head and kissed his palm. "Have we got rooms allocated or is it the first one to get there?"

"First one to get there, I think," Jasper said with a smirk. "You know I'm faster than the others."

"Well, then get in there and pick," I grinned back.

"Guys, Esme and I will be taking the suite in the tower," Carlisle said, pointing upwards. "The rest of you, sort yourselves out. There are eight ensuite bedrooms..."

Jasper was gone in a flash, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice flying after him. Edward and Bella walked and I could hear him muttering something about 'children' as they stepped through the door. I grinned and followed, knowing Jasper would already have got the best room.

The lobby was huge, like that you would expect to find in a hotel, with a marble floor and a decorative fountain in the middle, chandeliers hanging overhead. I gazed about me, in no hurry to get upstairs, taking in the decorations, glancing through some of the doors which led off the lobby to reveal a dining room, at least two lounges and studies. A curved staircase swept up the side of the lobby to the second floor, carpeted in red and I walked up slowly, peeking into some of the rooms there and finding Edward and Bella choosing one of the suites on that floor. Emmett and Rosalie had another and she was grouching that Emmett hadn't been fast enough to get one of the two rooms on the top floor. Grinning, I climbed the next staircase to find that level occupied by some storage rooms, a music room and an art room and two bedroom suites. Alice was in one - I could see her flitting about through the open door, squealing over the view and the enormous closet and the rich blue carpet.

"Jacob! Hurry up, come and see this!" Jasper called out from another room along the landing and I quickly joined him.

The room was immense, carpeted and curtained in dark green, a king size four-poster bed positioned on one wall. Mahogany dressers and chests stood along the wall either side of the door and a walk-in closet and bathroom opened off one side of the room. Jasper was standing at the window - a huge expanse of glass stretching almost from one side to the other. I went to him and slid my arms around him, pressing myself against his back as we looked out.

Directly below were gardens - neatly trimmed lawns, rose bushes which I knew Esme would love, shrubs and small trees - then beyond the wall was the sea. Even through the glass I could hear waves crashing against the bottom of the cliffs and I could imagine lying in the huge bed with Jasper in my arms, falling asleep to the sound.

"This is awesome!" I said and kissed his neck. "You definitely got the best room. Rosalie is pissed as hell at Emmett for not getting up here."

"I know, I can feel," Jasper grinned. "She's tempted to throw him out of the window." He turned now in the circle of my arms and rested his hands on my chest. "You are happy to be here, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," I said at once. "It was time. I know we couldn't have stayed any longer and my place is with you, wherever that is. I love you, Jas, you're everything to me."

"I love you too," he murmured. "And thank you."

"Whatever for?" I said in surprise.

"Giving me this. Giving me a life again."

I brushed my lips against his. "You know how many times you've said that to me?"

"A few each year, I guess," he smiled. "I'll probably still be saying the same thing a hundred years from now."

"Even after nine years I'm still not used to the fact that we have forever together," I told him. I let go of him and continued looking around the room. A flat screen television with built-in DVD player was mounted on the wall opposite the bed and I grinned as I wondered if we would ever find any use for it.

Jasper moved towards the door and I could tell by his sudden fidgeting that he was growing thirsty. The others had all hunted the previous night, but he had insisted on staying in the motel with me, snuggling against me while I slept.

"I should hunt," he said now and glanced at me slightly apologetically, his eyes slowly blackening.

For once it was me who moved quickly, closing the door and turning the key in the lock before he could step through it.

"Our first evening in our new home, I don't want to let you out of my sight," I said, grasping his hands and pulling him towards the bed. "Lie down with me. We haven't done this since before Dad passed away."

Jasper smiled coyly and drew his hands out of mine, reaching up to begin unfastening my shirt. After undoing the first couple of buttons slowly, he stopped teasing and removed the rest of my clothes and his own in seconds and suddenly we were lying in the middle of the enormous bed, limbs entwined, his lips covering the small wound in my neck, my heart pumping my blood rapidly through my veins to nourish him, my cock stiffening eagerly. We truly belonged to each other, I thought, closing my eyes as he removed his mouth from my neck and placed his warm lips on mine. Forever.


End file.
